Parenting after 35
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Dear board, please wake up!

Ok, moms! Would you please share your methods of disciplining your kids. Do you use time outs, other kind of "punishment", ... and how is that going for you? When did you start?


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Re: Dear board, please wake up!

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    DS is almost 1 and so far we have been doing the "be patient / talk calmly to your kid / explain good and bad". I feel like he understands a lot of what we are saying. Until now, for most of the times this method has worked well. BUT, he is starting to show personality, sometimes being very stubborn, and I think we are getting close to throwing tantrums too. The other day we discussed with DH and would like to try the time out method. I foresee a lot of crying from DS and nerves tearing (mine and DHs). So I am still gathering strength and patience to start....  
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    My LO is only 16 months and thinks being told no is funny, even in my sternest teacher voice, so I do a lot of redirecting.  Before too much longer, we'll probably have to start time outs, but she really hasn't done anything "bad" enough to warrant one yet.  Having typed that, tomorrow she'll be a little terror I'm sure Big Smile

     

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    steverstever member
    We do time outs and started when he was around 1. Starting at 2 or so, basically when he could sort of be reasoned with, we started taking toys from him when TO's don't work.
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    Time outs never worked for me.  They work for my husband.  I have a scary mom voice that causes grown men to stop what they are doing.  That works for me.
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    I start with the snap and point and move to time outs with 6yo.  With 1yo we start with uh-uh-uh and move to relocation. I try reinforcing the positive as well but I think it is only for me to feel like I am not always nagging.
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    With the 26 month old, we do "sitting on the bottom step to calm down."  Sometimes a stern tone works and makes him stop and cry.  We also take things away. 
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    Can't recall when I started (kids are 4 and 6 now and its seems like always) but we read 1 2 3 Magic and Parenting with Love and Logic when my oldest was very young and have always used those methods - time outs are used more to calm the situation/person than as a punishment, we take away things like the girls iPods or don't do whatever we had planned if needed. 
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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    When our 2yo was younger we guided him by taking things away or moving him away from a location. Taking things away really worked. He clearly got the message that we didn't want him doing what he was doing. We warned him beforehand so he wasnt completely taken aback. The, starting at 2, we now do Supernanny's naughty spot, but it rarely comes to this.  He completely understands our warning. he hates the naught spot because he hates being removed from play, so he rarely ignores a warning. 
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    Included in my arsenal of disciplining methods:

    Rewards for good behavior - extra computer time, earning a special game or such, sometimes $$, having a written list of behavior rewards - sticker chart for little guys check sheet for older.

    Consequences for poor choices: time out, losing a toy/favorite activity, extra chores, having to pay for something with their own money - i.e. if they break something, pay their sister for doing the chore they were supposed to do. . . 

    I use whatever works at the time and. . . flame away, but I even occasionally use. . . spanking... I will qualify that it's a mild slap, not given in anger - that is key- and not used in response of a physical aggression - but typically used for defiant behavior. . . not before 18 months or after about age 7 or so.  I only use this if I see results, I use it very sparingly, I use it if I see an immediate need or if other forms of discipline are not working or to reinforce something like teaching my child not to run away from me in a parking lot or towards the road - something that could lead to a life or death situation. 

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