Trouble TTC

A little disappointed

I have to say I am a little disappointed in the comments I had been getting on some of my posts.  I deleted them now, however I think it is unfair for judgement on my relationship with the age gap of myself and my husband.  I also think it is unfair for others to judge what they think I know and need to learn more about.  I have been at this for a year and I came here looking for support and advice, instead I was given judgement and ridicule.  Needless to say I will not be posting here anymore.  Sad
Cait Me (22) No children DH (31) No children TTC 12+ months

Re: A little disappointed

  • I'm sorry you had this outcome from posting. I haven't seen yours but I've seen some conversations on other boards and it's quite disturbing. *hugs* I believe love is love and nothing else matters! Besides this... EVERY ONE OF US comes here looking for support not an argument. We come here for acceptance and encouragement for what every one of us is dealing with in our lives. Trollers who come on should be banned if they can't do right in my opinion. I also think if they really feel they do need to take care of something it needs to be done differently and somewhere else. In most cases, it's something small and ridiculous, thus, trolling. I believe none of us have just graduated from the 2nd grade and should know better. (i.e. you would not go to an AA meeting where everyone argued, you would not go to a psychiatrist who always contradicted you and judged you) so it's quite counterproductive for these people to do these things.

    I do not always agree with things people say or the way they are, but, one thing I've learned in life is, it's not your business to judge or decide for them. The few rude words or fights you can participate in will not change them or do anything. Just encourage people and remember one of my favorite sayings.....

    "Be kind to everyone, because everyone

    is having a rough time" -Jack Hyles

     

    My prayers go out to you that you will continue to seek encouragement from this board, at least for the sake of people like me, who crave yours! <3<3<3

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  • THANK YOU!  so much for your kind words.  I do wish that people could be like you and show that we are all here for the same outcome.  you do give me hope and i feel much more support with words from that.  thank you for the encouragement.
    Cait Me (22) No children DH (31) No children TTC 12+ months
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  • I don't really know the posts that you a referring to, but keep in mind that this is an internet message board.  You are not going to like what everyone has to say and most of us here are just brutally honest.  It is optional for you to post here so if you think the girls are b!tchy, there are lots of other sites you can try.

     A lot of the women on this board have been posting here for a long time, so a post saying that everyone is being mean to you is not really going to get people to change what they are doing.  You are new, we don't know you...if you choose to stick around and people get to know you then you might find the support you are looking for.  GL

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  • Yes, I made a comment. I'm not sure if others did as well, but I'm assuming a few may have based on your post. Since you deleted (highly frowned upon), I have no idea if something worse was said or if you are just very sensitive.

    There was a thread not that long ago (a few weeks maybe?) discussing age gaps. There were several bumpies who discussed their own age gaps and the general consensus was as you get older, age gaps don't matter because you're in the same life stage once you hit middle age. That's just how it's perceived in society, like it or not.

    The fact is, age 22 and age 31 are not the same life stage, so you're going to get some side eyes until you're older. It's doesnt matter if you're really mature or he's immature. I'm 23, so I get the whole being young and ready for a baby. I dated MH for 4 years before marrying and was married after graduating college. I just can't imagine having dated long enough to get married, then have been TTC for a year at age 22 with a 31 year old. I'm sure you face judgement IRL and with your choices, that's something you should expect to be up against.

    Anyway, I'm sorry that my post offended you.

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  • imagefreckledladybug:

    I'm sorry you had this outcome from posting. I haven't seen yours but I've seen some conversations on other boards and it's quite disturbing. *hugs* I believe love is love and nothing else matters! Besides this... EVERY ONE OF US comes here looking for support not an argument. We come here for acceptance and encouragement for what every one of us is dealing with in our lives. Trollers who come on should be banned if they can't do right in my opinion. I also think if they really feel they do need to take care of something it needs to be done differently and somewhere else. In most cases, it's something small and ridiculous, thus, trolling. I believe none of us have just graduated from the 2nd grade and should know better. (i.e. you would not go to an AA meeting where everyone argued, you would not go to a psychiatrist who always contradicted you and judged you) so it's quite counterproductive for these people to do these things.

    I do not always agree with things people say or the way they are, but, one thing I've learned in life is, it's not your business to judge or decide for them. The few rude words or fights you can participate in will not change them or do anything. Just encourage people and remember one of my favorite sayings.....

    "Be kind to everyone, because everyone

    is having a rough time" -Jack Hyles

     

    My prayers go out to you that you will continue to seek encouragement from this board, at least for the sake of people like me, who crave yours! <3<3<3

    image

    imageimage. image 

    || 4 years TTC, 2 M/Cs image 4 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF || 

    || DIA brought us our beautiful daughter || 

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  • imagetombomb84:

    I don't really know the posts that you a referring to, but keep in mind that this is an internet message board.  You are not going to like what everyone has to say and most of us here are just brutally honest.  It is optional for you to post here so if you think the girls are b!tchy, there are lots of other sites you can try.

     A lot of the women on this board have been posting here for a long time, so a post saying that everyone is being mean to you is not really going to get people to change what they are doing.  You are new, we don't know you...if you choose to stick around and people get to know you then you might find the support you are looking for.  GL

     

    I also don't know what post you are referring to but this really is an internet message board.  With people that voice their opinions freely and frequently.  And as I am sure you know sometimes things people write have a different tone and meaning versus the same thing being verbalized.   Either way it is your life live it and don't ask us for approval of your lifestyle and don't be upset when someone disagrees because everyone is different.

    Me- 37, DH- 32. TTC- June 2010- Adoption journey started April 2012 image
  • I actually commented on that post, and I could care less about age differences because dh and I are several years apart.

     I do however agree that this is a public message board and you can't take things so personal.  I'm sure you have gotten people saying things in real life about your husband and yours age so why would you post it here without thinking you were going to get some negative comments? 

    I think it's dumb that you are "leaving" the boards because of a few commens about your age, this is a great board with very supportive women.

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  • imageMsGMChick:
    imagefreckledladybug:

    I'm sorry you had this outcome from posting. I haven't seen yours but I've seen some conversations on other boards and it's quite disturbing. *hugs* I believe love is love and nothing else matters! Besides this... EVERY ONE OF US comes here looking for support not an argument. We come here for acceptance and encouragement for what every one of us is dealing with in our lives. Trollers who come on should be banned if they can't do right in my opinion. I also think if they really feel they do need to take care of something it needs to be done differently and somewhere else. In most cases, it's something small and ridiculous, thus, trolling. I believe none of us have just graduated from the 2nd grade and should know better. (i.e. you would not go to an AA meeting where everyone argued, you would not go to a psychiatrist who always contradicted you and judged you) so it's quite counterproductive for these people to do these things.

    I do not always agree with things people say or the way they are, but, one thing I've learned in life is, it's not your business to judge or decide for them. The few rude words or fights you can participate in will not change them or do anything. Just encourage people and remember one of my favorite sayings.....

    "Be kind to everyone, because everyone

    is having a rough time" -Jack Hyles

     

    My prayers go out to you that you will continue to seek encouragement from this board, at least for the sake of people like me, who crave yours! <3<3<3

    image

    image

     LOL I can has cheezburger! <3

     image

     

     image

     

    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
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