2nd Trimester

Having to get rid of a pet..

Any one else think they will have to do this by the time their baby gets here? We have an almost year old mixed breed(of what..no one knows) but he is SO BAD & borderline aggressive, but it kills me to know that we will more than likely have to get rid of him. He is still just a puppy, but he doesn't respond to anything which makes it even worse. Any one else gonna have to take this step??
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Re: Having to get rid of a pet..

  • Absolutely not.  They are here to stay.

    It isn't your dog's fault he doesn't behave or listen.   

  • I am nervous that we will have to get rid of ours too. He is 3 and the main problem is he is just so hyper. He listens to DH, but only listens to me sometimes. He likes to jump on me which is so not ok. He is also very slobbery which is hard to keep up with....
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  • imageSprite2012:

    Absolutely not.  They are here to stay.

    It isn't your dog's fault he doesn't behave or listen.   

    This.  Call a trainer and be a responsible pet owner.

    SS10 - SD9 - DD7 - DS5 - DS born 10/3/12
  • Warning: you will likely get flamed for this thred. With that being said, there are extreme circumstances when you have to do this, but usually its just laziness. We had a lab with severe anxiety. We tried group and private obedience classes, in home classes, medicine, food changes, calming vests, scents, etc and she just got worse with age. The kids knew better than to bug her, but they will be playing independently in the room and she would walk in growling. I was personally attacked by a dog as a kid, so I was not Ok. I was a. l was not OK with dumping my dog or secluding her from family. My FIL had just lost his dog and was quite fond of ours (he would watch her when we traveled so she was very familiar with him and loved him too). It was a hard decision but she's much happier there. I get super irritated when people are just like "Eh...I don't want to deal with it when the baby gets here." We tried everything and spent thousands of dollars because it was our responsibility. Pets aren't disposable.
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    I agree with PP. A good dog trainer and discipline from you can be very helpful in this situation. I am a firm believer in the fact that you brought this dog into your home to love and care for like family. You wouldn't send you child away if it was behaving badly or going through a rough time? 

    * I don't mean to sound rude or hurtful. I just hate when people get to a point with there pets where they don't want them anymore for whatever reason. I truly believe that you can get through this with time and patience. Don't get me wrong, there are situations when a dog may need to be removed from the home if aggression is to the point of biting or seriously hurting someone. Give you little guy a chance, he may just surprise you. It's amazing how similar taking care of a dog and a child can be. Especially when it comes to discipline. Good Luck!!

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  • Its not the dogs fault he is so bad, it's called lack of training!  I hate pet owners who bring in an animal to thier home, don't train it and then blame it for the problems it has, and gets rid of it.  You don't deserve to have a dog or cat.
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  • ***NEWSFLASH** Most puppies are hyper and need exercise and training.

    Why would you get a puppy right before you're TTC, that seems like terrible planning on all counts.

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  • We've had our cat for about 8 years now and we were worried about having to keep her away from DD since she was awesome with us but did not/does not like anyone else! My sisters are big cat fans and they are a bit scared of our cat because she is so crazy and will hiss at people. No clue why she is like that but she just is.

    Anyways, from the moment we brought DD home (she is now 2 years old) our cat has been amazing with her!! You might be surprised! I know we were!

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  • Nope. When you adopt a pet, you make a lifetime commitment to that pet, regardless of what he does or what life changes you make. You can always find a way to deal with it or fix the problem. Sorry that he's bad, but I'm sure there are ways that you can make it more manageable.
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  • Instead of just letting your dog be "bad", why not train it properly so that you can keep the pet that you took in and are caring for?
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  • My husband is having to get rid of his two year old bengal cats. They are sooo cute and sweet like dogs. However, I am pretty allergic, and right now they are just shut up in their room (yes they have their own room) and they barely can come out. Plus they are pretty curious and anything that moves they think is there toy to play with and attack. So squirmy baby not a good combination. Hes sad but his sister is going to take them so at least he will be able to see them every once in a while. And possibly when we get a bigger place they might be able to come back with us. We will see. The baby and my health is just more important.
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  • If you can't handle your pet, it's no use berating you about it. The important thing is that you start looking for a good home now, ideally someone you are close to and know you can trust with your dog. It's sickening to think anyone in this situation would just drop their pet off at a shelter, but people do. You really have to wonder where their fledgling parental instinct is hiding in that moment.
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  • imageDelBride2012:
    If you can't handle your pet, it's no use berating you about it. The important thing is that you start looking for a good home now, ideally someone you are close to and know you can trust with your dog. It's sickening to think anyone in this situation would just drop their pet off at a shelter, but people do. You really have to wonder where their fledgling parental instinct is hiding in that moment.

    I agree with this.  The idea that she since she got the dog now she could keep it forever no matter what is ridiculous.  It's an animal, not a human being, and there are even adoptive parents of children who end up having the child re-adopted.  There are sometimes situations where it is better for both the people and the animal if the animal finds a more suitable owner.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

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  • No...I don't have to get rid of my pet.  We actually trained him, so it won't be a problem.

    ~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
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  • Absolutely not. When I adopted my cat 5 yrs ago, I committed myself to his future and well being for the rest of his life. A dog trainer would be an excellent start, and with the dog being so young, you'll probably nip the bad behavior in the bud fairly quickly. I'm sorry he's such a pain in the @ss, but he's a pain in the @ss that you guys took into your home; please don't give up on him.
  • imageSprite2012:

    Absolutely not.  They are here to stay.

    It isn't your dog's fault he doesn't behave or listen.   

    :Steps on soapbox: 

    There are only a few things that irk me more than getting rid of a pet because of a baby coming...

    This pet was your responsibility and when you took it in, you vowed to give it a longterm, loving home. Just because it gets hard DOES not mean you can just give up on the pet! Would you do that to your child? Its not the dog's fault he doesn't listen. Get a trainer and take care of your animal...

    :Steps off soapbox:

     

     

  • imageitsmevkb:

    imageDelBride2012:
    If you can't handle your pet, it's no use berating you about it. The important thing is that you start looking for a good home now, ideally someone you are close to and know you can trust with your dog. It's sickening to think anyone in this situation would just drop their pet off at a shelter, but people do. You really have to wonder where their fledgling parental instinct is hiding in that moment.

    I agree with this.  The idea that she since she got the dog now she could keep it forever no matter what is ridiculous.  It's an animal, not a human being, and there are even adoptive parents of children who end up having the child re-adopted.  There are sometimes situations where it is better for both the people and the animal if the animal finds a more suitable owner.

    Lurker jumping in.

    This is aboslutely not correct! I do agree that there are extreme circumstances where you may have to give up a pet. The circumstance presented by the OP is 100% NOT one of those circumstances. I'm sorry, but when you adopt a pet, you are making a lifetime committment. That animal knows nothing but you.

     OP, you are doing a great disservice to yourself and your dog by not getting him trained. One, he's a puppy still and puppies will be puppies. Deal with it. Two, most dogs will have a good turnaround if trainng is needed and provided. Money is not an excuse. Three, is he fixed? It may not  make a huge difference if it's gone on this long, but it's better for him  health-wise anyway, if you do not plan on breeding.

    I'm sorry, but I have a HUGE issue with people thinking it is okay to give away their pets because a baby is coming into the home. My dogs are my first babies. I have severe anxiety attacks weekly thinking about how we are going to keep them taken care of and not have them be upset while I'm in the hospital having the baby. And, believe me there is dog hair all over my house, they still have accidents here and there, and they are crazy spoiled to have our attention at all times. But, I will be doing everything I can when the baby comes to make sure all FIVE of the beings living in my house will be happy and cared for when baby comes.

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  • imagemaybebride:
    imageitsmevkb:

    imageDelBride2012:
    If you can't handle your pet, it's no use berating you about it. The important thing is that you start looking for a good home now, ideally someone you are close to and know you can trust with your dog. It's sickening to think anyone in this situation would just drop their pet off at a shelter, but people do. You really have to wonder where their fledgling parental instinct is hiding in that moment.

    I agree with this.  The idea that she since she got the dog now she could keep it forever no matter what is ridiculous.  It's an animal, not a human being, and there are even adoptive parents of children who end up having the child re-adopted.  There are sometimes situations where it is better for both the people and the animal if the animal finds a more suitable owner.

    Lurker jumping in.

    This is aboslutely not correct! I do agree that there are extreme circumstances where you may have to give up a pet. The circumstance presented by the OP is 100% NOT one of those circumstances. I'm sorry, but when you adopt a pet, you are making a lifetime committment. That animal knows nothing but you.

     OP, you are doing a great disservice to yourself and your dog by not getting him trained. One, he's a puppy still and puppies will be puppies. Deal with it. Two, most dogs will have a good turnaround if trainng is needed and provided. Money is not an excuse. Three, is he fixed? It may not  make a huge difference if it's gone on this long, but it's better for him  health-wise anyway, if you do not plan on breeding.

    I'm sorry, but I have a HUGE issue with people thinking it is okay to give away their pets because a baby is coming into the home. My dogs are my first babies. I have severe anxiety attacks weekly thinking about how we are going to keep them taken care of and not have them be upset while I'm in the hospital having the baby. And, believe me there is dog hair all over my house, they still have accidents here and there, and they are crazy spoiled to have our attention at all times. But, I will be doing everything I can when the baby comes to make sure all FIVE of the beings living in my house will be happy and cared for when baby comes.

     Well great for you. If someone else does not feel the way you do, telling her to feel differently is supremely unhelpful. Better that this dog be responsibly re-homed than remain in this home where 1) they didn't have the patience and desire to train it properly in the first place and 2) those things are only going to be in shorter demand going forward. Insisting on keeping the dog who is not well-trained and not 100% wanted anymore is just punishing everyone involved, including the puppy. There's nothing special or magical about a dog staying in its first home. We have both adopted older dogs and gotten puppies straight from breeders and you can't tell me for one second that the adopted older dogs were somehow hurt by the transition. 

     

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  • imageitsmevkb:

    imageDelBride2012:
    If you can't handle your pet, it's no use berating you about it. The important thing is that you start looking for a good home now, ideally someone you are close to and know you can trust with your dog. It's sickening to think anyone in this situation would just drop their pet off at a shelter, but people do. You really have to wonder where their fledgling parental instinct is hiding in that moment.

    I agree with this.  The idea that she since she got the dog now she could keep it forever no matter what is ridiculous.  It's an animal, not a human being, and there are even adoptive parents of children who end up having the child re-adopted.  There are sometimes situations where it is better for both the people and the animal if the animal finds a more suitable owner.


    This is bullsh!t.  Bull.  Sh!t.  You took a living thing into your home to provide and care for it, and now you would dump him in an unfamiliar place because you MIGHT have problems down the road?  Find a behaviorist/trainer and get this dog some training.  It's not his fault you have failed him on learning what the boundaries of your house are.

    If you do still decide to give this dog up, please don't ever adopt another pet.  Not even a hamster, mouse, snake, etc.  They deserve better than being dumped when you get tired of them or can't be bothered to train them.

    Also, check this out for really good input on how to introduce the baby and the dog and how to let them interact:  https://babiesandbeasts.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20MOST%20IMPORTANT%20post%20in%20here

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  • imageash2664:
    I am nervous that we will have to get rid of ours too. He is 3 and the main problem is he is just so hyper. He listens to DH, but only listens to me sometimes. He likes to jump on me which is so not ok. He is also very slobbery which is hard to keep up with....

     Ugh this and the OP's post just made me so effing mad. I have 4 dogs, all of which have some sort of "issue" that is a lot worse then being slobbery and I would never entertain the idea of getting rid of any of them. They are MY RESPONSIBILITY, I chose to be their mom and by doing so I made a promise to them. They are not disposable!!! I can't effing stand people who are so irresponsible with pets. GAWD this thread just pissed me off on a beautiful Friday... 

  • I volunteer with my pup through an animal shelter. We visit schools, etc to talk about meeting dogs safely. Whenever we go in to get our official badges, my little dog and I wait near the "surrendering" area. To watch a happy pup come in and then watch its master walk away without him is just awful. The dog looks so hopeful as its led back to a cage... where is my person? When will my person be back?

    I ask that if you must give away your dog (though I hope you reconsider) please find someone to take him or her, not a shelter. Please. 

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  • You will more than likely have to get rid of him?  Have you taken measures to ensure that you won't?  Have you procured any type of training for your dog?  He is not even a year old...That's like the toddler years for a child.  Are you just going to pawn your toddler off on someone else when he/she doesn't respond to anything?  How about taking some measures to help your puppy...like obedience training, daily exercise of 1-2 hours, setting limits, and rewarding good behavior.  I work in rescue and can not tell you how many dogs are put to sleep EVERY single day bc the owner felt they had a "bad" dog, when really they just had a dog that had absolutely no training.  When you got your puppy you were making a commitment...they are a FOREVER dog, not an UNTIL dog.  There are certain circumstances where an owner has truly tried everything and the dog just does not fit with the family, I understand this; I have seen it.  This not the case in your situation.  Take your dog to some obedience classes and educate him and yourself, it will make for a much happier owner and pup.
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  • imageash2664:
    I am nervous that we will have to get rid of ours too. He is 3 and the main problem is he is just so hyper. He listens to DH, but only listens to me sometimes. He likes to jump on me which is so not ok. He is also very slobbery which is hard to keep up with....
     

    He obviously understands the order of the pack if he listens to your husband.  In his mind it is your husband, him, and then you.  You need to fix that with training.  Jumping?  Also a problem remedied with training.  Ignore him when he jumps, turn your back on him.  He is seeking your attention by jumping...do not reward the behavior by giving it to him.  Just turn away.  And alternatively reward with a treat or with a rub and "good boy" when he does not jump.  As far as hyper goes...dogs are hyper people! they require exercise of 1 to 2 hours a day!  

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  • Not a chance. 

    We knew we eventually wanted kids when we brought both dogs into the household. We focused on training and socialization with both of our dogs from the beginning. One is a rescue and one we've had since she was a puppy. If we see any behavior issues, we address with our trainer/behaviorist and do in home sessions (these were especially key for our adopted dog, as he came from a really sad background). They make sure that they both see and interact with kids, other dogs, and adults on a regular basis - and they're monitored carefully for these interactions. We do regular training classes with both of them, and we make sure they're properly exercised (both with us and through doggie day care) throughout the week.

    We're signed up for classes through our trainer on "dogs and storks" - she also offers "dogs and babies" and "dogs and kids" sessions. We've read up on some of the awesome dogs and kids blogs out there, and we've bought a few books on transitioning dogs to a home with kids. We'll do move proactive pre-baby introduction in the next three months.

    BTW, our dogs are high-energy, very intelligent, hyperactive dogs with herding instincts who are EXTREMELY attached to us.

    Work on socialization and get some professional training for your dog now - he's still a puppy. What you see as "borderline agressive" is most likely FEAR, because he doesn't know how to react to unfamiliar situations. I'm suggesting this because I'm assuming you WANT to keep your dog - if you don't, adopt him out now while he's still a puppy and highly desirable.

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  • I'll admit, I judge the *** out of you. The second we adopted both of our dogs, we fell in love. They are our family. I wouldn't even know what to do with myself if something happened to them.

    Were they bad? Hell yeah they were. Our shepherd mix was just a puppy when we got him. He went to the bathroom all over the place, got into the trash, ripped up carpet, ripped up pillows, and was super hyper. We lost a lot of money on fixing those things. But it wasn't HIS fault. We got training for him and took him to doggie day care twice a week to get out his energy. He now is the sweetest boy in the whole world. Sometimes still hyper but he knows boundaries.

    Our second dog we adopted when he was 2. He didn't like people very much because of the shitty life he had before we got him. We worked with him, showed him love, and guess what? He is now not shy anymore. He is still food aggressive but we make him eat away from the other dog.

    This isn't the dog's fault. It's your fault because no where in your post did you say you exhausted all training options. 

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  • imageitsmevkb:

    imageDelBride2012:
    If you can't handle your pet, it's no use berating you about it. The important thing is that you start looking for a good home now, ideally someone you are close to and know you can trust with your dog. It's sickening to think anyone in this situation would just drop their pet off at a shelter, but people do. You really have to wonder where their fledgling parental instinct is hiding in that moment.

    I agree with this.  The idea that she since she got the dog now she could keep it forever no matter what is ridiculous.  It's an animal, not a human being, and there are even adoptive parents of children who end up having the child re-adopted.  There are sometimes situations where it is better for both the people and the animal if the animal finds a more suitable owner.

    Yes and this is not one.  This situation could be easily fixed.  Also, this "it's an animal not a human being" way of thinking is disgusting.  

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  • Well, I'm an animal lover, so you won't get any sympathy from me. However, we don't have a dog - we have two cats. They'd never been around children and when my niece and nephew came to visit prior to our baby being born, they hissed and swatted at them. I was a little nervous about bringing our baby home, but just thought we'd have to keep an eye on them. 

    By day two, they were in love with her. If the baby was crying the cats would get under my feet and howl at me, as though to tell me to hurry up and help the baby. Now my DD is 2.5 and kitty was her first word. She gives them hugs, which involves laying on top of them and they just take it. They have never hissed or swatted at her. 

    I honestly believe they were more aggressive with my older niece and nephew because the kids were more aggressive with them. But having been with our DD when she was tiny and immobile helped them adjust slowly to the now pretty rough and tough toddler years. They still come and howl at me if they hear her moving around in the morning and we haven't gone to get her out of bed.

     I agree with the others that training sounds like a great solution. Good luck! 

  • imageClairHJ:
    Any one else think they will have to do this by the time their baby gets here? We have an almost year old mixed breed(of what..no one knows) but he is SO BAD & borderline aggressive, but it kills me to know that we will more than likely have to get rid of him. He is still just a puppy, but he doesn't respond to anything which makes it even worse. Any one else gonna have to take this step??

     

    I don't normally post on 2nd tri, but I felt the need to here. You indicated yourself that he is still JUST A PUPPY. Why in the world did you not start him in training classes if he is 'so bad'? If you are still in 2nd tri (I can't see if you have a ticker) then you have time to work with a trainer before a baby gets there.

    IF, this borderline aggression is serious, a trainer will be able to tell you if he/she thinks your dog has the potential to be dangerous around a child.

    But please... do NOT just get rid of the dog because 'it's still a puppy and so bad'.

     

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  • Absolutely not!! My baby and my dogs will learn to co-exist and love each other. That thought has never crossed my mind. Call a trainer and invest time in training your dog before the baby comes!!!
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  • I understand there may be extreme circumstances in which you may have to separate from your pet. This is definetely not one of them.
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  • You need to consult and get assistance form a dog trainer. You made a commitment to this animal by bringing it home. They are no so easily disposable. After seeking professional assistance, if the dog has not shown appropriate improvement, then IMO it is your responsibility to find it a good home.... not drop it off at the pound. These are all the things responsible pet owners do....

  • Your dog looks part mastiff, as a mastiff owner myself, you should have taken that into account when you got the animal. also, mastiff's are big, my dog is 150lbs and weighs more than i do, but we've trained her and walk her daily so she gets her gitters out...sounds like your dog needs more exercise.

     

  • It kills me when people say they need to get rid of their pets because they are having a baby.  It's like you are replacing you pet with your baby.  When we adopted our dog, she was here to stay.  That begin said, we have worked with her to listen to us.  And while she doesn't always listen to my husband, she's a pretty easy going dog.  In addition to training her, making sure she gets enough exercise and stimulation is very important.  We are also working to prep her for our baby, by playing baby crying/screaming sounds, my setting up the nursery and allowing our dog to get used to the changes in the house.  I highly recommend the Babies and Beast blog that was posted by PP.
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  • I went through this with my first son.  We had a boxer and I was so scared that he would hurt the baby.  We ended up giving him to a friend so we still get to see him but he isn't in our house anymore.  Its a hard thing to do!
  • imageMyaMaternity:
    I went through this with my first son.  We had a boxer and I was so scared that he would hurt the baby.  We ended up giving him to a friend so we still get to see him but he isn't in our house anymore.  Its a hard thing to do!

    What the hel! is wrong with you people that you get rid of pets before there is ever actually even cause for concern!?!  You didn't even have a problem you were just "scared" about a problem developing?  How do you FUNCTION in the real world?

    I need to leave, this discussion is turning me into a nasty b!tch.

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  • OP--  What are you referring to to make you say he is "borderline aggressive"?  Lots of people do not understand dogs behavior/body language.  How much excercise is he getting?  Can you give more specifics regarding the problems so we could potentially help with some problem solving?

     Some of these responses are killing me.  Saying "it kills me to do this" just irks me because if that were the case you would keep your animal. There are so many solutions to most of the problems a lot of poster excuses here (hyper, drool, potentially not liking a baby, etc) and it is just laziness or lack of knowledge.  I am hoping in this case it is lack of knowledge and maybe you can get some helpful advice to keep the commitment you signed up for.  Why would you think someone else wants you "bad dog"?  Every 8 seconds a shelter animal is euthanized due to lack of space and homes.  A "borderline aggressive" dog will be harder to place if placed at all.

    Also, if it is "aggressive" and you knowingly give it to someone else, you are responsible if your animal ever injures anyone in that family.

    Please keep the commitment you made to this animal.

     

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  • Sometimes you can try everything and a pet still isn't a good fit for your family. When I was five I got a dog that was black lab, German shepherd, and who knows what else. My family consisted of me, my older sister, two younger brothers, my mom and my dad. We soon discovered that my dog Ivy hated men. She would bark at my father and my brothers. She would get into my baby brothers diapers and tear them up, she would mess around the house, and when I took her out for walks she would drag me across the lawn until I let go of her leash and she could run off. My parents tried crating the dog, they tried sedatives, they tried a trainer, they tried just about everything you could think of, but the dog still displayed the same behaviors. It got worse when my parents began putting an addition on the house and their were men working. It got to the point that she started to nip at my brothers and tried to attack the contractors. We ended up giving up the dog because no matter what we tried we weren't a good fit for her and she wasn't a good fit for us. Sometimes this happens and it's better for everyone including the animal if you accept it and help the pet to find a home that is a better fit.
  • Okay, so it hurts me that you didn't think of the potential issues before getting a dog.  You picked this dog and you decided to get him when the possibility of children was probably on your mind.  That being said, sometimes a dog and a family just aren't a good fit for each other.  It might be better for everyone, including the dog, if he finds a new home.

    I think you should first try to work with a trainer and increase your dogs exercise routine.  A young dog usually needs about an hour of exercise a day - some dogs need more, it depends on the breed and energy level.  If he's not getting this - he's going to act out.

    If you are likely to ignore your dog when the baby comes, then he might be better off in another home.  If he becomes a backyard dog or spends too much time locked in another room or crate, he's just going to develop more issues.

    So I hope you can take the time to ensure that he goes to a good home that is willing to work with him. He might your dog will end up euthanized if you drop him off at a local shelter.

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  • imageMyaMaternity:
    I went through this with my first son.  We had a boxer and I was so scared that he would hurt the baby.  We ended up giving him to a friend so we still get to see him but he isn't in our house anymore.  Its a hard thing to do!

    You were scared, so you gave away an animal that had done absolutely nothing wrong?  WTF is wrong with people?

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  • So what are you going to do when your baby is a PITA? You can't get it to eat or sleep or whatever? You gonna pass it off to someone who is responsible enough to take care of it? You never should have gotten a dog if you weren't going to take care of it. End of story. It's still a PUPPY. Your baby isn't going to come out walking and talking, so don't expect your puppy to magically train itself either. Put some effort into training your dog.

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