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girls6903 · June 2011

Hi! Just looking for some insight. I am 43 and a teacher. I have two wonderful girls, 12 and 14 and would like to have another baby. Because I teach I wanted to plan on getting pregnant in Aug or Sept so I could be off for the summer with my new baby. Since I am currently on Lutera I don't have a cycle at all. Also this is a new relationship and while I know I am fertile (at least I was 12 years ago!) I am not sure how fertile my partner is. (He does have a almost 16 year old daughter as well.) I have read other posts and ladies honestly, I don't know what some of the abbreviations stand for so I am lost. I have already had a check up with my OB/GYN and am taking prenatals plus continue to work out. Where do I start? Thanks!

Llamamama · June 2011

First of all... Welcome! Secondly there is a list of all the abbreviations under "Bump Board Glossary"--go to the bottom of the page on the left side of your screen.

I don't have much advice for you. I have been TTC for nearly 2 yrs with no luck but I think if you are going to go for it--you should start sooner than later. Good Luck to you!

HauntGirl23 · June 2011

First of all, stop taking that birth control! It may take you several cycles to start ovulating again so getting pregnant in August may not happen! Secondly, start temping. Many of us use Fertility Friend to log our cycles and it really is a great tool to use while trying to conceive. You can click on my cycle chart in my signature and it will take you directly there. The service is free to use but you can pay for some of the upgraded features if you are so inclined. I would also say after you stop taking the pill, get some blood work done. Check your FSH and progesterone. Your OB may have to put you on some meds to jump start your cycle again. LOTS OF STUFF TO DO!!!

All of us are here to help you and answer any questions you may have and offer suggestions. Best of luck to you in your TTC journey!

girls6903 · June 2011

Thank You! I found the glossary--things make much more sense now. I think you are right that it is a good idea to start sooner than later...Luck to you as well!

Mrs.McIrish · June 2011

I'm going to be blunt. Fertility rapidly declines after 35 and after 40 even more so. The fact that you had your girls 12 years ago means nothing now. If you are serious about this, you must stop birth control ASAP. You have no time to waste at 43. Planning a baby for a specific month may be difficult and/or unrealistic. You have to let go of the calendar as you may find getting PG at 43 to be the fight of your life. Nothing has worked out the way I "planned' it. I would immediately get day 3 bloodwork done (once you get your first period) and start with that. Check out fertility friend to chart your temperature and use ovulation predictor kits so you can focus sex at the right time.Note that treatment is very expensive if you don't have insurance coverage. Many insurers, even if you have coverage, wil exclude you from coverage due to age. I'm sorry if this is harsh. You may get lucky and get pg on your own quickly. I'm just a pessimist after my experience with this.

Best of luck to you.

girls6903 · June 2011

Thanks for the honesty. I didn't realize so many wonderful Mothers to be are having a hard time conceiving. Part of me is frightened to conceive too quickly. Both my SO and I have decided we would love to have a child together to add to our already blending family. You see, we currently plan NOT to get married and that will "upset" a great deal of people. But we also feel that is their problem and not ours. And if we are blessed with a baby in our 40's then that is just icing to us at this point. And it is hard for me not to be a "planner" and live by a calendar. Type A personality! But if I can share my thoughts with you, you don't sound pessimistic, perhaps just frustrated by the experience. I hope all changes in your favor.

Mrs.McIrish · June 2011

girls6903:
Thanks for the honesty. I didn't realize so many wonderful Mothers to be are having a hard time conceiving. Part of me is frightened to conceive too quickly. Both my SO and I have decided we would love to have a child together to add to our already blending family. You see, we currently plan NOT to get married and that will "upset" a great deal of people. But we also feel that is their problem and not ours. And if we are blessed with a baby in our 40's then that is just icing to us at this point. And it is hard for me not to be a "planner" and live by a calendar. Type A personality! But if I can share my thoughts with you, you don't sound pessimistic, perhaps just frustrated by the experience. I hope all changes in your favor.

I'm type A as well and that's part of why this has been so difficult for me! I got married a year ago, "planned" to get pregnant in Sept so I would have a June baby and have the summer off. Little did I know then what I know now! Check out PG >35 and you will find a bunch of 40+ moms who had no difficulty. There are just a lot of other women who weren't so lucky so my best advise is to no to wait to get off birth control. Even if you want to wait until Sept to actually try, get off Lutera and use condoms in the interim. It can take a while for your body to regulate once you stop the bc.

Mrs.McIrish · June 2011

PS: A lot of people are misinformed about women's ability to have kids well into the 40's due to Hollywood. A lot of stars are having treatment but don't talk about it. They claim it was natural but often that isn't the case. Donor eggs are used in many cases and again, it just isn't talked about.

BeckyP005 · June 2011

oh totally agree on your Hollywood aspect. I'm 43 and trying for a baby and my boss said, "well so and so got pregnant"! Yes but the stars are not telling all of us that they prob used donor eggs!!

Mrs.McIrish · June 2011

BeckyP005:
oh totally agree on your Hollywood aspect. I'm 43 and trying for a baby and my boss said, "well so and so got pregnant"! Yes but the stars are not telling all of us that they prob used donor eggs!!

It drives me nuts! I hate for young girls to think they have all the time in the world because of this false impression. The stars that do talk about it also have all the $$ in the world whereas regular Jane Doe can't shell out $15K-$20K per attempt (way more for donor eggs.)

HappyMrsK · June 2011

Welcome to the board!

I agree with a pp's about stopping the birth control. Also, I had a "plan" to get pregnant in a certain month too, but I've been TTC for a year now at age 35 with no luck. Some women have little to no trouble TTC, but sometimes it just doesn't happen according to plan and you end up feeling very frustrated.

lhcooper · June 2011

I'm with McIrish and others on the "get on this right away" bandwagon. I don't want to make you nervous but my RE said a woman at 43 or older has like a 1% chance of getting pregnant with her own eggs (and my friend who is married to a film editor in Hollywood confirms the rampant use of IVF and donor eggs). Now, my RE has a tendency to give out low statistics, there are exceptions to every rule, and everyone's body is different. But if I were you I would get right off the BCP and start trying immediately, as soon as you get your period. The best-laid plans go astray, and with fertility, they often don't go anywhere at all. But here's hoping you get lucky!!!

winidpu · June 2011

I second all the ladies. Don't wait another minute. I'm 37 and have been trying for a year and half with no luck. About 4 or 5 months in I realized just how hard it was going to be. All the reasearch and statistics are very sad and depressing to read at times. Hang in there and stay positive.

Country Girl in the City · June 2011

Welcome to the board. You have gotten some great advice. My one regret in this process is that I did not stop using BC sooner. When we first started trying I thought that we could schedule the baby to come in August so that it would work with DH schedule. Now I realized that scheduling is not going to work. He has leave time (including generous paternity leave) and he just has to use it when the time comes. If you are a type A person then either you will love fertility friend or it will drive you out of your mind. Good luck. I hope you have a short say here.

girls6903 · June 2011

Ladies:

I have to say that this board has been very enlightening and scary at the same time. Here I have been thinking that it was going to be easy and it might not be. This is all a bit overwhelming to say the least. Crazy catholic that I am I spent $20 bucks lighting candles at church today...for me and all of you that have been so caring to share your opinions and thoughts with me.

And I threw the Lutera away!

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