Disgusted by pregnancy.... (long vent)
The new receptionist at my salon my possibly be one of the most ignorant people I have ever met........... I have had time to vent to my friends and family but I feel like only pregnant women will be as outraged as me.
Yesterday I was sitting by the new receptionist talking to a fellow coworker about my pregnancy. I was lightly poking my tummy trying to get LO to wiggle so I could feel some kicks. (I had not felt any in awhile) When my new receptionist looks at me and says " Will you please stop it's disgusting me!" I looked at her and said " What is?" I stare at her in SHOCK when she replies " your tummy, It is going to make me sick" I couldnt believe it. She proceeds to go on and on about how my belly disgusts her. How she will never get pregnant because she cant stand the thought and that me talking about pregnancy is grossing her out. I couldnt believe it. I understand not everyone likes pregnancy or pregnant people, but please keep your opinions to yourself. She has only worked at the salon a week, doesnt know the dynamic of the place, and pissed off a senior stylist.
When I confronted my owner about it, she stuck up for her. Saying "she is new and I dont think she meant it like that" I couldnt believe it. I fumed and sat on it. I decided maybe my crazy hormones got the best of my temper and I would leave it alone. My biggest concern is that she will say something ignorant and outrageous to a client if she said something like that to a coworker! OK I'm done, typing things down does make me feel much better!
Re: Disgusted by pregnancy.... (long vent)
Not how she meant it? Um, yes, that's how she meant it.
Knowing how she feels, maybe talk about it less when you're directly near her, but she was WAY out of line. People get pregnant. People are excited about babies. It's not like you were talking about bathroom issues or what you found in your puke right? Ugh.
That is exactly what I thought when I read this too! Except in my mind it went like this: I would have stood up, grabbed my belly swayed it around in BIG circles and said "Well, your face makes me sick"
Too much???
I was talking about movement and how I was getting a 3D sono today. Happy Conversation. lol I think from now on I will wear tight shirts and constantly rub on my belly just to make her uncomfortable. I bet everyone at the salon that she doesnt last another week!
"I'm sorry my belly disgusts you, but your face has disgusted me since the day you got here and I have managed to keep my mouth shut."
The end
DO IT!! And keep us posted I want to know what happens to that idiot!
They may be few and bar between, but people like that are real. I once had a coworker who admitted that pregnant women in general are "gross" to her. She wasn't able to elaborate why or how exactly she felt that way just that she couldn't stand it for some reason. I've read that some people have similar aversions to breast-feeding but it's usually caused by something such as poor body image or some act of abuse in their past.
But that lady was special in a number of ways. She refused to let anyone stick her with any type of needle. She told me that instead of getting her blood drawn to check on a particular problem, her doctor would order her to have to really expensive (like thousands of dollars) procedure that checked the same problem but without a needle or blood. I asked her if she cared that her insurance was having to foot such an extraordinary bill just because she didn't like needles and she said that as long as they covered it she didn't care in the slightest because she was getting her way.
Ooooh I'd have deliberately aimed some vomit (caused by my disgusting pregnancy) her way.
That's just beyond rude. To ask you to stop because it "makes her feel uncomfortable" would have been bad enough (but would have been a far better approach), but to go on and on about how she's never going to have kids blah blah blah? She may not have outright been calling you disgusting, but I don't see how she could be so dense as to not see that it's offensive. I mean, say she had purple hair. If you started harping on about how ugly purple hair is, I bet you she'd start feeling ugly herself.
Certain things disgust certain people. Some things are acceptable to speak up about. If someone's kid was chewing their toenails at the table opposite you in a restaurant, by all means speak up. To tell someone that their physical condition disgusts you? That's absolutely awful. If you were disabled and she told you your amputated arm was disgusting her, you'd have a lawsuit on your hands. I would write a formal complaint letter to the owner, pointing out how damned wrong that stupid employee was, and be sure to point out that she was wrong too for not taking it seriously. I would never go back there again, and make that clear in your letter (so dumb *** doesn't think you're staying away because, y'know, it just wouldn't be fair on her for you to show your pregnant face there again).
Uuuugh I'm furious for you now!
That is so ridiculously gross! What a b****!!! Hopefully, your boss will open her eyes to how ignorant and rude she is and gets rid of her.
Definitely don't try to hide that beautiful belly! Show it off to piss her off.
" I find your attitude to my pregnancy disgusting, and would appreciate you keep such negative comment's to yourself"
Done.
That was so mean of her. If she didn't like it she can turn away. If she had to say something, she could've been more sensitive about it. She could've just said it makes her uncomfortable and she'd appreciate if you didn't do that around her (only because I wasn't there and don't really know what/how you were poking or exposing your tummy).
What I don't like to see pregnant or not is other womens' boobs while they're breastfeeding. I'm going to breastfeed, but I'm not going to flash my ginormous black nipples at strangers because "breastfeeding is so beautiful". It's a beautiful experience between mom and baby, not mom and public, so I do think women should do it as discreetly as possible with a cover or in a nursing stall. That's my pregnancy pet peeve. Personally, I wouldn't want to show my pregnant belly to anyone or let anyone touch it either. Anyway, she didn't have to be that rude or mean and sorry she hurt your feelings.
I wish I was this quick with a comeback. Awesome.
WOW, I read your first post wrong. I thought you meant 'your' salon as in the one you regularly go to. Do you mean you work there, with this woman? If so, definitely speak up to the owner/manager. She needs to (wo)man up and deal with it: she's going to be working alongside you, so she needs to learn to either not be 'disgusted' by pregnancy in the first place, or to put it aside. Plus, it will come up again. People love to make small talk in salons and people love to talk about babies. I'd be surprised if you're not being asked a baby question at least once a day. What are you supposed to do, tell your customers "I appreciate you being so friendly, but my colleage doesn't like it when I talk about this wonderful experience" ?
I am so, so surprised that the owner was alright with what she said. If for no other reason, she had to have offended some customers, and maybe even lost you some business ("Oh, I HAVE to recommend this place to my SIL... Wait, she's pregnant, better not").
I gotta tell ya that while the cover sounds great, it doesn't always work out like that. My son would absolutely not stand for a cover. If I tried he would break his latch, flail and scream, and yank the cover off... exposing me for an extended period of time and drawing attention to us. Then I would have to try to get him re-latched, now with him hungry AND angry. I'm wasn't trying to "flash my nipples" at people, or "share the breastfeeding experience" with the public, I was just trying to feed my baby as best as I could. Nursing stalls are not common where I live either, so that is very rarely practical. (Although, nice when it happens as I then have clean, quiet room to nurse in.)
I did want to tell you though, that if you wind up with a baby that doesn't want to be covered while eating, there is a way to nurse discretely without a cover. I always used my bella bands under my shirts so I could lift my shirt from the bottom. The band covered my tummy, my son's head covered the majority of my breast, and my bunched up shirt covered the rest of my breast down to my sons mouth. Of course, when he was first born and each breast was approximately twice the size of his head (no joke!) I was screwed and just had to find a quiet room to feed him in. But at that point, we both needed that quiet room.