Has this happened to anyone else in public places.
cmurphy09
member
People tend to think I look young for my age, some think I still pass as a Junior in HS & follow by saying how 'I'm lucky for my age' (w/e that means). Which, however, is okay in some aspects but can be a pain in the rear.
For Instance, what should have been a fun, memorable outing of maternity shopping w/ Hubby this past weekend... Turned into one of the most awkward experiences yet...
Here goes:
My husband & I were shopping for a belly band & maternity tops. While doing so, got some of the rudest looks along with throat clearings I've ever encountered (which I shot right back with my own exaggerated version of said persons throat clearing just to show how ridiculous & rude it looks)...
It's like c'mon ppl, give it a rest, turn off the soap/lifetime movies inside your head, act like a mature adult & keep your subtle opinions (which you're entitled to) to yourself. Now even if I were a 'teen mom', there's no sense in being rude to a perfect stranger - especially when you don't know the situation. Not all teen mothers are stereotype cast members from teen mom or some lifetime drama involving teen mothers... In fact, I've worked with plenty of women who were 'teen mothers' & built an excellent career & life for themselves. So put the stereotypes to rest...
But anyway, the fact I'm a grown woman in my mid to late 20's, 'look lucky for my age' (as some would put it), which I very well deserve after the awkward teen phase I went through
, validates why ppl need to mind their own damn business & how snap judgements of a person you don't even know make you look like an ignorant jackrabbit.
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Re: Has this happened to anyone else in public places.
Okay now I want to see a picture of you! Btw, sorry you had to deal with a$$hat people.
Ditto
Ha - perhaps but she made sure to get my attn... I'll leave it at that... Everyone has babies at diff ages. But I'm not sure what drinking 21 y/o have to do with my situation? Although the looks I got buying an occasional bottle of wine prior to preggo times were a hoot! Making sure my ID flickered properly in the store light, LoL, good times, ha.
Ha. Ppl are weird. You think the wedding band would say it all... My MIL got her nursing degree @ 54, no one gave her weird looks when she walked up to get her diploma. I don't get the dbl standard, sigh...
I am 18, and I am expecting my first child so I actually get this very frequently and it is very annoying.
Nobody bothers to ask that I already have an Associate's Degree and I am in my 3rd year toward a Bachelor's already for Nursing. And nobody bother's to ask if I am already happily married (for 2 years) and financially stable.
I am all of those things, but I still get the dirty looks as if just because I am only 18 I won't be able to be a good mother or something.
I actually went maternity shopping yesterday and got maternity pants, a few shirts, and a cardigan. And the entire time the older mother's in the section were eyeballing me and looking at me rudely.
I was extremely annoyed and I felt very offended but I ignored it. I get looks anywhere I go and people look at my husband as if we are both irresponsible and he is the spawn of the devil or something.
I hate the way people have a stereotype against young mother's. As old as they are they could all do some growing up.
Good for you ~ Everyone matures at different rates. I was taught as a child that staring is impolite, you'd think they'd gotten the memo & know that feeling you are referring to... the bulging eyes are relatable to walking into a Sauna, like steam smacking you in the face & gets uncomfortable after only a few seconds... Nothing justifies this type of situation as okay & imo a form of discrimination.
This.
This happened to me a lot when I was pregnant with my first, got even worse with my second, and not only will it more than likely happen with this baby but along with getting rude comments and looks for looking young,we have already a whole line of comments on how quickly we pop out babies. I can't take people's negativity when I already have a hard time being happy about having a 3rd baby.
My mother always looked like she was a teenager. She is only 5 feet tall. When she was in her mid-twenties she and my father were married. He is only five years older. They were out having dinner and a man went up to my father and called him a pervert for being with a woman so young. It was awful. My mother always hated looking so young, but now she LOVES it. She is 57 and looks like she's in her 30's. Just keep thinking how awesome it will be to look young when you are older!
FWIW, I look young too and get the "oh I thought you were like 18!" haha.
All the time! I'm 25 but apparently look about 16-17(?). As long as people aren't RUDE when they mistake me for a teen, I don't mind. Usually I get a funny story out of it and they're more embarrassed than I am annoyed.
BUT I am wondering what it's gonna be like when I start to show more/have the baby. When I WAS 16, I would go out with my baby brother and get dirty looks (I always found it interesting how it was immediately assumed that I was his mom - not even a babysitter, or aunt, or anything). Not excited to possibly get that again :-/ People just need to mind their own business - even if we WERE teen moms, no one's asking them for their opinions!
I guess discrimination works both ways.
When I had my DD I was in my mid-30's. About 3 weeks after her birth I went to the store to buy some pacifiers. An "old" lady asked how old my granddaughter was!
I'd rather have what you experienced any day of the week.
BFP May 2017.
BFP November 2011 TWINS!!!. Lost a twin at 7 weeks. DS born VBAC.
BFP July 2009. DD born via c/section for breech presentation.
BFP Jan. 2009. Missed miscarriage at 9 weeks.D&C March 2010
December 2009 - Diagnosed with bicornuate uterus.
It sucks you have to put up with that kind of rudeness. When I was 16, my littlest sister was a small 3 year old, and I watched her fairly often. Whenever I was out and about with her, I felt like people thought she was my kid and were judging me. I probably never would have noticed had it not been for the few who actually asked.
I really cannot believe this happens in this day and age. Not that I'm condoning 16-year-old moms as an ideal way of life...but come on; there's shows about it and a recent article about a brave teen mom who incidentally died to have her child. I thought this was an age where mistakes happen and we don't ship girls to the school for young moms or whatever it's called. I'm all for waiting and being married, etc. But these people truly don't have anything better to do. And if you decide to get married and have a kid young, that's your business, not anyone else's.
I might have been in the same boat as you if I had my kids in my young 20s...I tend to look 5 or so years younger. I would have punched someone.
I got that kind of thing a lot when I was engaged. Whenever I would go for a meeting with the wedding planner, when I tried on dresses, etc... People would ask about how I met DH and circle around awkwardly to "soooo, how old are you?" Then respond with, "Oh, good! I thought you were like 16 or 17!", when I told them my age (I was 22 at the time).
I find that people's perception of my age tends to reflect what I'm wearing, i.e., jeans+hoodie= getting carded for an R movie.
This happens to me a lot! (And I'm a smarta$$ so I have done just that lol) I'm 23 and still get people thinking I'm no older than 16 or 17. People that know me say I look no older than 19-20.
I hear ya! The weekend before my wedding I was inning erronds like taking my dress to the cleaners to e steamed, picking up a present for my hubby at the cigar shop... Etc. I heard from EVERY place I went "are you even old enough to get married?" the first 5 times it was funny and flattering but then after a while I was like omg people I am 25!
It so weird that total strangera think opinions should be out there for everyone else to hear.
Good job handling them though!
Yep, I'm in the young-looking camp, too. However, I'm a good bit older than most of you. I am a couple months shy of 35, and when I went to the doctor for a non-pregnancy related issue the doctor asked me if this is my first baby. I said, "No, it's my fourth." Her jaw dropped and she replied, "No way, you look so YOUNG!" This is coming from a DOCTOR! I just smiled and said thank you. I do look young, I can't deny it. But I hear those comments all the time and it does get annoying.
I'm very thankful that I look young and not old, though. My mother is 61 years old and she looks like she is in her late 40s. And my grandmother is 82 and hardly has a line on her face. I am very blessed to have good genes!
Now I will admit that when I see someone who is obviously a teenager (walking home from school, at the mall with a group of young girlfriends, etc) and she is pregnant I DO judge. I can't help it. I just feel so sad that her own childhood is going to end in this way and that her chances of having a successful future just plummeted. Yes, I realize that teenage moms can do great things with their lives and that some do, but statistically it isn't the norm. And I feel badly for the baby who is likely not going to have an intact family or a "comfortable" life for a while (I'm not sure how else to phrase what I'm thinking). Is it wrong that I think these things? I don't think so. It's human nature and honestly, it's the truth. I taught jr. high school before having kids and I unfortunately saw this happen too many times.
Embrace your youthful looks - I'm sure you are a doll and will be a great mommy!