Infertility

Happy Friday?

I usually have something positive to share on Friday for no other reason than because it is...well, Friday and every Friday should be a good Friday.  Today, I don't have many positive thoughts.  I am fighting back tears at my desk.  I am feeling frustrated, heart broken, and deflated about miserable IF.  I hate these days that creep up out of the blue.  Looking for empathy or advice or support.  I will take anything right about now! 

Countless BFN(s)
Moving to IVF

IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

Pressing Forward

IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

FET. 2TFR'ed.
Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
Where do we go from here?

Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
Finally some (tough) answers.


IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

Re: Happy Friday?

  • I'm sorry that you're having a tough time.  I feel the same way today too.  IF's just harder sometimes.
    TTC since November 2009
    Mild MFI, irregular cycles, HSG only showed left tube open
    IUIs #1-3: Femara -- BFN
    IUI #4: Follistim + HCG boosters -- BFN
    Sept./Oct. 2011 IVF#1: Long Lupron, 3dt of 2 -- BFN + 1 frostie
    Surprise BFP 11.21.2011: missed m/c at 9w2d, D&C 12.27.2011
    The Blog
  • feel better!!!!  Stay strong.....

    I am also having one of those days! I had a horrible RE check up today and have been crying at my desk all day!

    AKA...suzannebetty- I changed my screen name!

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  • Sorry you're having a hard day! I'm having one of those too where I'm just really depressed & sad. IF does suck but you're not alone! We're right here with you :) I hope your day gets better! Hugs!
    Me: 33 & DH: 31~ Married: 07/10/05; TTC since 09/2009
    Dx: Endo; Lap surgery:09/2009
    Referred to RE October 2010
    IVF #1 April/May 2011 - BFN; IVF #2 August 2011 - BFP, ended in miscarriage; FET #1 April 2012 - BFN; IVF #3 Fall 2012
  • I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.  IF really sucks!!!  Hope you can curl up with a nice glass of wine tonight and maybe watch a good movie? 
    TTC since May 2010. DX Unexplained IF. IUI #1 in August 2012. Clomid, Menopur plus Ovidrel. BFN. IUI #2 in September 2012. Clomid, Menopur plus Ovidrel. BFN. IUI #3 in October 2012. BFN. IVF in April/May 2013. BFP with b/g twins! Due February 2, 2014. Thank you God!
  • I am so sorry.  I know these days all too well and wouldn't wish them on anyone!  Just keep your head up and know that your day will come soon.  It will! 

     

  • I am so sorry that you are feeling down.  We all have those days.  I make sure that on those days I either surround myself with family, friends or a nice bottle of wine.  I hope you can find some comfort tonight or feel a little better tomorrow.  ((HUGS))
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  • My whole point of taking a medicated break was to give my emotional state a chance to strengthen.  I thought it was working, then today happened.  Tears.  Anger.  Major heart break.  What the heck!  I cannot get away from the sadness of IF and that is beyond frustrating...to know that I will live in this state of emotional instabilty until I find success.  Thank you for the well wishes.  I am sure tomorow will be a better day, but for now I need to push down the sadness to regain composure while at work.  After work, I will let the tears...and wine...flow!!

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • Awww, I'm so sorry hon *big hug*

    I can't wait to get home to listen to my infertility guided meditation mp3. I've never been so relaxed in my life! I've never tried guided meditation before, but I'm loving it!

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  • imageDaisies1706:

    Awww, I'm so sorry hon *big hug*

    I can't wait to get home to listen to my infertility guided meditation mp3. I've never been so relaxed in my life! I've never tried guided meditation before, but I'm loving it!

    My interest is peaked!  What is guided infertility meditation?  Thank you for the support.  Days like this stink.  I need to think strong! 

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:

    Awww, I'm so sorry hon *big hug*

    I can't wait to get home to listen to my infertility guided meditation mp3. I've never been so relaxed in my life! I've never tried guided meditation before, but I'm loving it!

    My interest is peaked!  What is guided infertility meditation?  Thank you for the support.  Days like this stink.  I need to think strong! 

    It's this mp3 I downloaded on Amazon mp3 and I'm in love with it! It's called "Trying to Conceive: Help for Infertility" by Val Gosselin. She has the most soothing voice.

    There are silent meditations, a long guided meditation and a short guided meditation. You're supposed to listen to it every day for 21 days for maximum benefit, blah, blah, blah. I figured it was worth a try since I'm going bat sh!t crazy lately. I'm on my 17th day and I actually find myself looking forward to it every day!

    I've been having a REALLY hard time relaxing lately, but this works every time!

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  • imageDaisies1706:
    imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:

    Awww, I'm so sorry hon *big hug*

    I can't wait to get home to listen to my infertility guided meditation mp3. I've never been so relaxed in my life! I've never tried guided meditation before, but I'm loving it!

    My interest is peaked!  What is guided infertility meditation?  Thank you for the support.  Days like this stink.  I need to think strong! 

    It's this mp3 I downloaded on Amazon mp3 and I'm in love with it! It's called "Trying to Conceive: Help for Infertility" by Val Gosselin. She has the most soothing voice.

    There are silent meditations, a long guided meditation and a short guided meditation. You're supposed to listen to it every day for 21 days for maximum benefit, blah, blah, blah. I figured it was worth a try since I'm going bat sh!t crazy lately. I'm on my 17th day and I actually find myself looking forward to it every day!

    I've been having a REALLY hard time relaxing lately, but this works every time!

    Bat sh!t crazy!  That pretty much sums up what IF turns us into!  Lol!  I am all over this download.  Thanks for the idea! 

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:
    imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:

    Awww, I'm so sorry hon *big hug*

    I can't wait to get home to listen to my infertility guided meditation mp3. I've never been so relaxed in my life! I've never tried guided meditation before, but I'm loving it!

    My interest is peaked!  What is guided infertility meditation?  Thank you for the support.  Days like this stink.  I need to think strong! 

    It's this mp3 I downloaded on Amazon mp3 and I'm in love with it! It's called "Trying to Conceive: Help for Infertility" by Val Gosselin. She has the most soothing voice.

    There are silent meditations, a long guided meditation and a short guided meditation. You're supposed to listen to it every day for 21 days for maximum benefit, blah, blah, blah. I figured it was worth a try since I'm going bat sh!t crazy lately. I'm on my 17th day and I actually find myself looking forward to it every day!

    I've been having a REALLY hard time relaxing lately, but this works every time!

    Bat sh!t crazy!  That pretty much sums up what IF turns us into!  Lol!  I am all over this download.  Thanks for the idea! 

    Bat sh!t crazy - yep, that's how I feel too!  I'm gonna check it out too.  Thanks Daisies!

    And to rockpaperlove, sorry you had one of "those" days.  Hope you'll be home soon with a glass of wine in hand.  Any fun plans to help you relax this weekend?

    ~ PAIF & SAIF welcome ~
    IVF #1 in progress
  • imagebttrfly0727:
    imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:
    imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:

    Awww, I'm so sorry hon *big hug*

    I can't wait to get home to listen to my infertility guided meditation mp3. I've never been so relaxed in my life! I've never tried guided meditation before, but I'm loving it!

    My interest is peaked!  What is guided infertility meditation?  Thank you for the support.  Days like this stink.  I need to think strong! 

    It's this mp3 I downloaded on Amazon mp3 and I'm in love with it! It's called "Trying to Conceive: Help for Infertility" by Val Gosselin. She has the most soothing voice.

    There are silent meditations, a long guided meditation and a short guided meditation. You're supposed to listen to it every day for 21 days for maximum benefit, blah, blah, blah. I figured it was worth a try since I'm going bat sh!t crazy lately. I'm on my 17th day and I actually find myself looking forward to it every day!

    I've been having a REALLY hard time relaxing lately, but this works every time!

    Bat sh!t crazy!  That pretty much sums up what IF turns us into!  Lol!  I am all over this download.  Thanks for the idea! 

    Bat sh!t crazy - yep, that's how I feel too!  I'm gonna check it out too.  Thanks Daisies!

    And to rockpaperlove, sorry you had one of "those" days.  Hope you'll be home soon with a glass of wine in hand.  Any fun plans to help you relax this weekend?

    I am going to get bat sh!t crazy!  Just kidding.  I love that phrase and plan to use it often thanks to Daisies!  I have a caramel apple making party with my girlfriends this weekend.  Caramel apples is our excuse to get together and drink wine!

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • Ughh. I hate days like you're having. We've all had our share. And there seems to be little predicting it. :(  At the risk of sounding trite, the gratitude journal I started seems to be helping. There are days when it's hard to come up with anything to say (e.g., I am grateful that I wasn't hit by a bus today.).  But, on those days, you can go back and read your earlier entries. They will bring a smile to your face when you need it most. Hugs. 
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
  • imagerockpaperlove:
    imagebttrfly0727:

    Bat sh!t crazy - yep, that's how I feel too!  I'm gonna check it out too.  Thanks Daisies!

    And to rockpaperlove, sorry you had one of "those" days.  Hope you'll be home soon with a glass of wine in hand.  Any fun plans to help you relax this weekend?

    I am going to get bat sh!t crazy!  Just kidding.  I love that phrase and plan to use it often thanks to Daisies!  I have a caramel apple making party with my girlfriends this weekend.  Caramel apples is our excuse to get together and drink wine!

    Any excuse works for me, but that sounds like fun!  :)  Hope you have a great time. 

    ~ PAIF & SAIF welcome ~
    IVF #1 in progress
  • I'm sorry you're having a rough day. That was me this morning. IF sucks all the time, sometimes stuff candistract us from the suckiness, sometimes not. I hope the rest of your weekend goes better. Caramel apples sound fun!
    ttc since 02/10 first RE visit 01/11 Clomid + TI 03/11, 04/11, 05/11 IUI 06/11, 07/11 IVF #1 - BFN :( FET - 11/11 beta 11/21/11 BFP!!! :). Beta 1 - 319, Beta 2 - 921 1st ultrasound 12/1 TWINS!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagerockpaperlove:
    imagebttrfly0727:
    imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:
    imagerockpaperlove:
    imageDaisies1706:

    Awww, I'm so sorry hon *big hug*

    I can't wait to get home to listen to my infertility guided meditation mp3. I've never been so relaxed in my life! I've never tried guided meditation before, but I'm loving it!

    My interest is peaked!  What is guided infertility meditation?  Thank you for the support.  Days like this stink.  I need to think strong! 

    It's this mp3 I downloaded on Amazon mp3 and I'm in love with it! It's called "Trying to Conceive: Help for Infertility" by Val Gosselin. She has the most soothing voice.

    There are silent meditations, a long guided meditation and a short guided meditation. You're supposed to listen to it every day for 21 days for maximum benefit, blah, blah, blah. I figured it was worth a try since I'm going bat sh!t crazy lately. I'm on my 17th day and I actually find myself looking forward to it every day!

    I've been having a REALLY hard time relaxing lately, but this works every time!

    Bat sh!t crazy!  That pretty much sums up what IF turns us into!  Lol!  I am all over this download.  Thanks for the idea! 

    Bat sh!t crazy - yep, that's how I feel too!  I'm gonna check it out too.  Thanks Daisies!

    And to rockpaperlove, sorry you had one of "those" days.  Hope you'll be home soon with a glass of wine in hand.  Any fun plans to help you relax this weekend?

    I am going to get bat sh!t crazy!  Just kidding.  I love that phrase and plan to use it often thanks to Daisies!  I have a caramel apple making party with my girlfriends this weekend.  Caramel apples is our excuse to get together and drink wine!

     I'm glad I could make you smile! And your caramel apple party sounds like so much fun!

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