Babies: 0 - 3 Months
utgirl2
member
Anyone using the Baby Wise method?
utgirl2
member
Just curious how it is working out for you. I am thinking about doing it.
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Re: Anyone using the Baby Wise method?
Be prepared for flames...
The book is completely unreal... feed your baby when it is hungry... not because it is 'time'. You can have a schedule and not do babywise.
I dont do it, but my friend has a 4 year old and a 2 year old and swears by it- shes been looking for the book to loan to me.
Ah, Baby Wise. I may get flamed for this, but it's just my personal experience...
I was planning on it, but quickly realized it had no regard for what my child wanted/needed. I thought I'd had it all figured out after I read that book... before DS actually came into the world. Apparently he didn't read the same book as me. Shame on him!
I found Secrets of the Baby Whisperer to be MUCH more appropriate. It has some of the same concepts (eat then play then sleep), but it actually teaches you how to understand your child's cries (they are communicating, you just have to listen to what they are saying!) and to respect them as a real person with needs, rather than disregarding their needs entirely.
For me, when I was trying Baby Wise, I found myself just getting frustrated with DS for not sticking to my schedule. With Baby Whisperer, it taught me to slow down and listen to him, then provide what he needs. We're still on the eat, play, sleep, but we are both MUCH happier now!
I have two friends who used babywise, and it worked well for them, so they lent me the book. The one thing I really drew from it was to put the baby down before she falls asleep -- self-soothing is important to us. In terms of the schedule, my understanding is that babywise promotes a schedule tempered by the parents' judgment of the baby's needs. If my baby is hungry earlier than the schedule "allows," then of course, I would feed her. The idea is not to feed at every whimper and sign of distress -- it's to promote full meals and not snacking.
Did I misunderstand the method?
Anyway, we're not using any "method" at this point -- we're just feeding full meals when she's hungry (no snacking) and putting her down right when she's done eating, except if she's wide awake, and then we will "play" with her until she gets sleepy. It just seems to work well that way -- at least for now.
I don't know anyone who has used it, but the idea of trying to get your newborn (and yes, at two months, your baby IS still a NEWBORN) to adhere to YOUR schedule is laughable. How would you feel if your husband made you wait for a kiss because it wasn't time? Or if every time you called your mom or best friend to ask a question or just vent, she had to call you back later "because I'm too busy for you and you have to learn to self-soothe"?!
Imagine that the world is entirely new to you. You don't know what that thing is you're laying on. You don't know what you are, who you are or where you are. You don't know what laying down even is, for crying out loud! All you know is that your tummy hurts or you're scared! And you are telling the only person you know (but you don't even know they are a person or what that means) that you need something and all they do is leave you in a strange place to cry and cry and maybe even get so hot you run a fever!
To me that just seems like the worst thing in the world! As adults, we can grab something to eat when we're hungry or watch tv to wind down. A baby can't even say "eat," let alone open the fridge herself, so ladies! Pick up your babies! You have the rest of their lives to let them cry or be alone. Love them; they grow so quickly.
I really think Babywise is a cult.
It has been linked to failure to thrive. There are some really heartbreaking stories around. It isn't breastfeeding friendly - prepare to fail if you follow a set schedule and breastfeed.
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I appreciated what you had to say about Babywise because that's what i got out of it when i read it too. But now it's been a few months...how did it work out with you on a longer term basis? I have read several books and lots of the "controversy" surrounding each. I know that in reality it will come down to survival for a few months...