Need advice
Hi everyone,
I haven't been on this here much this pregnancy( I am 35 weeks with baby #2) but needed advice on an issue.
My SIL, that I am not that close to, sent me a message today asking if I would like to use her frozen breast milk and if I would that she would keep pumping and giving it to me so that my baby could get the antibodies out of the milk. I beleive that how you feed your child is very personal and for a number of reasons I will be formula feeding for this baby as well. I do not feel ashamed to formula feed and don't feel that I should. However my SIL has been rubbing it in my face about how much better breast feeding is since she gave birth to her daughter and I feel this is just another thing to help her feel superior.
My husband thinks I should just say no thanks, but I don't think that is enough. I am truly hurt by her doing this. I feel that she is saying something about my parenting. I am a good mother and don't feel like I am hurting my children by formula feeding. Any ideas of how I should handle this without causing a huge feud? Because honestly right now my husband is having to keep me from making the 2 hour drive to her house to smack her:-)
Sorry this is so long but I appreciate any advice:-)
Re: Need advice
wow, that's really nice of her to offer. to some people breast milk is like gold! i agree it's a personal decision, but it shouldn't offend you that she offered to give you her frozen milk.
*i don't agree with rubbing it in anyone's face, but i think there are very strong opinions on both sides of the fence with bm or formula feeding. no one should feel bad about their choice and i think generally those who breast feed encourage others to do it too. i nursed with my son and do think it's more healthy, but i would never push it on someone else who chooses not to.
this is what i would say to her:
it was very nice for you to offer, but we have decided to formula feed our child. since you have extra milk you should look into donating it to a milk bank where there are other mom's who are interested and want breast milk. thanks again for the offer, but this is not something i'm interested in.
ha ha, just might consider that:-)
What she said! Breastfeeding isn't for everyone and there should be no shame in formula feeding!
I would tell her a much more specific illness you could get from improperly thawed breast milk. However I'd say "Sorry, I don't want my child drinking another animals breast milk. It just weirds me out."