So we're thinking of names and ILs politely "remind" me that if we have a son his middle name must be Robert. This follows a family tradition of giving your son his grandfather's first name as a middle name.
Robert is a fine normal name, but what is I don't want to give my son that middle name? I was thinking Carter John for our son. John is my Dad's name, he never had a son. ILs already are giving my kid their last name, I don't think its fair to give my son a middle and last name honoring the ILs and totally ignore my family in this. And I need to add, we're with my family more, they're more supportive, and honestly, will be in our child's life more.
DH sees both sides, but doesn't want to stir the pot with his family...what would you do?
Re: What do you think about breaking tradition?
Break tradition. Do what you want. I think it's sad that they expect you to pick that name!
ETA: DS name is Carter Robert, lol. I compromised on that one... DH wanted a Jr (his name is Robert) so I told him we'd use it as a MN since I loathe Jr's. He was fine with that.
Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14
DH and I's motto is "if you weren't in the bedroom to make the baby then you don't get to name it." But I just feel like slightly guilty breaking about 5 generations of this tradition...
This is YOUR baby....do what you and your DH want, not what everyone else wants.
Let them pick this and they'll be trying to control the rest of his life! STAND FIRM!
Dh's parents wanted us to do the same thing with our first however I made it well known in the beginning that my parents names would be the middle names because his parents were already getting the last name. He agreed and sided with me.
IMO I think you should do what you want. It's your child not theirs.
I would say that if DH and you decide you want to break tradition, do it without even a twinge of guilt!
Believe it or not, my MIL is actually telling my DH that he SHOULDN'T name our son (if we have one; we don't know) in the family tradition. (My DH is a 3rd.) She said to go with a 4th was "just ridiculous, and enough is enough"! My DH lost his dad 7 years ago, and was thinking of honoring him by naming a 4th. I'm willing to do that, because it means so much to him. Now he's doubting himself because of what MIL said, and I want to just smack her!
I told him we're going to name our child what WE want to, not anyone else. So, definitely, break tradition if that's what you and your DH want!
I'm surprised that everyone agrees with me! I thought I was being a jerk! Thanks ladies, I don't feel so bad now!
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You make a good point, the baby already get their last name. And if you go with your dad's name then he'll still be getting a grandfather's name, just not the one they wanted.
I say break tradition!
We broke tradition. Everyone in DH's family has the same names, he has 2 uncle Edwards, a cousin Edward, 2 cousins John and 2 cousins Jeff. Both his grandfather's were Edward. And he's a Jr.
DS's first name is one we liked and his MN is after my grandfather.
Break tradition.
I am assuming your son will get your husband's last name, so you should get to honor your family with the middle name. The child is ALREADY getting a tradition for DH's side with the last name.
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We are breaking tradition by deciding not to name our son (if that's what we have) after my DH. Our DS would be the 4th and I just don't want to do it. We will use DH's name as a middle name but I am really only doing that because DH wants to do it. I know that my IL's will talk crap and blame me as usual but I just don't care.
Do what you want!
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Break the tradition, you have a valid argument.
But mostly... he's your son to name as you guys wish. Neener neener in-laws.
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Do what you want... DS1 was DH's choice, with me having final veto. DH wanted a Jr but I hate his middle name so I switched it out. And we call DS by middle name. This really upset inlaws, they could not see why I didn't like barthalmew
For this LO I get to chose (with DH final veto) and I am thinking of mostly family names from my side, I am sure it will be an issue. So we will just throw out 2-3 names even once we decide.
I think that I?m leaning away from the majority on this one. Here?s just a few thoughts on this side of the argument.
This child is bigger than just you and your dh. S/he is yours, but also belongs to a larger group/family. Also, this baby will grow up to be an individual who may or may not care for a tradition such as this. Would he want a name that?s been past down?
Also try to think long term. How are you going to feel about this decision 25/30/40/50 years from now? How is your dh going to feel?
One last though, what will you say if/when your son asks you why all these other people have Robert as a middle name, but he doesn?t. Do you have a good explanation for him?
Just food for thought.
This. Exactly. Especially since you want to give the baby a family name from your family. It's not like you don't have a strong connection to the middle name you've picked and the reason you want to use it.