OK, TMI question for all you ladies who have given birth (also on FB page)
Davesgrl2011
member
I posted a question on the June Bug facebook page and I am posting it here as well b/c the answers have freaked me out a bit.
I wanted to know what happens after you give birth while you are still at the hospital in terms of nurses and how often they are up in your lady bits. I am a very very private person about my private parts, and although I have handled the internals and am not particularly worried about people seeing my personal region during birth, I am dreading not having any privacy after birth. I don't (think) I will want or need help in bathing, going to the bathroom, or changing my pad. So I hear that (sometimes) the nurses come in every 30 minutes to every shift change to look at your crotch and check for hemmies, that they are involved in your going to the bathroom... basically my worst nightmare. Especially the checking for hemmies part. What does that mean? That you have to spread your legs wide open over and over again for various nurses to look at your butt (not to mention other parts)?
Can't they tell me how to spritz myself and change my pads? Do they have to be in the room? I mean, I got my period when I was 10. I know this is more than a period, but a pad is a pad and a spray bottle is a spray bottle. I know how to use both. Unless I have terrible tearing or something, can I request a little dignity for gads sake?
I know it sounds silly and childish, and that many of you are going to tell me "I just won't care", but the fear of this has been with me before I was pregnant. So yes, I think I will care.
Re: OK, TMI question for all you ladies who have given birth (also on FB page)
Ok, so OB nurses have to check a specific 5 things on a new mom: "4 Bs and an O": Brain (pain), Breasts, Belly, Bottom, and Other. The bottom part is probably what you are worried about. They wont make you get undressed, they will just have you lay on your side and just kind of check "down there" for hemrrhoids and check your stitches if you had any. You will probably be in a gown which will give them easier access, or if you have pj pants on they will pull them down just enough to check. I promise you they do not want to invade your privacy but they HAVE to check to make sure everything is ok down there. It's part of their assessment. This is usually done once a shift...I've never heard of them doing it every 30 minutes. They honestly don't have time for that.
As far as toileting, the first time you get up they will want you to call so someone can help you to the bathroom, you may be a bit woozy....even if you didn't have any drugs. They are going to ask you about having a bowel movement. Its important that you have one before you go home.
For the most part, with the spray bottle and pads, they can just tell you what to do. And if they insist, I would let them know that you prefer just doing it yourself. They are thinking of your safety when doing anything. I hope this helps you. I know you don't want to hear it, but you may have to overcome some of your privacy issues and compromise a bit.
Mine was honestly not that bad at all. With both DS and DD (birth center and hospital births) I had nurses check only a few times overall (both about 30 hour stays), and it barely consisted of them lifting the bedsheet and checking for major bleeding or clots. Mainly they asked how I was doing. I never had them help me with the bathroom, nor insist on a BM before leaving. FWIW, they were both natural births with minimal (1 stitch) to no tearing, and great recoveries.
I understand that it's uncomfortable for you, but I wouldn't stress about it too much. They're just doing their job; it's what they see and do everyday. And it's in your best interest. If DH is there with you surely he could accompany you to the bathroom, etc instead of a nurse if they insist on someone being there. Also, wouldn't the hemmies develop during delivery anyway, so once LOs delivered they'll know about them. Why would they need to check for them every time?
DH: 40 Dx: MFI 6/11
IVF #1: Lupron
I'm much like you; having someone in the bathroom with me would horrify me, and I wouldn't be able to pee. The nurses never came in with me. Even when I went right after DS was born, she just helped me walk to the bathroom and waited outside in case I needed her. Once I got transferred to the mother-baby unit, no one helped with the bathroom, thank God.
The nurses in L&D/mother-baby did check my bleeding level/perineal area (I had some stitches) but it wasn't that often and took about 5 seconds each time. Wearing a nightgown vs. PJ pants makes this super easy. I laid on my side and they just kind of moved my underwear over to peek in.
As with anything else in healthcare, I have found if something feels uncomfortable for you, the nurses are more than happy to make adjustments to help you feel more in control; you just have to ask.
With both mine, they checked once before I was discharged (just a quick peak while I laid on my side). Otherwise just abdomen/uterus checks to make sure that your uterus is shrinking (palpatations from the outside of your stomach only).
Your boobs on the other hand will be man-handled by anyone and everyone if you need help with breastfeeding ;o).
With both of my deliveries, the nurse only went to the bathroom with me right after I gave birth. They didn't really watch or help or anything like that and I think they're just in there to make sure you don't get dizzy and fall down or pass out. The bathroom trip is usually the 1st time you're on your feet after delivery, so they might not let you go to the bathroom by yourself just in case something were to happen to you.
As far as checks go, I was only checked once with DD and twice with DS. They're quick checks, no more than 30 seconds. Most of the time when the nurses come in to check you, they'll just lift up your shirt a little bit and press on your abdomen.
Very helpful answer
The only issue I have is the laying on my side so they can lift my butt cheeks to look at my butt. I plan on wearing pajama pants, so the added indignity of having to pull down my pants so they can do this is just adding to the mortification level for me. I can handle them looking at bleeding levels, my belly, etc, just not this. I honestly don't see what this accomplishes other than dehumanizing you. I will be able to tell myself if I have hemmies, and will ask for help if I need it, but I plan on bringing my own Tucks pads and hemmie cream so that I don't have to ask for help in that department.
I spent a week in the hospital in critical care and had nurses who treated my body like it was public property, and it seriously scarred me for life. I felt completely dehumanized, like I was a machine. I cried every time a nurse came into my room because it was one mortification after another in a situation where I was more than capable of doing certian things for myself. I wasn't allowed to wear anything but a hospital gown, and I remember one time I was trying to sleep when a nurse and a tech came into my room and without addressing me at all whipped off my blanket, yanked my gown aside so that I was completely naked, and started hooking things up to my groin to monitor blood flow. They didn't even shut the door, and the tech was a sullen looking teenager. Since then I was determined to never let anyone take control over my body, and I plan on voicing this as well as having it in writing on my birth plan.
Just so you guys know I am not being a complete baby or prude!