Just wondering because of DH being away I always think things would be so much better and easier if he was here. My mom was like: Dont get your hopes up, it wont make it easier.(Well of course you can say this if your husband was there, was what I thought) So I am just curious if your husbands are really a big help.
I am finally baby free for a little bit so I found some time for the bump again
Re: XP Is your husband really helping
I BF'd for the first 10 months, so feedings were all up to me. My DH was very helpful with bath time, dinner, cleaning, changing diapers, laundry, and most of all for mental support!!!
It depends on your DH. My friends that DH's don't do much around the house normally don't help out with the LO's at all either...
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I am in awe of any of you mommies doing it on your own - or even ones whose husband's have to work!
My DH is a teacher and he's home for the summer. He takes the night shift so I get 6-8 hours of sleep a night! He just brings her to me when she's hungry, and I feed her and hand her right back. He takes her and changes her, rocks her, holds her, etc. I don't know how I could do it without him!
pretty much this. DS is really active so DH will take him out to play and does a lot of the cooking. He has also taken on giving DS his baths which I always did and he will put DS to bed if I'm feeding DD. He has been a huge help, but about 5-6 days a month he is on call and I will be alone, including 1 weekend a month. That will suck especially when I start back work.
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Mmmm...cake!
I dont think i could do this without DH...i'm still on leave and he's gone back to work but he still does so much. Poor guy even went to work half asleep yesterday from taking over the night shift after i couldnt get her settled. We are currently dealing with reflux and gas issues so its a lot of holding/walking to get her asleep
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he arguably does more than i do! i am EP, but he does the majority of the feedings and diaper changes and he's been doing the night feedings since day one. i either sleep or wake up to pump when that happens.
he comes home for lunch everyday so i can eat and pump and just have a break.
he comes home early on days when the baby is fussy. and when he is home, he generally takes the baby for the whole time so i can catch up on laundry, make dinner, etc.
and every friday, he takes the day off of work and stays home so that i can have an entire day to myself. i will go do errands, or go shopping, or get a pedicure.
i'm very happy with our little set-up over here!
he helps but it isnt 50/50 or even 60/40 BUT he works full time, sometimes 15hr days and I don't work at all. Yes I still do get irritated though but it sure is nice not to have to work...
when he is off from work he does give me breaks though.
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When DH was off work for the first week and a half after DD was born, he was awesome. He cleaned, cooked, brought me meals, and did anything I asked for or needed. Now he is back at work, so obviously I don't have that during the day!
He is helpful when he gets home from work, but I do most of the baby "work." Honestly though, I know he has had a long and stressful day, so I try to give him DD when she's in a good mood and take her back when she gets fussy. He doesn't get to see her all day, so I want them to have some quality time that doesn't involve crying. We take turns making dinner. (I actually don't mind cooking if the baby is content/fed)
He takes her right before he goes to bed (she's usually in her fussy time by then) so that I can have a snack and brush my teeth, wash my face, etc. and have a break. Then I pretty much handle the bedtime routine (which consists of cluster feeding and walking, bouncing, rocking). If it's the weekend and I'm having a hard time with her, I'll wake him up to help. Also on the weekends he will take her when she's up early and walk her and the dog, which gives me a few precious hours more of sleep.
So, I'm content with the amount DH helps. Once I go back to work, things are going to have to change some.... but hopefully by then we will be on a more reliable schedule. While I'm off, I'm fine with doing the bulk of the work. I feel lucky, because I get to spend the most time with DD while she's in a good mood!
H is super helpful. If he wasn't he wouldn't be my H.
I'd probably say 90/10. I feed Xander (EBF), bathe him, change his diapers (except about 3x a week when DH does). I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, cut the grass, do the grocery shopping. DH works (I am on Mat leave) about 50 hours a week and does some repair work around the house and spends more time on the garden/yard then I do.
DH holds him when I have had enough or need to unload the dishwasher etc.
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It depends on the DH. I've heard that some don't help at all. Mine is great about housework...he does laundry, dishes, vacuuming, taking out trash. I just cook and grocery shop. For baby duties, feeding is all me, b/c I EBF (he does the occasional bottle). I take care of nights all on my own, b/c DH is working full time and I can catch up on sleep while he works. But after work and on weekends, he will change diapers, we do baths together, he holds/watches the baby while I run errands, shower, cook dinner. I have been able to get out to do some clothes shopping and to a book club on the weekends. I go back to work in about 6 weeks (possibly might stretch it to 10 more weeks if we decide I can do an additional 4 unpaid). Once I go back, depending how nights are, we might split duties differently (like he'll get up some nights, and I'll get up some nights). Otherwise, I am pretty happy with how things havebeen. I think I'd go nuts if he weren't around, I give you major props for doing it on your own.
This.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I am glad to see your post at the bottom bc as I was scrolling through I was thinking wow I'm the only one!