Terrified of Breastfeeding...?
I just read the article about Wal mart pulling formula after a newborn's death (though they are unsure if the formula was the cause) and it has scared me into considering breastfeeding, but I am very uncomfortable with the idea (for myself).
I understand that it is natural and healthy (and cheap!) and I don't mind seeing others bf or what not, but FOR MYSELF, I absolutely hate the idea.
I can not stand the idea of someone needing me for food. I can not stand the idea of my breasts being used for food. I feel so strongly against it (for myself) that I'm afraid (and almost sure) it would breed resentment (for me). - Which is why I did not nurse the first time around. Because I feel like resenting my child and my motherhood is not healthy and I know that sometimes nursing is not an option at all and formula has to be used, so I know that it is not the devil (and don't try to convince me that it is!).
BUT, this time around I'm already more paranoid and now I've read that article and...
Anyone else felt this way before nursing and felt differently after? I sincerely hate the idea of nursing (for myself). But feel so scared now about what could be in formula...
Re: Terrified of Breastfeeding...?
I breastfed my son till he was 13.5 months old. I always knew I wanted to but was a little bit weirded out by it as well. Once I started though all the weirdness kind of went away. It felt natural and for me, was super easy to do. It was an awesome way to bond and snuggle with him as well.
Its not for everyone though but I wouldn't completely knock it till you try. If you try it and its not want you wanted then stop. No harm done!
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
You can always try it and see what you think. I have really enjoyed nursing my daughter for the past 11 months. It IS challenging sometimes, but it's also a wonderful part of our relationship.
You could try it for 1 week or 1 month and then decide if you'd like to continue. Just know that the first days and weeks are the most challenging as you and baby get the hang of it.
There's nothing wrong with babies needing their mamas. Oh, and as PP's have mentioned, pumping may be a good option for you, though I personally see pumping as a lot more challenging than breastfeeding (and I only pump at work when I'm away from DD - I can't imagine how much harder it is to do it FT).
Best of luck! Make the best decision for your baby, as only you can!
BFP #2 12/20/11 | EDD 8/24/12 | Natural M/C 12/22/11
BFP #3 5/13/12 (Mother's Day!) | EDD 1/23/13 | Natural M/C 6/9/12 (blighted ovum discovered 6/7/12 at 7w1d)
"And to think when their little eyes opened, the first thing they saw was the face of Jesus."
My Ovulation Chart | My Baby Name List
I loved BFing. You never have to worry about packing formula for a day out or preparing bottles, or warming bottles in the middle of the night. There are also chemicals in your breast milk when you are tired that makes the baby tired. There are a lot of benefits to BFing.
I would really recommend a BFing class. It might open you up to the idea of BFing.
Why don't you give it a try instead of assuming you will hate it? Or try pumping?
There are so many advantages for your baby in breast milk, especially colostrum. At least give it a chance!
Don't worry yourself about formula because of this one case. The article I read said that the batch was tested before it went out and was negative for bacteria. There is no way of knowing whether the water used was sterilized or that the bottles were cleaned properly. Not to mention how many babies are formula fed, and only this one child has contracted and died from this bacteria (unfortunately). They're only taking precautions.
Like other PP said, you could also try BFing. You never know how you will actually feel about it until you try. Pumping is also an option. Don;t limit yourself, but in the end you can only do what you feel is best for you and your LO. What anyone else thinks you should or shouldn't do is irrelevant.
what??? Your baby needs you for food regardless of the form in which the baby is eating.
If you want to give breast feeding or pumping a chance, then do try it. It might not be as terrifying to you once your baby is here. But also, don't beat yourself up if you can't manage it. Your baby will still get food, you will still bond with your baby (or else no fathers would ever bond with their babies), and there will be plenty of new things to be worried about.
Please note that no matter how politic you try to be about why you make whatever decision you make, you will certainly be shamed for it by someone. This is your family and your decision. Keep that in mind. Best of luck!
Maybe if you took a lactation class it would seem a bit less scary to you? And in the hospital they might have a specialist who could help you try it for the first time. Sometimes things seem less scary when you actually do them. If this is your first baby I'm sure there are going to be a lot of scary things about it, but this feeling might change when you look at your little one.
I'm not saying you have to, but I'm just saying you might want to give it a change.
An additional bonus of breast feeding is it's supposed to help you shed that baby weight fast.
Breastfeeding is kind of weird, and kind of gross, and most certainly kind of awkward. And it really really hurts at first. For weeks.
But I wouldn't trade the 14 months of BFing my daughter for anything. After the first few weeks, it just comes naturally and you don't have to buy formula, or look for a clean bottle, or do extra dishes. If you're around, you don't have to worry about your kid going hungry. It's extremely reassuring.
This EXACTLY! My DD wouldn't take a bottle at all so I HAD to breastfeed but now I wouldn't have had it any other way!
I'm a huge proponent of BF and would encourage you to take some classes and maybe read up on it a bit more. La Leche League has some good books.
That being said, it's not for everyone and don't let anyone shame you into doing it if it's something you're really averse to. As long as your baby gets fed, that is the important thing.
THIS.
I'm not sure what's gross about it, exactly, but to each their own
I just wanted to say that it doesn't hurt SO BADLY FOR WEEKS for everyone. I know I am in the minority, but I am here to say it's entirely possible to have a very comfortable breastfeeding experience without pain.
claudia poirier
Little Dude: 16 Apr. 2009 | Little Doll: 10 Jun. 2012
I felt this way, I understand.Weirdness went away immediately in the hospital
We had latch issues and an abscess, so I I EP instead (5.5 months so far), and i couldnt be more proud.
THIS
I formula fed my first and will FF my second. Breastfeeding is NOT for me at all. I read the article too and thought, oh that's really sad. But, it wouldn't convince me to change my entire thought process around. It's terrible, but sometimes our food in dangerous. Remember the cantaloupe outbreak a few months ago? My DD eats it like it's going out of style. I refuse to live in fear of everything out there.
You need to do what is best for you and in turn that will be what is best for your baby.
IF and only IF the OP feels like she had to BF to feel OK given her fears of formula, she should talk to a doctor. DO NOT take a breastfeeding class or talk to a lactation consultant. The breastfeeding advocates are relentless zealots who know which buttons to push to make you feel like absolute garbage and a failure as a human being and unfit as a mother if you don't or can't BF.
I couldn't BF. I tried for weeks, but my milk never came in due to a pre-existing condition that, after the fact, they all said would probably affect my ability to BF (of course, prior to failure, it "shouldn't be a problem at all if you try!"). I used to cry when I fed my daughter formula. I wished she die of SIDS because the BF freaks had me convinced she was going to be a slow learner, have a lower IQ, get sick all the time, be disconnected from me, have ADD and a bunch of other developmental problems and it was all my fault. I was breastfed. My IQ is MENSA-qualifying. I never get sick. How dare I give her a start to life that was so second-rate to mine? She would be better off dead.
I had to go for counseling to undo the damage these people do. The BF advocates are fighting a war that doesn't exist. Anyone with a brain knows, objectively, that BFing is natural and good, but it doesn't always work for any number of reasons. Science has given us an option so that babies who can't BF don't starve to death. It's a good option.
So... if the OP really needs to BF for her peace of mind, she should talk to a doctor or therapist about her aversion. I get it. She thinks producing something someone else eats is nasty. The only thing we "produce" normally is excrement. I get it. It's OK. If you need to get over this because of your fear of formula, talk to someone who specialized in psychological issues like this. If you want to FF, that's fine, too.
One of the benefits of breast feeding that convinced me is that the immunity I have, gets passed to my baby so it is immune to MUCH more than if I were to use formula.
Im still quite anxious about breastfeeding and will def use the lactation specialist the hospital has available.
The other thing is that a hormone is released when you breastfeed which is a bonding hormone which helps with bonding with your baby.
I'm sorry that you had a rough start. It sounds like you were dealing with a lot, including a lack of good support. However, it is not the normal experience for LCs to make you feel like your baby would be better off dead than FF. All LCs are not the same, and I'm not discounting the possibility that you had a bad one, but it sounds like there were other issues at play in your circumstances.
OP- I do think it'd be a good idea for you to check out a La Leche League meeting in your area, or a local BFing class, or even just a book about BFing. To an extent, I understand where you're coming from. I really wanted to give it a try, though, because I know that it's good for my baby and it's what my body us meant to do. I'm nursing LO to sleep as I type this
Like PPs said, why not think about giving it a try? Every day you BF is beneficial to your baby and if you decide you'd rather give formula, no harm no foul. Do what's best for your family, not because one news story scared you and not because someone is guilting you, but because you made an informed choice and decided what was best.
I BF my first and I agree with this.. they are very pushy and will tell you all the advantages of BF'ing like FF'ing is "giving up" on your child. Not true. Women who coulnd't breastfeed before formula existed actually fed their babies a mixture of carnation evaporated milk, karo syrup, water, and vitamins. And those babies grew up to be just fine.
Don't be afraid to feed your LO formula because of one incident. GL!
"Understanding this first, that no prophecy of scripture is made by private interpretation. For prophecy came not by the will of man at any time: but the holy men of God spoke, inspired by the Holy Ghost." Peter 2:1:20
Make a pregnancy ticker
The bottom line is that it's your body, your baby. If you decide not to try breastfeeding, that is 100% your choice. As you know, formula is not poison. As a previous poster commented, we have food recalls all the time (spinach,cantaloupe, meat, tomatoes), but we continue to eat these foods and feed our children these foods. It's tragic that a baby died, but fetus's can die from listeria (another kind of food poisoning), and pregnant women still go around eating lunch meat, soft serve, sushi, etc.
Breastfeeding and Formula feeding both have their pros and cons, and you can research those until you are blue in the face. For instance, breastfeeding is "the perfect food" for baby nutritionally, however, many breastfeed infants are anemic and end up on an iron supplement. Breastfeeding is essentially free, but you will pay 300 bucks for a good breastpump if you decide to pump, for us that was 10 months of formula! (We used Similac). Breastfeeding is a great bonding time for mom and baby, but it makes dad feel isolated and not part of the bonding experience. Breastfeeding is readily available, no heating, no bottles, but this means you have to always be available to pull out the breast every time baby is hungry. The pros and cons go on and on.
So do your research, or not, and decide what's right for you and your baby!
I can tell you from my own experience, I have a 3 1/2 year old dd, who despite being primarily formula fed, is thriving. My daughter was formula fed exclusively, from six weeks on, not by my first choice, but I'm ok with it now. My milk supply was low, she was a tongue tied preemie with a poor latch, and my own illness made it so breastfeeding wasn't going to happen for us. I gave her what I could in the beginning. She's smart, she's athletic, and she rarely gets sick. Seriously, the child didn't even have so much as a sniffle until she was 18 months old!
Good Luck, and happy and healthy 9 months to you!
Sorry, but I work on a postpartum unit in a large hospital, and I have to disagree. We see about 4000 births a year, and our LC's are relentless about getting you to breastfeed.
Again, I am in no way claiming there are only good LCs out there. The first one I saw out of the hospital made me very upset and gave me bad advice. The other 2 I saw were supportive and helped me have a successful BFing relationship with my LO.
Like any profession, there are bad and good LCs. I don't know what you do at the hospital, but I'm sure you wouldn't want anyone generalizing your profession because they'd had experiences with other people who hold your title being unprofessional. If the LCs you work with are International Board Certified, it is against their code of ethics for them to make a mother feel her baby would be better off dead than formula fed.
There is room between being objective about BF/FF and making a mother wish her baby would die of SIDS so she didn't have to FF. I am not saying LCs are objective, I am saying they are a good source of information about BFing. The OP has FF, so if she would like to know more about something she does not have experience with, I think an LC could help. Here's an article written by an LC that explains what I'm trying to say better: https://tinyurl.com/phdinparenting
OP-- here is a link from Best For Babes with advice if you don't know if you want to BF. I am not claiming this is an objective source, but I think there is good info in this article. I wish you the best, no matter what your decision: https://www.bestforbabes.org/help-i-dont-want-to-breastfeed
Hey! I'm a first time mother to be, and I have to admit, breastfeeding REALLY freaks me out too, which is why I clicked on your post in the first place. I still plan on giving it a whirl to see first hand if I can tolerate/like it, before resorting to formula. Who knows, maybe I'll like it!
I saw that someone suggested using goats milk... Please DON'T use goats milk in lieu of formula unless your baby is a goat! Formula is designed for baby humans, goats milk is absolutely not. I'm a dietitian... you just don't want to miss out on any nutrients that both breast milk and formula are designed to provide, and the protein/lipid/carb ratio is not correct for human babies. You wouldn't give cows milk either for the same reason.
I wouldn't worry about formulas being unsafe, especially after the recall the producers are probably being extra careful not to put anything that would potentially be dangerous out on the shelves. Like many people have already suggested, talk to your pediatrician if you're worried for advice/suggestions.
REALLY interesting post. People can tell you until they're blue in the face about the benefits of breastfeeding but I'm sure you've probably heard it already since this isn't your first. I hate it when people tell me "breast is best" and this, that, and the other thing. I'm a grown person and I will make my own decisions, damn it!
Anyway, I'm expecting my first child in a couple of weeks and I, myself, have been wrestling with the idea of breastfeeding. I also hate(d?) the idea of someone being dependent on me for food but regardless... this baby is going to be dependent for quite some time. I just decided to breastfeed because of how much cheaper it is and with times being as tough as they are it just makes financial sense.... as selfish as that sounds.
I think at this point if you're seriously that terrified about the possibility of something happening to your little one you need to weigh the risks. Can you live with your decision (whatever it may be) if something were to happen? I say do what feels right for you... or whatever feels MOST right if that's unclear. Whatever you decide, just stay confident and positive about your choice.
Good luck!