a/s today - tech would not tell us the gender of our baby...

Bride2004 · December 2011

I am sorry for r/p-ing this all over the place, I'm just shocked!

No flames please....

After the tech scanned all of the important stuff she had my DH and DS come into the room. She showed us the head, feet, arms, etc. Then I asked her if she could tell us the gender. She said she can't, she's not allowed. She also said that most places won't reveal the gender anymore because of lawsuits. I asked her if it would be in the report so my doctor would be able to tell me and she said, "No, I didn't even scan the area". We are really disappointed and worried at the same time that something might be wrong. We went to this imaging place because my Dr.s office recommended it. I almost feel like it's a way to have us shell out the money for a 3D/4D ultrasound. I am going to wait until Monday to call my Dr. to see if this is the normal procedure with this place.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Wipz · December 2011

sounds odd to me, it's not like you are 8 weeks and asking her to guess.

All of the elective U/S places I have looked at who offer 3D/4D also offer gender scan packages too. If your Dr sent you there I would definitely ask if that is normal practise for that clinic and perhaps ask for a recommendation to somewhere else that will reveal the gender. Did you Dr mention anything about not being told the gender or indicate he expected you to find out at that appointment.

I am pretty sure my Dr would have told me that I wouldn't be told if that were the case.

kiarstin · December 2011

Thats odd, I wouldn't worry about if something was wrong though they dont have to look at gender and its not even the point of your scan. My doctor however checked at 16 weeks(hes was turned around and wouldn't budge) then I found out 3 days later at my friends school and at my anatomy scan she confirmed.

Bride2004 · December 2011

Wipz:

Did you Dr mention anything about not being told the gender or indicate he expected you to find out at that appointment.

No, not at all! The tech said they will not tell anyone the gender of their baby anymore. I wish I never went there, ugh!

cheri lynne · December 2011

Seems odd...I know 6 years ago when we did an elective 3D u/s they would not do it until you had already had your a/s from your dr. That way they weren't responsible for finding any abnormalities. I'm surprised that those rules have obviously changed and ppl seem to get elective u/s whenever they want.

Sawyerplus1 · December 2011

That's disappointing to be sure, but like PP said, the point of the u/s for both the tech and the dr isn't to determine the gender. I'm in Canada, and I know in the province next to me they wont reveal the gender either (at least until baby is viable after 24 weeks). It's just policy. In your case I wouldn't worry, but tell the dr about your surprise (and disappointment) and maybe he can shed some light on it for you.

LesSaintesMariesDeLaMer · December 2011

Sounds fishy. I wouldn't think lawsuits would be an issue with gender scanning. They always say it's never 100%, and what damages would you claim anyway?

"Most places won't reveal the gender anymore" is an absolute lie. It's pretty standard to make a gender prediction. So there is some other reason - maybe the gender scan is an extra fee or something? I don't know, but I would definitely express my concerns to the the OB, especially if they recommend that facility.

speckledfrog · December 2011

She didn't scan the area? I call malarkey. The baby is so small. There is no way that if she measured the femur that she didn't see the genitals. Also, the scan down the entire body, including the stomach. Again, the baby is so small that there's no way she didn't see. I am also surprised that she didn't scan it just to see if there was anything amiss (cysts, only one testicle, etc).

I can see how the practice may choose not to tell their patients the sex, though.

AnaJourney · December 2011

What a bummer, I'm sorry

At the a/s with my son, the tech was not willing to go out of her way to look for gender.

jamielynne1533 · December 2011

Oh my gosh! How bizarre! I would definitely be asking some questions. I was at my ultrasound for an hour and a half! The tech was very understanding and knew we were curious about the gender. So she took her time and explained everything to us but I felt bad because she couldnt get a lot of good pics because baby kept moving!

Pdxmom73 · December 2011

That is strange! I have Kaiser so you go to Kaiser offices for everything. The peri told me that the next scan would be the a/s and we could find out gender at that time if we wanted to. I would definitely talk to your doc. The genital area is part of the anatomy so for her to say that she didn't even look there seems odd!

Looks like maybe you will have to go the 3d/4d route unless you want to remain team green !

marielovestimothy03 · December 2011

Even though the anatomy scan's main purpose isn't finding out the gender, it's almost always expected that parents will want to (unless they are team green). I see this come up rarely on the boards that the u/s tech won't tell but it's not THAT common. The lawsuit thing is total BS too, sounds like a cop out excuse to not tell. I know some women have had to wait to hear the results from their OB at a next appointment. Have you called the office to ask? Sorry you didn't get to hear what you were hoping. I'd be really disappointed too.

Bathlove · December 2011

LesSaintesMariesDeLaMer:
Sounds fishy. I wouldn't think lawsuits would be an issue with gender scanning. They always say it's never 100%, and what damages would you claim anyway?

"Most places won't reveal the gender anymore" is an absolute lie. It's pretty standard to make a gender prediction. So there is some other reason - maybe the gender scan is an extra fee or something? I don't know, but I would definitely express my concerns to the the OB, especially if they recommend that facility.

I agree. What would there be to sue over? Sounds like the tech doesn't know what she's talking about.

easjer05 · December 2011

It is becoming more common in certain areas not to check specifically for the sex and/or not to tell the parents. Areas in Europe are headed that direction, and there are provinces in Canada that no longer share as well, precisely because of termiantions due to sex determination.

And there is nothing fishy about lawsuits. Seriously? America is notoriously litigious as a society. This sounds like a freestanding center that is trying to retain OB referrals - not a place that wants to be hit with a lawsuit or well prepared to deal with a drawn out court battle. Even if it were unlikely to be won (as the sex is not guaranteed, and many freestanding centers ask patients to sign papers stating they know that the u/s is a visual tool only and subject to inaccuracies or error in reading, etc), retaining legal counsel and fighting legal battles isn't cheap.

And no, there is no inherent reason to check the genitalia. While it often is visualized during other measurements (femur, abdominal circumference, etc), it may or may not present in such a way that the tech gets a clear view. How many times have we seen on the boards that a baby was uncooperative during the scan? As it is not one of the necessary measurements or organs, it's not difficult to see how it would be left out of the report.

I find it surprising, all that being said. And I'm surprised especially that they wouldn't tell you that in advance. I do think it's worth a mention to the doctor and s/he may not be aware of a change in the place's policies, and may be able to take a look for you without you having to pay for an elective u/s.

Sovello · December 2011

I've heard similar. My clinic FLAT-OUT refuses to comment on gender before 20 weeks. Wouldn't surprise me if it was lawsuit related. A nurse told me she had a friend who paid for a scan early and got the wrong sex and went crazy, they had bought all girl stuff, and had a boy.

HotChocolate79 · December 2011

I too find this really strange. At my U/S at 11 and 12 weeks, one of which was done at an emergency room, they went out of their way to tell us the gender but of course cautioned us not to go shopping or paint the room.

tuki06 · December 2011

I guess my question is, was this the actual Dr's office or was it an independent place like Fetal Foto's? Cus while I'm shocked because I have never heard this before I guess it would make a little more sense if it was an independent type place. But for her to not even scan the area sounds really not right to me I mean how can you have an a/s without everything being scanned. I'm having me a/s scan at my perinatologist's office and I specifically asked if they would tell me or if I had to have another one at the OB's office and she said of course they'd tell me so I think you got a crappy office/tech. Good luck

easjer05 · December 2011

Loolaide:
That's crap - I would be super angry.
Sure, maybe it isn't absolutely necessary from the doctor's standpoint. But you (and your insurance) are paying them buttloads of money and they can't even look at the sex for you?
And I would think that there are abnormalities that they'd probably want to look for (or do they not care about abnormalities with genitalia?). It's awfully close to where they would look to measure the leg bones and to verify that the baby doesn't have spina bifida, so I have a hard time believing that the tech wasn't looking in the area.

At this point, you aren't likely to see abnormalities with the genitalia. Maybe later on - but no, there isn't much they are looking for, really.

easjer05 · December 2011

FTR - it is totally possible to scan the area without identifying the sex. Femur measurements can be taken from a profile view, depending on baby's positioning, and sometimes things (hands, cord, feet, etc) get in the way of or otherwise obscure the genitalia. Which is why women are often told that they can't be 100% on the sex or why they get no reading at all. It's actually really common.

Shesaidwat · December 2011

That doesn't sound right! I would talk to your doctor, otherwise check with the colleges near you that have an ultra sound tech program because most of them offer free ultra sounds and tell you the gender!!

hey_little_bird · December 2011

it seems like they should have mentioned that up front, instead of just being all, "nope, can't tell you." during the scan.

also: it is sex, not gender. they are two completely different things.

"The distinction between sex and gender is a concept that distinguishes sex, a natural or biological feature, from gender, the cultural or learned significance of sex."

devious1031 · December 2011

I think that's a load of crap and I'd talk to the doc about that "policy".

Aamazing · December 2011

Sawyerplus1:
That's disappointing to be sure, but like PP said, the point of the u/s for both the tech and the dr isn't to determine the gender. I'm in Canada, and I know in the province next to me they wont reveal the gender either (at least until baby is viable after 24 weeks). It's just policy. In your case I wouldn't worry, but tell the dr about your surprise (and disappointment) and maybe he can shed some light on it for you.

I can verify this. I live in BC, and unless the Dr requests the gender to be reported on the official report, they will not even look for the sex. If it is requested, they will only put it in the report, and the Dr will only reveal the sex after the 24th week of pregnancy. We are never told the sex, or the presence of any abnormalities by the tech. Everything is sent in a report to the Dr, who will then let you know any details.

This is all due to problems in the past with sex-selection. Abortions after the 24th week of gestation are illegal here, and therefore they wait until it is illegal and very difficult to find a practitioner who will abort, to reveal the sex.

I know this is probably not the policy in NJ right now, but perhaps that is what the state is leaning towards, and therefore, what influences the policy of the individual clinic.

Still sucks though, I'm sure. Sorry OP - you are right - you should have been made aware of this fact before you booked the appointment!

vanillacourage · December 2011

Whether its understandable for them to report on sex or not, if that reporting is common in your area and both you/your doctor thought it was part of the scan, then they should have been upfront about their policy so you could have taken it into consideration when selecting an u/s provider. I would talk to your OB and see if they can get full copies of the results and tell you themselves. At a minimum your doc should know about this place's policy before referring others.

PetitePomme · December 2011

I know that here (in Nova Scotia, Canada or at least where I live) if you are having a normal pregnancy with no complications they are not allowed to tell you if the baby is a boy or girl at your a/s (there are even signs up all over the ultrasound clinic saying not to ask). The only people who find out at their scan are the women who are high-risk and have to go to the fetal risk and assessment clinic. Everyone else has to pay to go to a private clinic to find out.

laddfamilyof6 · December 2011

Isnt the point of an anatomy scan is to make sure the baby has all of its body parts? Would the ovaries or testcles be a part of its body?? How could the check out the upper thighs and hips or vertebrae without seeing the goods? Didn't scan the area?! Def something off there!

davisas2323 · December 2011

I know the anatomy scan is to make sure everything's developing well, but it's obviously a milestone in many parent's minds for finding out the sex of the baby (if they want to know). Knowing that, why not be upfront if your office policy won't allow it to be determined?

I would be furious if my doctor sent me to an u/s clinic that wouldn't tell me the sex without first disclosing that it was their policy (if they knew). I'd go so far as to say I'd switch practices if there was any perceived dishonesty. Not saying that's what happened here, but it's a very precious moment that many of us look forward to since the BFP. It's one way to get to know our baby and bond before birth (again, not to say Team Green folks can't do that, too).

Whew! That one got my hormones racing. Had to rant there for a sec. Hope the ladies who want to find out can!

Bride2004 · December 2011

marielovestimothy03:
I know some women have had to wait to hear the results from their OB at a next appointment. Have you called the office to ask? Sorry you didn't get to hear what you were hoping. I'd be really disappointed too.

When I asked the tech if my Dr. would be able to tell me, she said she didn't even scan the area and it wouldn't be in the report so they wouldn't be able to tell me.

PurpleSnapDragons · December 2011

I know in England, more and more hospitals are making it illegal to tell you the gender. I think some of it is related to immigrants doing selective abortions against girls but others are relating to hospitals being sued by parents who birth the baby and find out it's the opposite sex they are told. The parents haven't won a lawsuit yet but it's costing hospitals a lot of money in litigation. It wouldn't surprise me in sue-happy USA if this becomes more common as well.

a/s today - tech would not tell us the gender of our baby...

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