2nd Trimester

final update :(

Yesterday started off so wonderfully with a morning doctor's appointment that showed the baby had a very strong heartbeat, and I appeared to be making progress after my membrane rupture. I was having some minor period-type cramping at the time, but my midwife didn't seem concerned and said it was most likely just irritation from my rupture. I left the doctor in such a great mood.

As the day went on, the cramping was getting worse. By 4pm, the pain was horrible so off I went to the hospital. After giving a blood sample and hearing the baby's heartbeat (it was still strong), I was finally given some pain meds via IV. It helped a little, but wore off way too quickly and the pain kept progressing. I finally received results of my blood test, and they said my white blood cell count was double what it usually is which most likely means an infection. I was given an IV of antibiotics to combat the infection, and a promise that I would get stronger pain medication within 30 minutes.

 I never got to that second round of pain meds. I began having extremely intense contractions at 8pm, and my baby boy was born just a few minutes after. I didn't know the sex until that moment. Being so early, he was unable to breathe, but his heart was still beating. His heart was even still beating a few minutes later when we finally got to see and hold our baby for the first time, but it did not last. He only weighed 7.5oz, but he looked absolutely perfect, just so very very tiny. We named him Jameson Thomas.

 I miss him so much. I feel empty and like a part of me is literally missing. We are going to have a burial service Friday, and I am just trying to take things one moment at a time.

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BFP on 1/1/11; pPROM at 19 weeks; Jameson Thomas born on 4/5/11 at 20 weeks.

Imagine a love so strong that saying hello and goodbye the same day was worth the sorrow.
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Re: final update :(

  • I am so completely and utterly sorry for your loss. You don't know me, but my thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband, and Jameson. 
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  • I am so very very sorry for your loss. :( 
    Mommy to our sweet girls: Avery Terese 4/11/08 Lucy Elizabeth 9/10/09 BabyFruit Ticker BabyName Ticker
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  • I am so sorry for your loss.
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  • Oh sweetie. There are no words. I'm so very sorry. 
    image Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. - Mrs. G
  • I am so sorry for your loss! I've been through the loss of a baby, and yet I have no idea what to say. All I can say is it does get better. As hard as it may seem to believe that right now, I promise it does get better. I'm so sorry. My thoughts & prayers are with you, your husband and family. 
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  • Cannot say how badly I feel for you and your family.

    Maybe it would help to just think that everything happens for a reason? (Maybe that lil angel was spared other potential suffering)

    I know that our bodies usually don't naturally do this unless there is a reason.

    I know that this probably isn't comfort for you, I really wish we could know how to comfort someone after a loss. My heart goes out to you and ma God be with yo all and lessen your pain as much as possible.

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  • I'm sorry!! I feared the worst and hoped for the best. You are strong and I hope you guys get through this tough time.
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. If you ever need to reach out to others who have been through something as devastating, the miscarriage/pregnancy loss board is full of support when you're ready.
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  • I'm so, so sorry.  My heart is absolutely broken for you.  =(

    I was really, really praying for a miracle for you and your baby, and I wish there were something I, or any of us, could say that would ease the pain of your loss.  At least your tiny, perfect baby will never suffer, and you got to see him, feel him, know him for the short time he was here.  Hoping, now, that time will bring healing for you.

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  • My heart is with you... So sorry for your loss. Rest peacefully, Jameson.
    BabyGaga
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  • I am so sorry to hear what happened, but I hope it was a comfort to get to hold him. May his memory be a blessing. 
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  • atackatack member

    I am so terribly sorry for your loss.  I hope you are able to find comfort in your family and friends in this very difficult time.  God Bless your family.

     

     

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  • I am so, so sorry for you loss. ((hugs))
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  • Big Hugs and lots of prayers to you.

    I am so sorry.

    And if you ever want to talk about it, please send me a PM. I've been there.

  • I am SO sorry....
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss!  Lots of thoughts and prayers for you and your family as you go through this tough time!
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss. I was praying for you, your baby, and family. God bless your little angel. You'll both be together one day. Many, many thoughts and prayers to him and your family. I hope that you start to heal soon.
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. T&P
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  • :(  I am so sorry for your loss.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • There isn't anything I can say, but I am very sorry. I believe that you will see him again someday.
  • Oh, sweetie, I am so, so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Take care of yourself.
    Married 7/19/09
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you and your family.   I pray that you can find strength and peace during this time.

    ~Declare it..Claim it..It will be!!~

    5/9/09
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. T&P for your loss.
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  • I'm absolutely devastated for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    T&P's 

  • I'm so very sorry for your loss.  My heart is aching for you.  Right Hug
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  • I am so sorry, my heart is breaking for you :-( Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family *Hugs*
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  • So very sorry for your loss.

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    Me: 37--Thyroid Cancer survivor. H:38. DS born 6/22/2011; BFP#2--11/5/12--Missed miscarriage discovered 12/21/2012.  BFP#3--5/20/14--another MMC 6/16/14.
  • I am so sorry that you didn't get to take Jameson home. I am so incredibly sad for you and your family. The loss boards here on TB are wonderful places, I've heard, so I bet they can give you way more appropriate words of comfort than I. ay thoughts and prayers to you and your family. 
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  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet boy.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
  • I am so sorry for your loss...T&P's for you and your family.
  • I am so sorry to read this. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. May your son rest in peace.
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  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your son, Jameson Thomas.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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  • Oh, I am so, so sorry. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with your and your family.
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  • I am so incredibly sorry.  I'm at a loss for words.  I will continue to keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.  My heart truly goes out to you and yours. <3
    Laura
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  • Oh my I am so sorry for your loss. I dont know that there anything anyone can say to make it better but time heals all pain. Give yourself time to grieve this loss. I hope there is a happier future for you filled with happy healthy babies.
  • My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry for your loss.
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  • I'm so, so sorry. I was really praying you'd be able to hold out. Definitely take it day by day and reach out to someone for help if you need it. *hugs*
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  • I'm so sorry to hear this was the outcome for you =(  I cannot imagine what you and your family must be going thru.  It's truly a miracle that you got to enjoy those few precious moments with him tho!
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