How the Eff do you do it working moms?!?!?!
I was a SAHM for the first year of C's life and I used to think that nothing could be harder than that. Then I went back to work full time and I believe now that nothing can be harder than being a working mom.
It used to be all 3 of us at dinner at 6:30-7:00 then C went to bed around 8:00
Now it's like Cannon can barely stay awake, doesn't want to eat dinner because he is so tired, bath time, and asleep (azzed out tired) and 6:30.
My problem is I now have no idea how to balance everything. Cannon can't wait anymore for all of us to eat together (DH is usually home around 6:00) he basically is a fuss butt from the moment I pick him up until the moment he goes to bed.
Tonight I tried to make chicken pot pie (scratch) but cannon didn't want to wait to eat it, so I tried to give him dinner...he flipped. Only ate some yogurt. Took a bath for 2 min when it's usually much longer and he was passed out by 6:30.
He takes 1 nap at daycare 1 1/2 to 2 hours. That is all they allow.
RimJob: You do not get to answer you are perfect and your baby is too 
Re: How the Eff do you do it working moms?!?!?!
I was the same - home with dd for the first year
its a hard adjustment for sure
first of all - why does daycare limit naps? that seems strange - unless its your request shouldn't they just let him sleep longer if he needs it?
I try to do easy food that I know dd loves on daycare nights because she's tired from the day, and so am I
we do dinner early though - 5ish, and then we start winding down for bed at 6 - in bed to sleep at 6:40 (we get up at 7am)
because the eating schedule at daycare - they eat pretty early 11:30 ish, so even with afternoon snacks she's pretty hungry by 5/5:30
If I was you I'd just adjust to getting him to eat & go to bed earlier then you guys eat after he's in bed - daycare is exhausting for sure
That's pretty much how it goes for us, only I also have a 3 year old...
Caroline is tired during the week and goes from fuss bucket to bed early. It is what it is and it won't always be like this.
And we don't eat together during the week. We get home at 5, I put on Dinosaur Train for my 3 yo, I make the girls a quick dinner, then get them ready for bed. DH and I eat after they are asleep.
It's hard. We've been doing it pretty much since Lo was born. It was much easier when she was younger because she'd take a nap while we were making supper and she'd just have a bottle or baby food. But now we don't get home until 5. Then we have potty time, unpack diaper bag, make dinner, eat, pack lunch, unload/load dishwasher, bath time and bedtime. I try to get her to bed between 6:30-7 but it's usually 8 until we get to it. Then she gets up between 5:30-6 and it's horrible. She screams and cries and hates getting out of bed. It's hard, and in a few weeks we'll add a newborn to the mix.
P.S. I don't make a lot of nice dinners. Meals need to be prepared in under 30mins. The crock pot is an important tool.
Weekdays are hard - We take one day at a time
My Mother in law watches her M-Th, My mom on Fri
Mon/Tue - Abby and I are home by 4, we play, wind down and when DH gets home at 6 we eat, shower, books or tv, bed at 7:30
Wed/Thur - I work from home - DH takes her to his moms by 8, and they are home by 6:15 - same routine, bed at 7:30
Fri - I work from home - long day since my mom watches Abby at our house - I work till 4, then we try to play outside or other activity to wear her out.
Adjusting from 5 days in the office to only 2 days last year has allowed me more time at home to do the things that need to be done and become more organized.
something that has REALLY helped me is having food I've made for dd frozen in portions
then I can pick something out in the morning to defrost during the day, and it only takes a few minutes to reheat it for dinner when she's starving and can not wait!
LO eats dinner before we do- usually by 6, earlier if she needs a bath. Dinners are easy or frozen ahead of time. LO usually eats leftovers, turkey meatballs or cottage cheese for dinner. On bath night one of us cooks while the other does the bath. It's teamwork in this house. It won't work any other way.
I also hired a house cleaner. I cannot do it all. Once I realized that and said it out loud- things got so much easier.
I don't get why they are limiting naps at DCP. If he needs to sleep longer- he needs to freaking sleep.
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
Reese is only at grandmas, and we are usually home by 4. Typically she eats dinner at 5 (she gets the leftovers from the night before). After dinner is bath, playtime, and then a bottle, brushing teeth, books. Many nights she is asleep by 6:15-6:30. We eat dinner after she goes to bed. I can't wait until she stays up late enough to eat as a family.
Everything else is unmanageable, the house always seems to be in constant chaos.
Yes it can be difficult!
DD Is up at 6:30 for breakfast and to go to DC. I pick her up between 5-5:30 and she gets dinner as soon as we get home. So I pretty much always need to have something ready the night before. We dont eat dinner as a family unless we go out to an early dinner on the weekend. Then she gets to play for a little or go straight to bath depending on the night. We read and get ready for bed. She is out by 7 if not a little earlier if she didnt get a full 2 hour nap.
I guess it helps to have the next meal ready, so for dinner I make extra the night before and keep some for her the next night or have stuff ready in the freezer. The only time I make her something is if I got home on the early side. The other thing I really try to do is get as much time I can with her.
Good luck and always plan ahead...
If I were you, I'd try to let go of the from-scratch family dinners for now. Honestly, with everyone's current schedule and DS's early bedtime, it just isn't possible for us all to eat dinner together. I know how important it is for families to spend that time together, but I don't think it is a huge deal if we can't make it happen at this age. When DS gets a little older and stays up later, we'll do that. For now, I feed him early and I sit and talk with him while he eats. Then DH and I eat together after he goes to bed. DS typically eats leftovers from our dinner the night before, but sometimes all he wants is a cup of yogurt and I'm fine with that too. I know that over the course of the day/week he gets plenty to eat, so I don't force it if he is too tired or just not hungry for whatever reason.
Actually, it's kind of nice for DH and I to have those few moments alone too. We rarely get to go out together alone, so we try to make the most of the time we can get.
You just do it because you have to.
Soon you'll find a balance and it will be much, much easier, trust me.
Do you meal plan? That usually helps me.
I also always make more of something so there are leftovers if DD is having a meltdown and won't make it to dinner.
I have lots of easy to get foods for her; fruits, veggies, yogurt, crackers.
DH and I alternate bedtime routines, which includes bath, pjs, books, and snuggles. Whoever is NOT on bedtime duty is on house duty... putting things away, wiping down counters, etc.
It really takes team work to make it. DH has his chores and I have mine. We make sure they are done each night.
Being a mom is tough period; working or not. I see both ends since I'm a teacher and keep DD home when I'm on break.
It's honestly a struggle. We don't do dinner together there's just no way it can happen, DD's starving the moment she and I hit the house and DH doesnt even get home most nights til 7-8pm. Usually he's lucky just to say good night.
I pick up DD from daycare at 5:45-6pm and then we walk home 10-15 minutes. Sometimes if we have a few minutes we will stop at the park and play for 10-20 minutes then we head home. As soon as we get home I tide DD over with a cheese stick or some fresh fruit while I scramble to get her dinner ready. I've learned things like fish are great because they cook super fast in the toaster oven (12-15 minutes) and I tend to use the toaster oven vs the real oven since it pre-heats a lot faster. I also tend to steam a lot of veggies in the microwave. Honestly she also eats a lot of left overs from our dinners the night before since she cant stay up to wait for food to get cooked.
We have realized there is just no way we can do bath time every night if we want any other sort of time with her so we only do it every 2-3 nights. Usually she is eatting around 6:30-6:45 and then as soon as she's done it's strip her down put on PJs, play for 10 minutes, read for a few minutes and then get her to bed between 7:30-8 at the latest.
You have to realize honestly that unless you hire a maid you are never going to have a spotless or hell even half the time clean house, that laundry will always be piling up and you cant make super fantastic meals anymore (at least during the week) since you are only one person and your priority has to be feed and take care of your kid. You do the best you can and hope it's good enough and try not to let the mommy guilt get to you.
It is hard...I still wish I had 5 minutes to sit down and relax when I get home from work. Depending on which shift I work, I sometimes don't get home until 6:30 and dinner for us is at 7. So those days, I rush home, cook dinner, feed them, bathe them then get them to bed. Doesn't really help that DH works 12 hour shifts so is usually not home for dinner or bath/bedtime.
We have a lot of frozen meals, either cooked beforehand or just store bought. If I do cook from scratch, it's a lot of simple, one dish meals. Fried rice, soup, mac n' cheese, etc. On really exhausting days, I do breakfast for dinner...waffles and eggs with some fruit. And if I'm REALLY tired, I just grab dinner to go from one of the restaurants near my train station, but I don't do that too often.
I limit my sitter to 2 TV shows while she's home with them...and I usually end up letting them watch 1 more while I'm preparing dinner. Then I get my snuggle time in while they are drinking their milk after dinner.
Usually I pick DD up around 5:30, have dinner at 6, bath shortly after, and she's in bed by 7.
I'm also in school, so two nights a week I don't see her at all. This week is especially fun because I have 2 exams and have spent every single night at school. I saw her for 20 minutes today while I was studying and then DH took her out so she wouldn't bother me
That's the longest stretch I have had with her all week. It blows.
m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
My boobies belong to cour10e
I am in the exact same situation. DD only gets 1 nap time at daycare and usually only sleeps for about an hour. The past few weeks I have been putting her down for a nap as soon as we get home at about 4:30 and she naps for about an hour. She is still a bit cranky but is a lot better then she was. I will also make meals like shepards pie, or stew on the weekend and freeze the leftovers in single portion sizes for LO for dinners during the week. I can pull them out of the freezer and defrost while she is napping and then it is ready for when she is awake and STARVING!
DH works 2nd shift so sometimes he will get something ready for us in the crockpot (not too often lately unless I ask
). And not having any help in the evenings makes it even more hectic.
It's tough. I didn't think it was TOO bad before, but I got a new job 6 weeks ago, and now I'm home a good 30m later, putting me back around 5:45 or so, and we used to eat at 6:00.
I still make meals from scratch but I make really quick stuff during the week (I have a blog in my sig, and I just made a quick and easy category - largely to help myself, lol) - things like a pasta dish where the rest of the dish comes together as the pasta is cooking, or a crockpot meal, etc. On Sundays, I tend to do some prep and also pretty much make all of Monday's meal - so I make sure Monday's meal is something that can be reheated (like a potpie would totally work; I normally do some sort of baked pasta or something similar and DH throws it in when he gets home, about 20m before me). Meal planning is a huge help.
DH and I also alternate bedtime routines, which helps.
DD has only one nap at daycare too and she is out by 7pm. At least for us, we're both home by 5 and we try to have supper by 5:30-6, then play for maybe 20 minutes before bath and bed. Neither of us actually want supper that early but we do it for DD. A few nights a week DH has sports so he doesn't eat with us. It's not ideal, but can you eat without DH? Or at least get LO started and wait to eat yourself until your DH gets home? I also try to make things that a pretty quick, and make as much ahead as possible, so DD doesn't have to wait for an hour while I cook.
ETA: Also, we just got a housekeeper. It's awesome.
And, quick meals don't have to be processed junk. It takes 20 minutes to prepare and grill some meat and veggies. Also, when DH and I want to eat something nice in peace, we give DD something easy like mac & cheese and wait until she goes to bed to enjoy our dinner.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
I've been working since DD was about 4 months old so I'm just used to it, but I will say that she went through a phase around your LO's age where she absolutely HAD to be in bed by 6:30. It was insane. It didn't last but for about a month though and then she was back to pushing her bedtime to 7:30 - 8:30, which is where we're at now.
DD is not in daycare, my mom and MIL keep her while I work, but she only takes one nap a day there (not for lack of trying on their part) and it's usually about 2 hours long.
I almost never cook because my husband works almost every evening. I give DD stuff like spaghetti o's, mac n cheese, lunch meat, frozen veggies, fresh fruit, frozen waffles, scrambled eggs, veggie chips with hummus, pb&j. I also meal plan on Sundays and try to grocery shop over the weekend, too. Sometimes, though, I end up having to drag DD to the store with me after work on Mondays.
She goes to bed late, I usually start bedtime at 8-8:30 and she's asleep by 9-9:30. She sleeps til 7 or so and gets a total of about 3 hours worth of naps during the day. She does not bathe daily. I guess I'll end up giving her a bath once a week before bed, and other than that my DH will bathe her once or twice on the days he's home with her.
My house is a mess, it's not even worth trying. During the week I do only things that MUST be done, like cleaning up food messes. We live out of laundry baskets. I delegate a lot of household tasks that must be done to my DH, too. If you can afford a cleaning lady I would highly recommend it, if not, you just have to let it go for awhile.
Also, on recommendation of another working mom, I recently started showering at night after DD goes to bed. I don't love it, but it does give me enough extra time in the morning to be worth it.
Mac and cheese lover!
I just don't make nice dinners during the week! Ha, ha. When we get home, I go for a 4 mile walk or run with LO in the jogging stroller
Then I feed her dinner and usually DH comes home at around 6. We play with her together, give her a bath and get ready for bed. One of us puts her to bed by 7:30 and we're done.
Then DH and I shower, make something to eat and hang out together. I make working out a bit and hanging with DD the priorities when I get home. Everything else can wait.
p.s. I don't clean at all. We hire people to do that for us.
Exact same here.
As others have said - it's been a month. The first few months are hard because you're figuring out your schedule and you and your family need time to adjust.
Being a working mom is definately time consuming. I went back to work after DD was 10 weeks old and I think it took me about 3 months or so to feel like I could start to balance BFing, work, taking care of her, fixing dinner, etc. But our schedules are packed during the week. You'll get used to it.
DD has always gone to bed around 7 and DH and I always eat dinner around 8. The one thing we try to do when we feed DD her dinner is to make sure we're with her - sitting at the table - talking (we want to make sure dinner time is the one guaranteed time that we have family time during the week).
Best advice - try to follow your kids schedule for now and push it around bit by bit so that it fits better into your family's schedule (often easier said than done). And don't beat yourself up over it (also easier said than done). You're doing fine mama! Just give yourself a chance to adjust
I think the key to our schedule is in home child care. We have an au pair (supplemented by some time with my MIL). That means no packing for or picking up from daycare. The au pair does his laundry, gives him baths, and keeps his room clean. Since its one-on-one care, he still takes 2 naps most days and we're able to have dinner together around 7, play a little, then bed around 8:30. My husband and I share dinner duty but its nothing fancy during the week and we always keep some frozen stuff and the pizza guy's number on hand. We also have a cleaning service that comes every other week to take care of the heavy lifting there.
Oh rim you are such a good mommy. Mother of the year quality!!
And your perfect child is beautiful. I love her coat!!!!
It takes some time to get into a working mom schedule. I think I had a phase like this when I had been back at work for 1-2 months where I felt like I should have everything together by now, but I didn't. It got better though.
I was unwilling to give up on home-cooked meals. So now I obsessively use the crockpot. It's seriously been a lifesaver. And it doesn't have to be unhealthy, cream of soup crap either. Check out this website: https://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2007/12/alphabetical-listing-of-recipes.html
There's actually a surprisingly good chicken pot pie recipe for the crockpot :-)
I second what PP said about getting a cleaning person to come once a week or so. We can't afford it right now, so we don't have one, but when my salary increases (which should happen this summer) we are getting one. I mention it to my husband often :-)
BFP#2: EDD 2/11/14, MMC confirmed 7/15/13 (growth stopped at 6 weeks), D&C @ 12 weeks 7/25/13
It's tough. I was at home with DD for the first year, and while I found the lack of 'me' time hard sometimes, the house was always clean and I had time to plan nice meals for us, stay on top of emailing pictures of DD to family etc. (We live across the country from all our family.)
Now that I'm back at work it seems like I do the bare minimum. We have a housekeeper who comes once a week which is a LIFESAVER. I can not imagine adding cleaning the bathtubs and toilets to the insane list of 'to do' I always have going.
I try to use the crockpot as much as possible and while I don't LIKE using jarred sauces full of preservatives and sugar, having dinner ready and waiting when I come home from work trumps all. I have 3-4 crockpot recipes that can be thrown into the pot in the morning without browning anything, using frozen meat so as long as I keep some staples on hand, I always have something to make for dinner. Sure, it gets boring eating the same stuff, but meh. DH knows if he complained about it I would stop cooking altogether and we'd be paying a fortune to the pizza delivery guy.
I don't clean up toys until after DD is in bed (8ish) and DH and I have a 10 minute policy. We tidy for 10 minutes and that's it. We relax after that.
We try to only do one 'home' project per weekend (stuff like organizing the laundry room, or planting the garden etc.) and the rest of the time we try to enjoy with DD, even if that means something doesn't get done right away.
It's a struggle and a balancing act and sometimes I get severe anxiety about stuff and need to take 'sick' days to clean out my linen closet... but hey, you do what you gotta do, right?
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
I didn't read the other responses.
Around a year DS started taking one nap at school. He would usually fall asleep on the way home and I would let him sleep until dinner time (about a 30 minute nap). We would eat together, bath, play time, in bed by 8 or 8:30. Now he doesn't need that second short nap after school so we play until dinner and do the cycle.
Sorry didn't read the other posts...
First, I don't understand the nap thing, I think that is your biggest problem. I would talk to the DCP or find a new one. Your LO is still young enough to maybe even want two naps, and at that age T was napping for about 3 hours a day.
As to dinner, basically it sucks. T goes to bed at 7 so dinner is at 5:30. I'm not really keen on eating that early and DH is sometimes home, sometimes not, but we don't have much choice. I'm fortunate to only go into the office 2 days a week, so those are my 2 10.5 hour days, and there is no way I could make dinner on those days. We are lucky to get home by 5:30 and it is a quick reheat and eat. I generally make two big things on the weekend (spaghetti, shepards pie, meatloaf etc.) and we eat those for about 3 days plus a lunch or so. Or I do a crockpot meal. I have found that snacks help. If I'm running a bit late I let T snack on the way home, it really helps the meltdowns.
I hate only having about an hour and half with T at night, but I have a good chunk of time before bed to get things prepped for the next day. It is the best you can do.
It's definitely not easy. Between my commute, daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, and work itself, I'm gone 50 hrs/week. Here's my daily routine:
6 am - wake up, get myself ready
6:30 - wake Colin up, get him dressed, feed him a quick breakfast
7 - out the door; drop C off at daycare, get to work by 8
5:15 - pick C up from daycare, head home
5:30 - feed C dinner, make something for us to eat (usually something that takes under 30 mins to prepare), play with C, watch a tv show or 2
7:30 - bath & bed for C
8:30/9 - take a shower, get stuff ready for next work day.
Sometimes I hate that every day for us is basically the same. I LIVE for the weekend.
To me it sounds like he's just not getting a long enough nap. Can you see if there is any way daycare can make an exception? For the bulk of Gage's 2nd year he was napping anywhere from 1.5-3 hours and sleeping 12 hours at night. He's jsut now started cutting back to 1-1.5 hour naps now that he's almost 2.
I agree it's really hard. There are some days I only see Gage for maybe one hour total and the guilt is awful.
It is exhausting. I work FT and my husband is currently SAH and going to college classes 3 nights a week. I went back to work when LO was 3.5 months old, and my husband started SAH with LO a couple months after that because financially it made more sense for us right now then paying for FT daycare with how much he was making.
Pretty much we only all eat together on the weekends, the other three days that I get off work at 6pm my husband feeds LO at around 6, then I get home then its pjs play, bath and bed by 8pm. Then my husband gets home and we have dinner together at 9-10pm (this sucks btw and most of the time I end up eating alone before that). The other two days I work till 9pm my husband does it alone and I get home around 930 and then we have dinner. Pretty much saturday sunday and mondays is the only time I eat dinner like a normal person with my family. ugh. Anyway, once your in a routine it gets better.
I know if LO doesnt take a long enough nap during the day he is rubbing his eyes by 5pm for bed, those nights we rush a quick dinner on him and he is in bed by 7pm instead of 8pm.