TTC After a Loss

Introduction (long)

I have been seeking some sort of comfort from this site for a little while and thought it was time to introduce myself. Just to warn people I did have a full term baby, not a m/c or a stillborn. I don't want to upset anyone by my story and maybe I don't belong here since most of you lost your babies much sooner than I did. I know how lucky I am to have had her living and breathing for 5 days, but I still lost her. She would be 2 months old today.  
 
Our little Eleanora was born perfectly healthy on June 17, 2011.. We brought her home on Father?s day. She filled our lives and home with so much joy and happiness. She had jaundice and was under the phototherapy at the hospital on her last day there, but we were cleared and able to go home with no further treatment. We woke up Wednesday just like any other day in our new lives. I was feeding my precious baby when I noticed she was really yellow. I brought her into to my husband, Nick, to see if it was just me. So we called the pediatrician right away and they brought us in. When we were putting her in her car seat I noticed she was a little limp, but she was still breathing and her heart was still beating. We waited in the waiting room for what felt like forever. The doctor rushed in and then my life crashed. He said she was no longer breathing and started doing CPR. They called 911 and eventually we were taken by ambulance to the hospital. I knew it wasn?t good when the driver didn?t turn the siren on, but I was trying to stay hopeful that the ER doctors could do something. In the ER they worked on her for more than 45 minutes with no change. She never breathed on her own. It was, as you can imagine from your own experience, surreal. I felt like I was watching a movie or an episode of Grey?s Anatomy. They put me in her stretcher and handed her over to me. She was still warm and still so perfectly beautiful. It still doesn?t feel real.
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Re: Introduction (long)

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I saw your post in the OP below and hoped you would start your own post. Will they be running tests so you can have some answers? You can see from my ticker that we lost my DD at 14 days old and had no idea when I was pregnant that she was sick and didn't find out until her 1 week check up, so I can completely understand the shock and grief that you are probably experiencing. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk Left Hug The ladies on this board are awesome and I hope you can get some comfort and support from their kind words.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
    DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  You are more than welcome on this board, your loss  is still the loss of a much wanted child that you loved.  (((HUGS))) 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Stepmom to: Lizzie (4); Justin (10); and Cameron (13)
    Mom to 3 angels: Baby 1 MC 2/13/09 @ 7 wks; Baby 2 CP 11/5/10 @ 5 wks;
    and Brendan - Late Loss 4/27/11 @ 20 wks

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • I'm not sure I have the words to express how sorry I am for your loss. Welcome to the board. I hope you find great comfort here.
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  • I am new here, too, but wanted to say I am so so sorry for your loss.  I hope you will heal and find peace soon - sending big hugs your way.
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  • They did an autopsy and called me the day of the service to ask a bunch of questions. It was horrible. My OB got an initial report that she had to fight for and the baby's right nostril was completely blocked. It doesn't seem like the cause of death though. My MIL talked to a neonatal doctor and she mentioned a bile duct blockage, but I am not sure who to take that information to. We have not gotten the full report back yet. It should be here soon though. She was perfectly healthy as far as we know. Thank you for your reply and kind words.
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  • I am so so sorry for your loss. Of course we will welcome you here with open arms, you need support right now! ((hugs))
  • So sorry for you loss and pain. Big hugs!
  • I am so sorry. I hope you find comfort and support here.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.. ((huge hugs))
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  • I am so so sorry about your loss, sending many hugs and much love your way. 
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  • So so sorry for your loss.  I hope you find the support you are looking for here.  
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  • I could never express how truly sorry I am for your loss. I know you will be welcomed here with open arms. ((Hugs))
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  • I am so sorry for the loss of Eleanora. I hope that this board helps you as it has so many. I also pray that you get some answers soon on what caused this to happen. Lots of hugs!!
    Married by best friend on May 15, 2010 First BFP (Honeymoon Baby) on June 8, 2010 Mackenzie Anne born sleeping on November 26, 2010 at 30 weeks Mackenzie had Congestive Heart Failure and Hydrops Fetalis; CP in April 2011 Waiting on our take home baby... http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2f3278 ****PGAL/PAL Always welcome**** BabyFruit Ticker
  • I wish I had the words to bring you comfort in this terrible time of loss.  I hope you find some peace here with others that have suffered losses too.  I know that I have.
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  • My goodness I am so so sorry for your loss. Loss doesnt even begin to describe what you have been through. I will pray for you and your family for strength each day . I have no advice because I didnt expirence my son being alive...I cant begin to even wrap my mind around that. Please take care of yourself. And I always have an open ear if I can help in any way. My heart breaks for you.

    Preston Cash my angel born sleeping @34 weeks 5-16-09
    BFP 9-16-11
    Married to DH since 11-2-08
    DD (9) DS (8)
    Jude Levi, My rainbow baby, born May 8th 2012. We are so in love!
  • Wow, I could not imagine being in your shoes, but you are by far welcomed here. So sorry about the loss of your little girl. There is some great support on these boards and many ladies with babies that lived days and weeks, so you are definitely not alone here.

    image
    Married August 9, 2008
    TTC Since September 2009

    1st   BFP | EDD 10/23/10 | Natural M/C 03/27/10 | 10w 0d
    2nd BFP 06/26/10 | EDD 02/25/11 | Natural  M/C 07/17/10 | 8w 1d
    3rd  BFP 12/17/10 | EDD 08/24/11 | Natural M/C 12/31/10 | 7w 4d
    4th  BFP 06/22/11 | EDD 02/25/12 | M/C D&C on 07/27/11 | 9w4d
    5th  BFP 09/17/11 | DD Paige Lily born 05/16/12
    6th  BFP 08/11/12 | EDD 04/11/13 | CP
    7th  BFP 09/29/13 | EDD 06/04/14 | Natural M/C 10/27/13 | 8w1d
    8th  BFP 12/16/13 | EDD 09/01/14

    DX: Pericentric Inversion of Chromosome 8 & compound heterozygous for MTHFR mutations
    RX: Lovenox/Heparin & Folgard

    image

  • Your story is absolutely heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl ((hugs)). Welcome and I hope you find the support and comfort you are looking for.
    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
  • I am so sorry for you loss and all you are going through right now.  You are in my thoughts. 
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. I hate how unfair life can be. I hope you are able to find comfort and support here. I'm so sorry
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  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. Of course you are welcome here. The ladies here are very supportive. I hope you are able to get some answers soon.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Welcome here, I hope you'll find some support and comfort as I have ((((hugs))))
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • So sorry for the loss of Eleanora...my heart breaks for you and DH.  I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

     

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  • I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope that you fnd some contort here.
  • My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some comfort and support here. These ladies have been amazing to me during the last few months. I can't imagine going through this without them.
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  • *DD mentioned*

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine what youre going through right now. My heart breaks for you and you'll be in my prayers. ((((((HUGS)))))) to you.

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  • I am so terribly to sorry to hear what you have been through.  I hope you will find comfort here.  T&P to you and your family.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Sending hugs, so sorry for your loss.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

  • How terrible, I'm so sorry you had to loose your little girl. This board is incredible, offering advice, support, laughter and sisterhood. I hope you find some comfort from us. Our "shoulders" are here for you.

    Henry Cavill...You're welcome!

    image

    BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
    BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
    **Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
    BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10

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    Anniversary



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