3rd Trimester

My mother wants my SISTER to name LO?

Yea...so not happening!

I was talking to her about what to name LO, and of course she hates the name that i love, but idc...me and DH will decide. I love my mother, but she had her kids and named us what she wanted and now its my turn. But my mother is insisting that i let my 21yr old sister pick LOs middle name because Mother let Aunt pick my sister's middle name! Well that was her choice...it went down like this:

(text msg convo) 

Me: "Sister did not have a say in DS's name, and she will not with this one"

Mother: "Well she didnt have a say because YOU didnt let her, ya think????????" 

Me: "Exactly, Sister will have kids of her own one day and then it will be her turn to name them"

Mother: "Well you better remember how selfish you are being in case you ever want to name her kids, especially since she is your only sister!"

Me: "Oh im sorry, i didnt realize that not letting Sister name the child that me and my husband created, i am carrying, and we will be raising is selfish! Sister lives in massachussetts and will hardly see LO so why is she entitled to anything?!" (i am in florida)

She didnt reply...WTF??? I dont want to name my sisters future kids, they will be HER kids! Next my mother will be asking me to let Sister chose how to go about vaxing DD! 

*Note, When my family came down to visit (they live 6hrs away, Sister lives several states away from us all), Sister decided that she was going back to college early instead of visiting with me, DS, and DH...and i owe her something...NO!

Sorry this got so long...just venting

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Re: My mother wants my SISTER to name LO?

  • I hate that crap!

    My sister gave my mom a name "suggestion" for my baby. Mazzy Hannah.

    I told my mom that's not going to happen in a million years. Not only is that a horrible name, I would never let my sister choose MY CHILD's name.

    Wtf are people thinking?? 

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  • I would never let my brother (I only have a bro) name my child out of principle or tradition.  But if he came up with an awesome name, I wouldn't not pick it just because he suggested it.  So far, all the names my brother have come up with are a play on his name and that is not happening!
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  • Hmm, thanks but no thanks, mom, for trying to force the weird "tradition" onto your daughters.

    Does she have any idea how absurd that is?  I don't know very many parents who would consent to letting anyone else name their kids.

    Hopefully her lack of response is the end of it. 

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  • Hell no. I don't understand why people think anyone BUT the parents should choose a child's name. They are OUR children for crying out loud. Same goes for people trying to force "family" names, much like my IL's did. No thank you.
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  • imageNativeFloridian:

    Hmm, thanks but no thanks, mom, for trying to force the weird "tradition" onto your daughters.

    Does she have any idea how absurd that is?  I don't know very many parents who would consent to letting anyone else name their kids.

    Hopefully her lack of response is the end of it. 

     This!!

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  • You have to be kidding! Omg, no way. We chose our LO's name months ago and decided not to tell ANYONE. So it will be a big surprise and I didn't have to hear their opinions and input. We knew this was his name so didn't want to chance any negativity. People can be funny. GL!
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  • Seriously?   WTF? 

     

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  • I had a similar issue when DH and I were picking out our LO's name.  His parents, his grandmother, grandmother's sister, and my sister and mother were all convinced that they even had half a say in what we named LO.  His grandmother's sister actually announced at our baby shower that had LO been a girl, she'd have been the one to name her... which resulted in me immediately responding with "No... we didn't like the name, sorry.  If it'd been a girl, we'd have still picked out our own name" in front of everyone.  What in the world is with family members that gives them the idea that they have any right to actually name a child that they didn't help create?

     So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"

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  • That's just ridiculous! However, my oldest brother did choose our boy's name. This was only because a week before our anatomy u/s, we still didn't have a boy name (we came up with a girl name very early and easy). DH and I were down to 2 names...I liked one and he liked the other so my brother started coming up with a bunch of boy names for us to think about. But he was only giving us ideas...not trying to tell us what we had to name LO. Stand your ground on this....your mom is being disrespectful of your choices. Best of luck when LO gets here!
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  • I don't get why you would care whether you get the chance to name your sister's kids? Kind of a funny notion your mom has.
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  • imageangel2288:

    Mother: "Well you better remember how selfish you are being in case you ever want to name her kids, especially since she is your only sister!"

    This made me laugh.  I am a firm believer that if you want to name something, get your own kids, or puppy.

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  • Even if your sister lived right next door and was your absolute BFF, she still wouldn't have the right to name your child. That is crazy cakes. Your mom's weird, lol, no offense.

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  • imageCalinsBride:

    Even if your sister lived right next door and was your absolute BFF, she still wouldn't have the right to name your child. That is crazy cakes. Your mom's weird, lol, no offense.

    The only sibling we would have to name the child is DH's brother and since we both can't stand him, this would never happen. 

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  • Oh wow!!  I can't believe your mom would be like that.  That's ridiculous!!  Surprise
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  • Ok - I agree with you.  That's totally odd.

    Although our son't middle name will be my brother's name, because he is awesome.  But certainly not because he asked!

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  • My brother tried to tell me I couldn't use our Mother's name as our daughter's middle name, because she passed away last year.  He thinks none of us children should be able to use it.  I pretty much just blew it off, because you would think it would be more of a reason to use her name since she's now gone.  He thinks if one of us uses it then no one else can.  I told him I would be more than happy if he and our sister also use it for their future daughters. Our children will never get to know our mother, so it is especially important to carry on her name somehow.  Too bad he doesn't get a choice in naming my child, since he is not the one making, carrying, or will raise this little girl. 


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  • Do pregnant women release a chemical that make everyone in the vicinity lose their minds?  I swear, it seems like everyone's families are concerned with their own feelings/agenda and not about the baby and his/her parents. 
    Married 08.19.06 ~ DS 9.30.11 ~ Baby #2 EDD 11.28.18

  • Weird!  Maybe she thinks this will be a way for you two to bond, since you guys don't sound like you're very close. 
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  • Wow.  I'd be venting too.  That is insane.  That's insane enough to be on some whack tv reality show.  Name Baby what you and hubby want.  Like you said you made her and you'll be raising her and paying for her till she's 18.   Best of luck to you.
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  • This suggestion is just plain crazy. Ignore it and change the subject any time she brings it up again. Your sister probably doesn't even care.
  • Your mom sounds like she's totally nuts. It's ridiculous of her to even suggest a thing.

    However, your response to her was pretty immature as well. I would have just stuck to your very first response, and then left it at that. A simple "This is OUR child, WE will be picking the name" should suffice.

  • That's absurd. I have simply stopped responding to the name question, too much drama it creates! People seem to think that they have every right to have a say in what you name your child; oh, you like that name? Well good, name yours that when you have one! My SIL is very sweet and supportive but she has been on the name thing for a while now and although I know she is just trying to help, I just want to tell her to drop it. She came over last weekend and asked if we had picked a name, when I told her we had narrowed it down to a few she replies, "Oh good, well I have a list of names that I like too that I brought for you!" It doesn't help that she keeps trying to push the name Ashton on us... YUCK. I'm sorry if anyone is naming their LO this, it's just not my cup of tea.
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  • Stick to your guns. Your child your names. Your Mom had her chance and dear sister will have her chance too.
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  • imagescarlettoctober:
    Do pregnant women release a chemical that make everyone in the vicinity lose their minds?  I swear, it seems like everyone's families are concerned with their own feelings/agenda and not about the baby and his/her parents. 
    NO KIDDING!!!! FOr me this is especialy true when it comes to my husbands family. they all seem to think it has something to do with them and dont seem to realize that this baby is a result of me and my husband not the family or the country or Mexico HAHA they will learn though as soon as shes born my husbands gonna lay down the law because otherwise we will never get alone time agian!!!
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  • imagehairspray77:

    Your mom sounds like she's totally nuts. It's ridiculous of her to even suggest a thing.

    However, your response to her was pretty immature as well. I would have just stuck to your very first response, and then left it at that. A simple "This is OUR child, WE will be picking the name" should suffice.

    This.  Is this the first time she's mentioned the idea of siblings picking the middle name, or was this something she always told you that she did with your names and wanted you to continue?  Sounds like she's trying to start a tradition.  Either way, there's no reason to get upset because she has no control whatsoever.  Just roll your eyes and say "no, mom, I'm not doing that." To the "well, I hope you know how selfish you're being" comment, just tell her "I am only interested in naming my own children."  Repeat as necessary.

  • Ugh, sometimes I really hate family.
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  • IT'S YOUR BABY!!  End of story, I love how people feel YOU need their input on what to name YOUR child! So annoying. There's this guy @ work that teases me about naming my child after him, even though it's a joke, it seriously annoys the crap out of me. Plus I just don't like the name he thinks I should name MY child, it's your baby and it's your choice on what to name it! People can give suggestions but when it comes down to it YOU will be making the choice of what you want your bundle to be named. Sometimes you have to tell people just to butt out!
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  • imageludicrous:
    imageangel2288:

    Mother: "Well you better remember how selfish you are being in case you ever want to name her kids, especially since she is your only sister!"

    This made me laugh.  I am a firm believer that if you want to name something, get your own kids, or puppy.

    This was my favorite part too. Like you're going to be stomping your feet and crying one day because you don't get to name someone else's child.
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