Multiples
Thoughts on separating 18mos old at daycare?
We're starting the kids in daycare soon, they are 18mos now, but Finn is still crawling due to some muscle tone issues (he's getting PT now).
One that we're looking at that has a great reputation only has openings for 1 kid per classroom, meaning they would be separated.
I'm fine with them being separated when they go to school, but they seem so little, and Finn will be the youngest in the class and probably the only crawler.
Thoughts?
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Re: Thoughts on separating 18mos old at daycare?
I would personally not be comfortable separating them at that age.
I wouldn't seperate them...but I don't think it would be a bad thing, I just wouldn't be comfortable.
I would let them know you would prefer them in the same room and ask about a waitlist or what options there would be...GL!
Sorry, I won't be able to do it. The only thing that stops me from having a breakdown everyday is the thought, well, at least they have each other.
Can they not move another singleton child?!?
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
Completely agree. I'd cry if they didn't have one another. I won't separate them until Kindergarten.
My twins are best friends, they're normally with one another. I personally wouldn't be comfortable separating them. I've actually already called their elementary school to see what their policy is. I want my kids together until one of them decides they want to separate.
I agree that they should move a singleton or wait list for another opening. Mine had to be separated for about 2m every Sunday at one church we went to because one was crawling and the other was walking, I hated that and it was just 2 hours per week.
would he be able to move up soon? At that age it wouldn't have been a huge deal to have them separate- but since 2yo they would not do well separate- they LOVE each other now and play together a lot - and it's great having them together in class- they stick up for each other, etc. I'm actually having a hard time now with the idea of separating them in K , which i had always planned to do, but now it's gonna be a hard choice.
they play great with other kids - so it's not like they are on their own doing their own thing, which would make me want to split them- it's how Gibby protects Gray and vice versa - they love being together.
so... if it would just be for a few months i'd do it- but otherwise no way.
Haven - my kids have been in a center setting for a LONG time and the teachers always remark how they are so different in their interests, activity level, etc. For a while I was really worried that they didn't have enough of a bond.
But they do freak out on the rare occasion where I've kept one home for sickness and sent the other one. He always seems more timid and less confident. And the teachers have just started to report that while they are playing independently, if one starts crying, the other one always comes running. Cue melting mommy!
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
Is it really that bad? I'm curious. I've had several sets of twin friends, and the ones who weren't separated were always weirder and had issues even through adulthood about being apart from eachother. Both sets were ID, so I'm not sure if that has any effect.
My twins are with eachother throughout most of the day, but I personally want them to have some separate time from eachother. I don't want them to have anxiety attacks and be non-functional when the other twin isn't around. To me that isn't healthy. I occasionally take out each twin separately, or if a twin is sick, I'll keep only 1 at home and take the other to daycare. I like that they can be independent from eachother Plus get the one on one attention from me. Not sure what others think. But everyone on here seemed to freak out at the thought of you separating your twins, why is that? Granted mine are only 7.5m old, so I could be wrong.
My DD just started crawling the other day, and they put the movers and crawlers on the other side of the room (it's divided by a gate). I don't think I'll have a problem with it, when they decide to move them.
I think it's fine. Mine are together all the time, and I think it's good for them to do things separately sometimes and have separate identities. I can see other posters' points about it being comforting that they're together, because I have felt that too. Still, I've done the same as google123 and take them out separately and their dad and I sometimes split them up to run errands. They always do fine. Also, when one is sick and stays home with me from daycare, I send the other in. No point in both being home. They never have a problem being dropped off without the other, and according to the daycare workers, they're very comfortable by themselves. I think it's beneficial.
Also, I don't think it's fair to insist on a daycare switching another child into another classroom just so that twins can be together. How would we feel if a daycare said they were moving our twins to another room to make room for other kids? I doubt anyone would be too happy to move their children to another room unnecessarily once they're happy and content in their daycare room. Stability is obviously an important thing in the toddler years.
Personally, I think that as parents of twins, we tend to put more pressure on the need for them to stay together than they would if they had the choice. It comforts us, but shouldn't it be more important that they learn independence and to be strong just the same as we would if they were a singleton?
I am with you. Granted my boys are only 2 months but I also have a 9 year old. I understood with him, a lot of what I thought he was going to feel and experience about going to daycare, were really my feelings about what I thought. I don't think I would mind the boys being separated. It is going to happen at some point, and I think I would rather them understand they can be apart at 18 months, then something more drastic like the first time they are apart, is kindergarden. That is an entire issue itself, imagine throwing in being pulled away from your twin then.
I am planning on returning to work when the boys are 18 months, so I found everyones responses helpful, I just noticed some were saying I couldn't do it. Its amazing what our kids are able to handle when we think they can't.
Also, how fair is that to take a singleton out of the classroom they are in, to make room for a twin? If you were the parent of that single child, how would that make you feel about that daycare?
Because starting daycare is a big change already, I wouldn't want to separate them for that transition. Perhaps later on.
Mine are in the same classroom (have been since 5 months old) but often they'll move one to the other toddler room that they interact with a lot for whatever reason on any given day. They do fine, otherwise the teachers wouldn't do it, and I like that they're independent enough of each other to do so. However, I do find comfort, and am sure the kids do as well, in them being with each other most of the time.
Good to know. I'll have to read up on this...