I'm losing my mind. My 3 year old DS's bedtime routine takes about an hour from bathtime to story time. We have always struggled with a routine for him and dcan't get him in bed earlier than 8pm. He is usually asleep by 8:30. DD who is 5 weeks old, starts nodding off around 7:30 but it takes her 30 min or longer to actually go to sleep. I place DD in her carseat so that I can bathe DS and dress him in his PJs. Then, I've tried swaddling her, the infant carrier, feeding her, in order for her to stay calm so that DS can receive attention. None of this has worked, she screams the entire time and then I have a frustrated 3 year old screaming too.
Moms of 2 kids, please share your nighttime routines. I've failed miserably at trying to keep mine calm--at least 1 kid ends up suffering because I can't give them 100% of my attention.
Re: Bedtime issues for preschooler and newborn
I wear DD in the Moby while I'm doing DS's nighttime routine. She usually nods off during bathtime (I think it's the white noise of the running water) and then sleeps through booktime, teeth brushing and putting DS to bed. It works for now (DD is almost 12 weeks), especially since DH works nights and is rarely home to help me out.
I agree that thinking about a change to make things easier for you. Baths don't have to be at night- mornings or afternoons are just fine as well. I also liked a pp suggestion of wearing the baby while you help get your son ready. Having a newborn & a toddler/preschooler can be brutal sometimes- be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can!
First...let go of the 100% of your attention unattainable goal. You really won't be able to easily and that's okay!
I have the same combo and it just got easier recently because my DD now goes to bed at 6:30pm. I let my son watch a show while I bathe, feed, and put her to bed. Takes about 30 mins total....or ONE Octonauts. HA!
In the beginning I was constantly striving for this. I wanted the baby in bed early so that my son got some special attention each night. So I just kept working at putting the baby down earlier and earlier ( forgoing bath alot of the time with the newborn).
And don't worry if your son needs to skip bath once and awhile....just brush teeth, wash face and read books. He'll be fine.
Don't strive for perfection, strive to just get it done!
When DD was very little, I would put her to bed first.
Also, DS has a bedtime routine that has not changed for years. I think you need to pick a routine that lasts no more than 15 minutes, and stick to it. If we don't do baths, his routine is jammies, brush teeth, read one book, lights out. When he was around 2.5, he tried to finagle another story or procrastinate with brushing his teeth, but we didn't change anything and he eventually went right back to what he was used to.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions and encouragement. DH works from 12pm to 11pm, so I'm on my own. I would love to shorten DS's bedtime routine, he has sleep problems and we've been working on bedtime adjustments for over a year--it's an ongoing project. I like the idea of the infant swing, I'll move it upstairs to see if this will work. I'm also going to try having DS watch an episode or two while I try to get DD to sleep. She's still pretty young, but I feel like when we miss that 7:30 window for bedtime, we spend the next 2 1/2 hours trying to get her to sleep.
Once again, thanks for the advice, I will try to stop beating myself up.
We got lucky and DS2 is currently liking his bed time the same time as DS1.
So, on bath nights, we all go upstairs- DS1 gets in the big tub and I sit on the bathroom floor with the baby tub next to me and they both get baths at the same time. Then we move to DS1s room and lay on the floor and do lotion and jammies, brush teeth, etc. If the baby is being cooperative, we'll read a book together. Otherwise, I'll nurse DS2, put him down, then come back to read DS1 his book and give him snuggles.
On non-bath nights, I'll let DS1 stay up and watch a show, get DS2 down and then do DS1s routine- which is jammies, teeth, one book and some cuddles.
It's not super easy with two, but it's bearable. Good luck!