Babies: 3 - 6 Months
shellpep3
member
Help! ... 4.5 month old fights sleep
shellpep3
member
It takes us over an hour each evening to put our DD down to sleep. We have our bedtime routine, bath, nurse..she usually falls asleep nursing and then as soon as I put her down in her crib she wakes up and then crying begins. She fights going to sleep. I don't want to let her CIO. What can I do?? 
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Re: Help! ... 4.5 month old fights sleep
What time are you putting them down? I was rocking for sometimes 45 minutes when I finally tried the bedtime routine a little earlier. Lately it hasn't been as bad as it was for awhile there. If he doesn't fall asleep after his bottle we just rock for a few minutes and he seems to just sort of konk out.
I did try CIO for a few days out of desperation and exhaustion from rocking/carrying LO bc he is getting so heavy! But he wasn't ready/able to soothe himself to sleep.
I am not breast feeding anymore, but when I was I read a book (?) that talked about the "dead arm". I followed this. The rule is, if you are nursing baby to sleep then you need to wait until you lift their arm and it just drops, "dead arm", before you can put them in their crib.
I am now FF and I put her down awake (5 months old). The first week, we let her cry for 10 minutes and then offered a pacifier. Now we put her to bed awake and she is out!
My DD occasionally (at least once a day for naps) doesn't fall asleep nursing, she's drowsy, but just won't go the full distance. This is what has been working for me.
Lay her in crib - she'll start to cry right away
Immediately pick her back up and pat her back for 1 min
Lay her down (she'll start to cry), and keep my hands on her for 30 sec, then pick up and pat her back again.
Pat back for 2 min and lay her down.
Rinse repeat, increasing the time after each pickup that I pat her back, and increasing the time I let her cry with my hands on her when I lay her down.
Usually after 3-4 cycles of this, when I lay her down, she just doesn't cry, or she'll quiet herself while I have my hands on her.
Edit: just to add, when I first started this pick up/put down routine it took about 30 min to put her to sleep (max hold time was about 3 min, just kept the same time periods). 2nd day it took about 20 min, now she is generally asleep in 5-10 minutes. I can see a time where I lay her down and I don't have to pick her up at all, she's fallen asleep twice now on first lay down.
Derek - February 2013 Caelyn April 2011
You don't want to let her CIO but there isn't really a way that she's going to learn to go to sleep without some crying. At her age, she's aware of her surroundings and KNOWS when you put her down. Some babies can be put to sleep with gentle sh-pat, no cry solution but it doesn't sound like that's your babe. It sure as hel! wasn't mine so I did CIO (was taking up to 4 hours a night to put him down). Do some research and read some books (Ferber, Weisbluth, Mindell) and find what works for you.
Here's a quick Weisbluth primer:
First night: Choose an early bedtime, the earlier the better and go through a short bedtime routine (book, song, done). Put baby down, say goodnight, love you and leave the room. Wait 3 minutes and check back placing your hand on baby, say good night, love you and leave. Wait 5 minutes, repeat, then wait 10. Go back in intervals of 10 until asleep.
Second night: Early to bed! Start with 5 minutes, then 10, and max out at 15 until baby sleeps. This night will be hardest, probably. It was for us.
Third night: Intervals of 10, 15, 20.
Fourth night and beyond (if you even need it): Start with 15, 20, 25. But you are probably not going to need it.
There will be crying and it will SUCK the first few nights but it does work.