Good Afternoon Ladies. My husband has his SA scheduled for Thursday afternoon... and I'm nervous about the results. DH did a lot of bad things up until he turned 28... and I'm worried that all of that carefree living caused some permanent damage. I'm also worried that I'm going to be angry at him if his SA yields negative results.
Has anyone else gone through similar circumstances? If so, how did you handle it all?
Re: Sperm
Blog: Baby Mama's Drama
What kind of stuff are we talkin about??
Waiting for results is always nerve wracking.
Look at it this way though: There are plenty of guys out there with sperm issues who didn't do anything lifestyle-wise to create those issues. There are also plenty of guys out there who have done more drugs than Keith Richards and they have no issues getting someone PG.
At the end of the day, it's a crap shoot. Your H may have stellar sperm, he may have issues. If he does have issues, there's really going to be no way to know if his lifestyle choices caused the issues or if he would've had the issues anyway.
I hope his SA comes back with an A+. Good luck!
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
I would try really hard not to blame him. Like PP said, you have no idea if he did something to cause it, or if it was just the luck of the draw. Getting bad news on an SA is not easy for a man, and you need to be able to be as supportive as possible.
Fingers crossed he will have great numbers and you won't have to worry
TTC since 2010
lots of IUIs and 1 IVF all BFNs
FET currently on hold
My husband had a drug problem from his late teens until he cleaned up at age 28. He kept to himself and was actually abstinant for an 11-year block during that time (in response to a PP). My concern is that his drug abuse may have caused some permanent damage and I have been reading as much as possible about it online.
Word sista! What happened to make a leopard change his spots in 6 years?
Well that sucks but unfortunately he made the decision to be a drug user and you made the decision to marry a former addict. The two of you will have to deal with the consequences together but I'm not sure how you can be mad at him for things he did in his past when you married him (from what it sounds like) knowing full well what he had been into. Perhaps you should have looked into this earlier. Best of luck to you.
bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks
bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks
bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks
bfp 4 - 3rd IUI, very late BFN with super low P, c/p
bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron, baby born via RCS on 4.27.15 @ 39 weeks
bfp 6 - surprise! baby born via RCS on 11.13.16 @ 38 weeks
What she said. I mean my husband has like zero sperm, but that's not what I married him for and I'm sure as hell not going to be mad at him for it.
I'm sorry that you're stressed, but I really think you need to let some of this go. He made bad choices, but you chose to marry him. None of us are guaranteed to be fertile, even with making good choices our entire lives. DH rode motorcycles constantly and went in hot tubs, he drinks on the weekends. I'm not going to hold any of that against him if his SA shows issues. That's just not what you do. You get your results, work with the doc to figure out what can be resolved, and explore your options.
Surely, fertility isn't the only possibly lasting consequence of your husband's past drug use that you had to consider - he has a shorter life span, a chance at relapse and everything that comes with that. Deal with this the way you would hopefully deal with the other things: with compassion and love. And quite frankly, he could have had a less-than-stellar SA pior to the drug use - you'll never know. Another reason that you have to let this go.
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
Absolutely! I love him more than anything else in the world. What I had expressed to him last week when I learned of my own issues is that I waited so long to be ready to become a mom and I would hate to find out that the game was already over. If it's not meant to be for us, then we will work through it together.
You make some very valid points - thanks for this
Blog: Baby Mama's Drama
Also very good points here - I agree. I guess I really am just going overboard with my feelings on this. Thank you.
Very well worded, Mel
And I agree. When you get married, it is for better or for worse. Work through this together. GL
This!
Whoooo hoooooo! Congrats to your husband for staying clean and sober. So many of my friends have been on that journey, and I know it is not an easy struggle. You must be married to a very special man who can deal with such a difficult problem.
I'm sure that if he can deal with a substance abuse issue, and you can support him through it, that you will get through your TTC journey as a couple. You will be stronger and better off for it.
Good luck with the SA. I hope it comes out great! And if not, I am confident that you guys will work on finding the right solution for you to become parents.
BFP March 4, 2011, EDD November 7, 2011
Miscarriage suspected March 14, 2011 and confirmed on March 23, 2011
BFP June 19, 2011. EDD February 25, 2012
Miscarriage confirmed July 5, 2011
BFP January 1, 2012 EDD September 11, 2012
Hoping third time is a charm!