Me & my husband are having MAJOR problems out of our families & other people for our baby name! We picked Julian but chose to spell it differently, my husband really loves it because he chose it and I love it because its is just charming to me and I love the way my husband looks when he tells people the name and says he picked it! But we are getting very rude feedback the most popular seems to be that it is a sissy name and he will be gay when he grows up and children will pick on him for this name when in my opinion I think it is actually a very normal name! Its even gotten so bad that when I log on my facebook I have several messages from different people with their own baby name list with names that are "similar" I am not the kind of person that will change something just because other people don't like it, I have tried the "please stop", "you can name a baby when you have your own", 'your being rude", etc but these don't seem to deter people and mommy brain has the best of me and I can't think of anything. PLEASE HELP!
**BTW I do not care if anyone thinks that I should stick to the traditional spelling it will not make it difficult nor longer it is a simple change and NO that is not why my & my husbands family hates it so please unless you are leaving something nice to say or a comeback don't post that you think I should leave it alone this all goes back to it being my baby. For everyone else who has posted encouraging things and other things to help me I thank you so much
Re: Comebacks for people who don't like your baby name
Wow, it sounds to me like these people aren't very good friends to have! As for your family, I'm suprised that they've crossed such a line.
If I were you, I would stop talking about the name. Ignore your friends/family when they try to send you messages, and change the subject when they bring it up in person. When someone asks you what you've chosen - say you don't know yet.
Really, the name is a personal decision. Anyone else's opinion doesn't mean squat, so you shouldn't give them the benefit of knowing that it affects you. When the baby is born, name it what you want. People won't have a choice but to stop harassing you about it by then because what's done is done.
BFP 5.31.2011 ~*~ Michael Joseph ~*~ BORN 2.8.2012
That one is definitely a secret =D
If you are really trying to make a point, you could try "interesting that you would say that, do you ever wonder if someone said that to your parents when they chose your name"... Otherwise, try to let it go, your child will sense the love and pride you have in his name when you say it, and that is what matters.
We are having a similar issue. I just tell my family that once they meet him, they will love him and he will own the name. Last time I checked people didn't form personalities based on their name.
Also, I LOVE the name Julian. It's NOT a sissy name at all, and you can spell it however you want.
Honestly, my family wasn't thrilled with my name choice at first, but as soon as I made it clear that I was set on it they backed off and got behind me on it. I think that whom ever is making these comments is being incredibly immature and disrespectful. Your child, your right to pick the name. Also the idea that your child's name could make them gay is ridiculous, and personally I don't care if my kid is gay. I will love him regardless so I think that is a silly point for them to even make.
As far as getting them to stop I would express that they are making you feel like garbage and it is completely disrespectful. If that doesn't work, just stop telling people the name altogether. Hopefully they will get that they are being jerks!
M/C October 25th 2010. Its been almost 6 years since I said goodbye
We were joking around and I told some people we were naming our kid a name that I knew people would hate, that way when we really tell them what we picked it will sound better than the first name:) I'm super evil!!!!!
We decided on Evan James for a boy and Evelyn Grace for a girl. I don't care what people think, we picked these names out the same week we found out we were having a baby. I don't think these names are crazy or sound horrible, but of course that's my opinion. We still like the names and have only gotten positive comments. Its your child and you will be the one calling your childs name a lot. I didn't like my sisters pick but its not my baby. I think your name you have picked out is great! I don't think its anything outragious or odd.
Ignore, ignore, ignore. If you love the name, who cares about what other people say.
Most of my son's preschool classmates have very unique names. It's actually hard to find kids with old fashioned names. My son's name is classic, but very rare in this country. Some people said he'll be picked on at school or whatever, but I love it, and I get a lot of compliments too.
I always think the most important thing is to raise my son to be a good person. I'm certainly not going to raise my kids to be someone who make fun of other people's names.
Proud mother of two breech babies:)
Samuel Jackson played the character Jules.. (I'm sure sort for Jullian)
and no body could call that guy sissy or gay
he even had a wallet that said he was a bad mother **&3
I don't know how much that helps .. but at least you can say hey this Jules was not a sisssy
I agree with the above.
If they are picking on the name just because it's Julian, then they are being immature. But if it is because you decided to spell it a 'uneek' way, then I can see why they may be criticizing your choice.
Purposely misspelling your childs name will make it hard on your child as they grow up, they will have to constantly correct people. The name is great if you stick to the traditional spelling.
The problem isn't the name you picked. It's the narrow minded and obviously extremely homophobic a-holes that you are surrounded by.
ETA: FTR I agree with PPs who think that you should just spell it the normal way rather than trying to be uneek about it. I would say that to anyone who butchered an otherwise nice, normal name though.
You could try telling people you're considering other things if you wanted and then just named him Julian anyways. Once he's named, they'll all have to suck it up anyways.
That's terribly rude of them and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
I had a few people dislike my name and I told them it's my child and her father and I will be the ones to name her. Whatever we choose, goes. They are entitled to their opinions but they either already named their own children or they will in the future.
EXACTLY this. It's a great name, it doesn't need a "uneek" spelling.
This. Please use the traditional spelling. I have a very slight variation in the speeling of my name (but still VERY common) and it annoys me because it is always spelled incorrectly.
That being said, we don't tell anyone names until after LO comes.
Julian is a very normal name. My first boyfriend's name is Julian and he is far from gay. LOL. What you name your child is your business. The one person that I have told the names we have picked out hates both of them...and I dont really care. My DH and I both like them and that's all that really matters. That being said we arent telling anyone else the names until after the baby has been born and named.
I would post a message to whoever keeps saying rude things pretty much saying they are entitled to their opinion and since its your child you are entitled to like whatever name you like, and you aren't interested in anyone else's thoughts and tell people to stop sending you list of names they like (because some of those you think are absolutely horrible and would never consider naming your child that) and be done with it.
What is the spelling you were intending on using? I've seen Julian also spelled Giulian, and I'm fairly certain that is also a traditional way of spelling it in different countries.
My daughter has a traditional male name with a traditional female middle name. Before she was born, my mother insisted she would never call her by her name, and would call her Sophia or Maxine instead. I told her she wouldn't end up seeing her at all if she did that. I had to remind her that I get naming rights to the things that come out of my vag.
No one has said anything to us about it since she was born (except thinking records are wrong and she's really a boy, but we knew we would have to deal with that). Her name fits her perfectly, and I can't imagine having named her anything else, despite the opposition we got while I was pregnant with her.
This just brightened my day!
That is not why they are criticizing it and actually it is not a complicated way way to spell it at all thank you
Well this also goes back to it ebing my baby and I will name it what I want, I asked for things I could tell people to get off my back not for people to tell me they think I should keep it traditional, thank you
Ummmm....
A 'sissy' name has nothing to do with someone being gay. The people around you sound pretty homophobic and dense.No surprise since usually those two characteristics go hand-in-hand with each other.
When I hear the name Julian, I automatically think of John Lennon's first born son Julian...I don't get a 'sissy' vibe from it at all. I would just keep telling people to STFU and stop being so homophobic and narrow-minded.
I'm so glad you said something about this! I HATE when I post something and ask a very specific question and people take liberty to comment on things there were not at issue. I'm convinced some people just get off on being rude (especially when they can hide behind a computer screen). I agree its your baby and you can name him/her whatever you want and spell it however the heck you want. Yes, I have seen some names and spellings that have made me go "hmmmmmm" but so what? It's not my child, so it is what it is.
My name is spelled stupid too. there is a story behind why but its still a headache and no one knows what to call me, it even gets printed wrong on cards because people assume i wrote it wrong!
With all due respect, you put this out on the internet for people to read. It's ridiculous to think that you can control how people will respond to it.
I think we all know you will do whatever you want, but that doesn't mean people can't have an opinion. If you didn't want people to bring it up, you could have easily left that part out.
Tell them it's coming out your vagina, so you get the final say.
Name the kid and spell it however you want. Your family and the people on this board will get over it.
Can't wait to meet Molly!
Wow. How incredibly rude. Well, for starters, you are now released from having any decorum with these people on the topic. If they're going to be rude, why be civil back?
We decided not to share any names at all with anyone for this reason. When she gets here, we'll announce the name. If people have a problem with it or turn their nose up, then I have no problem telling them they're being rude and disrespectful.
Also, it's up to you how to spell it. It won't make a kid's life -hard-. That's silly.
And for the record, Julian is an awesome name. I know a very successful graphic designer named Julian who is amazing. He's creative, but not a sissy. Sheesh, what's wrong with people.
You can respond with any of the following:
1) Completely ignore it. In fact, aggressively ignore it and say, "That's too bad. Hey, did you ever get that ugly crooked tooth of yours fixed? Oh... I guess not."
2) Confront the person and tell them they are rude and thoughtless and if they have a problem with the name they can keep it to themselves.
3) Tell them they do not need to see your son if they don't like the name. And if they choose to be in your life and your son's, then you don't want to hear another word about it. This worked for my husband's Aunt. She didn't let up about hating her grandson's name until they confronted her and told her she didn't need to see him if that's the case.
4) That's okay. I've always disliked your name too.
5) Well, you (or your husband, son, brother, etc) have a sissy name and turned out fine.
6) What is wrong with you and what makes you think that doesn't hurt my feelings? Shut up.
https://www.TheCreativeHomestead.com
Aw, that's terrible! I'm afraid of getting bad feedback when we finally find out the sex of our baby and possibly reveal the name. I've told a couple people who wouldn't judge what the names are, and they love them, but I'd be really pissed off if someone said something judgmental. These hormones could make me crazy....
I'd definitely stay away from discussing the name at all until you get it all legal in the paper work with your beautiful baby boy in your arms! Stupid jerks being all stupid!