He cheated (found out after the fact), lied, was emotionally abusive, borderline physically abusive (except he's a little troll and I could have taken him), had no concept of personal hygiene, and wasted money. I'd say "all of the above", but I never cheated.
I picked that it just wasn't working. That's the best way to put it because it wasn't anything like drugs or cheating. It was just a bunch of problems.
I put it just wasn't working because it was multiple things for me too. I had some medical issues and he didn't want to deal with them. I was tired of his behavior. It was getting to the point of some emotional abuse. We were in two different places and no way to meet in the middle.
I picked that he was emotionally/physically abusive. Which is true. I was always the one to blame, I was the b!tch, I was the reason he couldn't party and drink all the time. Really it boiled down to the fact that he was a bipolar boy who couldn't and wouldn't grow up to become a real father.
He ended up telling his family that he didn't think DD was his. Which we were engaged and I do not cheat. After we split up I found out he had cheated on me, while 12 weeks PG, with my DD's godfather. Yes, I did just say godfather.
I'll take D, all of the above, Alex, oh except I did not cheat.
Cheating, emotional abuse, lying, drug addiction, living a double life, and basically just being a rotten human being. All of that aside, we were simply completely wrong for eachother, pretty much from the get go.
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However, our relationship had an end date if I'm truly honest with myself. We had vastly different goals and I didn't realize how spread apart there were. Mostly about finances and the future.
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Abuse was the absolute deal breaker. I found out he cheated, but not until much later, money was always an issue, but not a deal breaker, he drank and smoked more and more as our marriage went on and that could have been a dealbreaker. The physical, verbal, and emotional abuse was constant and my last straw was seeing him start to abuse our DD; at that point I left and never looked back.
He was emotionally (and occasionally physically) abusive. He was a liar and I felt like I couldn't count on him for ANYTHING, and he's an alcoholic. Top that with money problems and beating our heads against a wall trying to work it out and you've got one major train-wreck. Sad, but true.
You are all very strong and inspirational. I'm in a weird spot right now because I know that my reasons for leaving are not as severe as most. I know a lot of women would put up with some of the things I will not. I wonder sometimes if I am being too picky, and I wonder if there is someone else out there for me. I live in an extremely small town where people marry and stay together, even if they are not happy. There are next to no single people, and pretty much no where to meet people. H still wants to be with me, but I just don't know if I can or want to work on it.... I feel like I've been doing that for years, and the lies got worse. This last one ended with him not paying the one bill he was responsible for, getting put in collections, racking up a large OD, almost having the insurance on my car cancelled (I found out 5 days before it was to be cancelled), lying about phone calls from collections (they were telemarketers apparently....) lying and hiding letters from the insurance company and the banks, and lying to my face even as I was looking at the NSF charges, etc online. All of this even though we had the money....Yep, found this all out within one hour a few months ago....Oh and found out he had been lying about this one situation for over 6 months.....There are other problems too, but this was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. Financial infidelity? I am afraid I will not be able to find someone, or that I will regret someday not trying harder, but right now I don't want to try. Does this make any sense?! LOL I sometimes wish he would have cheated on me. No one would question my reasons and I would never look back. My heart says go. My head says this could be the best you come across, and you have a dd. You know, the devil you know type thing. Anyways, that's enough rambling....! Have a great night everyone!
I picked emotional abuse. R and I were confined to a room not allowed to talk to anyone because that would make me a cheater. To STBXH R was better off dead and I was only good for sex. I could have also gone with money problems because my money was his money and his money was his money. So, yeah that's my situation in a nut shell.
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Re: Clicky poll!
So many to choose from...
He cheated (found out after the fact), lied, was emotionally abusive, borderline physically abusive (except he's a little troll and I could have taken him), had no concept of personal hygiene, and wasted money. I'd say "all of the above", but I never cheated.
I picked that he was emotionally/physically abusive. Which is true. I was always the one to blame, I was the b!tch, I was the reason he couldn't party and drink all the time. Really it boiled down to the fact that he was a bipolar boy who couldn't and wouldn't grow up to become a real father.
He ended up telling his family that he didn't think DD was his. Which we were engaged and I do not cheat. After we split up I found out he had cheated on me, while 12 weeks PG, with my DD's godfather. Yes, I did just say godfather.
I'll take D, all of the above, Alex, oh except I did not cheat.
Cheating, emotional abuse, lying, drug addiction, living a double life, and basically just being a rotten human being. All of that aside, we were simply completely wrong for eachother, pretty much from the get go.
My ex cheated on me.
However, our relationship had an end date if I'm truly honest with myself. We had vastly different goals and I didn't realize how spread apart there were. Mostly about finances and the future.
Thanks ladies!
You are all very strong and inspirational. I'm in a weird spot right now because I know that my reasons for leaving are not as severe as most. I know a lot of women would put up with some of the things I will not. I wonder sometimes if I am being too picky, and I wonder if there is someone else out there for me. I live in an extremely small town where people marry and stay together, even if they are not happy. There are next to no single people, and pretty much no where to meet people. H still wants to be with me, but I just don't know if I can or want to work on it.... I feel like I've been doing that for years, and the lies got worse. This last one ended with him not paying the one bill he was responsible for, getting put in collections, racking up a large OD, almost having the insurance on my car cancelled (I found out 5 days before it was to be cancelled), lying about phone calls from collections (they were telemarketers apparently....) lying and hiding letters from the insurance company and the banks, and lying to my face even as I was looking at the NSF charges, etc online. All of this even though we had the money....Yep, found this all out within one hour a few months ago....Oh and found out he had been lying about this one situation for over 6 months.....There are other problems too, but this was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. Financial infidelity? I am afraid I will not be able to find someone, or that I will regret someday not trying harder, but right now I don't want to try. Does this make any sense?! LOL I sometimes wish he would have cheated on me. No one would question my reasons and I would never look back. My heart says go. My head says this could be the best you come across, and you have a dd. You know, the devil you know type thing. Anyways, that's enough rambling....! Have a great night everyone!