3rd Trimester
katerpies
member
Advice
katerpies
member
I know I still have a few more weeks untill the big day but what would you 2nd (3rd or even 4th etc) time moms wish someone would have told you about either labor, or after labor, or even after you come home? Im just curious as to any advice or things you wish you woulda known that no one told you. 
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Re: Advice
Ear plugs You won't hear the baby two doors down crying, the cart with the squeaky wheel,or the nurses talking down the hall while you are trying to sleep at night. You will hear your baby in the room.
A sleep mask to nap during the day.
Don't get so caught up with the anticipation of labor and delivery that you forget that you will actually be 100% responsible for a baby as soon as it is born. No matter what time of day or night that is. I feel liek I was so focused on getting DS out that when he was here and they handed him to me, I had this long moment of "um, what now?!".
I agree with PP, send the baby to the nursery at least one night. You will be up with him/her every couple hours if BFing anyway and that sleep early on makes such a difference after a long labor and delivery.
I completely disagree with the statement to send your baby to the nursery but thats just my parenting style. If you plan to breastfeed its proven that rooming in 24/7 is more successful. There are other ways to get sleep besides sending baby away.
1. That epidurals don't always work
2. How hard breastfeeding can be and wish I would have looked into exactly how the pump worked before I REALLY needed it.....thanks to the baby blues and feeling overwhelmed, what should have probably been easy to figure out was completely overwhelming to me.
3. If you have a vag. birth, make that peri bottle your BFF!!!!
Meh, again, DS was brought in every couple hours to BF the night we sent him to the nursery. We didn't have any BFing issues. We kept him in our room the 2nd night and I didn't sleep a wink. Too many new noises, worrying about whether he was still breathing and oh, he screamed throughout the entire night.
Send your baby to the nursery or don't. Whatever you are comfortable with. But don't feel guilty either way.
I agree and disagree with this..... at my hospital, everytime an infant makes a PEEP they are sending that baby down to mom to nurse. With DS2 (I was alone every night b/c H was home with DS1) they were literally bringing him down every single hour all night where it got to the point I got more sleep having him in the room. If you ask that they bring the baby down to you every 2 hours you should be fine. I think many first time moms would have difficulty relaxing enough to sleep, knowing their brand spanking new baby is right there....so do what you need to get some sleep! You have PLENTY of time for mommy guilt in the future!!! Not to mention, not everyone BFs!
I didn't say that everyone that sends their baby to the nursery would have BF problems. I agree no one should feel guilty about what decision they make but I wanted to offer my opinion just as you did.
And the 2nd night most babies fuss, my hospital staff even gave an information sheet specifically about the dreaded "2nd night".
Bleeding - Maybe it was because I hadn't gotten to this part of my book (DS came at 37 weeks) - but I had no idea how much I would bleed after delivery. It was a shock to me.
Bring your own clothes - I wish someone would have said I could wear my own clothes (after delivery). The nurse finally told me I could after I took my shower - and it was a godsend!
I didn't bond right away with my son. I felt like a terrible mother. Like I wasn't doing something "right". I was incredibly emotional while in the hospital. I had no idea it was normal to possibly feel like this. My son's doctor, who happens to be my primary (not OB though) came in to check on him, and I broke down. Thankfully she was amazing and comforted me and told me it was normal. I thought I was just going crazy.
1-Your birth "plan" is actually just a wish list. You HAVE to be willing to bend a little, but you also have to know when to advocate for what you want.
Example: If LO gets stuck in the birth canal and is in distress, the doctor may have to use forceps/vaccuum to get LO out, and thats for LOs safety, not your comfort...BUT, and i say BUT if everything is going fine and you want to change positions or walk and the nurses insist you stay in bed...advocate for yourself and walk to help move things along
2-Eat something before you go to the hospital, once you get there it is just ice chips and maybe popsicles. Some people may disagree with me, but i labored for 26hours total, and 18 of them i was not allowed to eat. I was STARVING!!!
Now THIS I compltetely disagree with. Way to make moms feel like crap if they want to get a good night sleep, especially after labor- some woman can literally be awake for days before having their baby. There is NOTHING selfish about wanting to be well rested for your baby, so you CAN take care of your baby. You sound like a Mommy martyr in the making.
I disagree with this. DH being in the room with me was a huge amount of support. We roomed in for the most part, and he took care of (and bonded with) our son. I ended up with a c/s, and couldn't lift our son out of his bassinet - so he was thrown (happily) into daddy mode.
No one sleeps well in a hospital, with the beeping, and people checking on you. But I doubt you will sleep much better at home for a few weeks/months
Also, don't bring anything that you aren't willing to toss out due to fluids/blood, in terms of linens.
Maybe I am a naive FTM, but this is just IMO. I just think that I've waited so long to meet her I don't want to send her away to strangers. I think that knowing she is in another room than with me will make me get less sleep. Again, this is just IMO. To each their own. My post was never meant to make anyone feel guilty. Maybe my choice of wording wasn't correct. I apologize if I made anyone feel guilty!
There isn't always a 'right way'. Trust your gut. Do what feels right to you, your baby, and your new family. When you get home, and you are overwhelmed and tired and there doesn't seem like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, try really really hard to find humor. DH & I stood in the laundryroom with DS1 the 2nd night home laughing at how tired, stupid, and incompetent we both felt. Know that you are not alone. The baby will stop crying, will start eating, will sleep through the night, will love you, will smile, will get a tooth, will roll over, will talk, will walk, will spell, will read. Not today, but eventually. Enjoy the ride.
David "BD" 2/8/07 Spencer 9/12/11lol, this is hilarious. Appreciate the sleep while you can, you won't be getting any when you get home - and this is coming from someone whose kid STTN at 6w. Appreciate it when th nurses save you from changing a meconium diaper or two. Appreciate it when you are allowed to eat an entire meal undisturbed... for the last time in a long, long time. Yes, you sound naive.
Incidentally, saying that you find this to be selfish is, in fact, an attempt to make people feel guilty.
Selfish my ass. You're going to be a peach of a martyr mommy aren't you?
Check to make sure your hospital even accepts babies in the nursery. When DS2 was born, we were not allowed to send them to the nursery at night. We had to room with baby, no other choice. so look in to that! I wish i could have had more rest in the hospital, especially since we were in there for 5 days.
I'd be educated on things that can happen after baby is born - like Jaundice for instance. my son had it and had to be in a biliruben table for 5 days. I barely got to hold him unless he was nursing. I didnt expect it and it really upset me. i was so worried, i wish i would have been more educated.
Yes, this is why the OP was asking for 2nd time or more moms advice. This is the opinion of someone who has not gone through labor yet! You will figure it out soon enough!
Completely disagree! I sent DD1 to the nursery that first night and the nurses brought her to me when it was time to eat. I successfully breastfed her for 22 months with no issues whatsoever.
FTM??
Go Phils!!
I wish I had thought more about what to do after labor and delivery. Here's this crying little baby and she's all mine. It was wonderful but would have helped if I maybe read up a bit on what to expect those first couple of days.