I think that everyone should be civil with their BF. It just makes things easier on everyone. By no means do I mean friendly, but I dont think that friendly falls under "civil"
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013
Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
Since I'm mature and act like an adult, yes, I'm civil with my XH.
Well I am an adult too and try act civil with my Ex, but my EX is manipulative and acts like a child so it makes it pretty hard 90% of the time. If he gets his way, he's nice. If things don't go according to his plan or I don't return a phone call, he gets ugly.
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Since I'm mature and act like an adult, yes, I'm civil with my XH.
Well I am an adult too and try act civil with my Ex, but my EX is manipulative and acts like a child so it makes it pretty hard 90% of the time. If he gets his way, he's nice. If things don't go according to his plan or I don't return a phone call, he gets ugly.
I am civil. If he sends nasty text messages, I ignore them. If he doesn't get his way, he typically "punishes" me by not taking the girls for several weeks or months. However, we've been divorced for over a year and a half, and I filed almost 3 years ago. So...we've both had time to move on and get over hurt feelings.
I would say that, for the moment, I am civil. For me it's a very fine line between getting along and him not taking things the wrong way (as in, DUUUUDDEE, she wants me again), which I'm always trying to evaluate.
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I am the civil one. Soon to be XH is the over-dramatic one who throws temper-tantrums like a 2 year old if he can't get what he wants...mediation should be fun.
I am as civil as possible. I never bad mouth XH in front of DD and I rarely discuss him with other people (and really it's not to discuss him or how he treated me, but more to update them when they ask if he has filed anything new with the courts). There is a no contact order in place for him, so I don't have to worry about him sending nasty messages, emails, phone calls, etc. anymore. The only time I need to contact him is to give him notice of when DD and I will be out of state and those letters are simply stating the facts of the trip. When XH does arrange to have a visit with DD it is through a supervising agency (so, again we have no direct contact) and I try to always say yes to the visit time proposed unless there is a hard conflict that I cannot change. Also, if DD has a visit with her father I make sure to pack diapers, snacks, and her blankie/special toys so that her visit is as comfortable as possible.
So, yes, considering the complexity of my situation with my XH, I believe I am very civil...but I also don't really harbor any anger or ill-feelings toward him anymore; I hate how he treated me and I hate even more how he treated DD, but I also know that all that is in the past and that I'm so much happier now and DD is in a healthy, stable, safe, loving environment now.
I have made every attempt to be but he keeps lying TO me and ABOUT me to others which has resulted in me telling him off a couple times. But things have calmed down recently after his sister told him that he was wrong and needed to stop lying. So I'd say we're okay at the moment and I really hope it stays that way.
JC do your ex and mine know each other? haha Mine does the same thing...I'm actually suspicious now when he IS nice because I'm wondering what he wants and how long until he'll be mean when he doesn't get what he wants. right. NOW.
lilhotcandie69
member
Re: Who is civil?
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
Since I'm mature and act like an adult, yes, I'm civil with my XH.
Yep, sounds like me too.
I am as civil as possible. I never bad mouth XH in front of DD and I rarely discuss him with other people (and really it's not to discuss him or how he treated me, but more to update them when they ask if he has filed anything new with the courts). There is a no contact order in place for him, so I don't have to worry about him sending nasty messages, emails, phone calls, etc. anymore. The only time I need to contact him is to give him notice of when DD and I will be out of state and those letters are simply stating the facts of the trip. When XH does arrange to have a visit with DD it is through a supervising agency (so, again we have no direct contact) and I try to always say yes to the visit time proposed unless there is a hard conflict that I cannot change. Also, if DD has a visit with her father I make sure to pack diapers, snacks, and her blankie/special toys so that her visit is as comfortable as possible.
So, yes, considering the complexity of my situation with my XH, I believe I am very civil...but I also don't really harbor any anger or ill-feelings toward him anymore; I hate how he treated me and I hate even more how he treated DD, but I also know that all that is in the past and that I'm so much happier now and DD is in a healthy, stable, safe, loving environment now.
I have made every attempt to be but he keeps lying TO me and ABOUT me to others which has resulted in me telling him off a couple times. But things have calmed down recently after his sister told him that he was wrong and needed to stop lying. So I'd say we're okay at the moment and I really hope it stays that way.