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How did your..

DreamAmorDreamAmor
in Blended Families

How did YOUR parents react to you marrying someone with children? Does it matter? If it was difficult, did it get easier over time? Are my parents the only idiotic people in the world who are too old school?

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Re: How did your..

  • CurlyQ284CurlyQ284 member
    My mom had issues with it when we started dating. I understand why now, I was 19 and in college, he was 25 and in the military with two small kids and a divorce under his belt. My college friends called him my old man, they had issues with it too. I've always been mature for my age and DH a little immature for his age so it was ok for us. I could care less what my parents and friends thought, I never have, I just do my own thing. It did get easier over time, my friends and my parents love DH now. They do still talk about how they could never do what I did but DH is my best friend and I love my SDs :)
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  • FutureMrsDrew73110FutureMrsDrew73110 member

    I was 19 and he was 24 and had 3 children under the age of 3. He was working 3 jobs (picture people, pizzeria, and golf course) to support the kids and was living in his parents basement since BM left him 3 months before. My dad told me that if I ever saw DH again then I could get the F*** out of his house. Well then the next day my dad's best friend at work died of a heart attack in the bathroom at the age of 35. My dad was then afraid that if something ever happened to him, then he'd die with me mad at him. He told me that I was able to see DH and explained to me that things won't be easy and it's not what they really want for me but if it is what will make me happy then they'll be happy.

    Fast forward to today. My parents LOVE DH and especially the kids. My mom always says if something happens to me and DH she still wants visitation with the kids. Those are her grandchildren no matter what. DH has also shown them that he will do whatever it takes to support his family. He's worked 3 jobs again, and now he is living and working 5 hours away to build his seniority at work so he can get transferred home and have a great job.

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  • DreamAmorDreamAmor

    Here's my story:

    I met my H, 5 years ago, when I was 20. He was a single dad to 2 girls (S was 3.5 and C was 15 months). Unlike the usual situations, their BM died when C was 3 months old. We started dating and I quickly grew to love his family as my own. My parents were not happy because I was young, he's older, and he has children. We argued about it a lot but, obviously, I wouldn't let them dictate my life or judge him because he was a widowed father. I ended up moving in with him and getting engaged very quickly.

    My parents are very pro-education but I wasn't planning on quitting school and I don't know why they thought I would. Sophie and Charlotte are both, very much, a part of my heart. My mom has come around a lot but my dad is still stubborn. As a result, even though it's been years, we have a rocky relationship. They're very old-school and old-fashioned because that's how they grew up (they're not born in this country) so it's their mind-set but it upsets me. I want them to love my girls like their grandchilren and I'm hoping that will happen. I grew up very close to my parents so it does bother me but it's been so long that I'm learning to live with it.

    That turned into a long vent...

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  • FloF9FloF9 member

    My parents opposed it completely.  They had been married for over 40+ years.  They don't agree with divorce and were compeletly freaked out that I was dating a divorced single dad.  I'ts not idiotic.  They're just trying to protect you. 

    Blended families are not easy and not for the faint of heart.

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  • litleazkowgirllitleazkowgirl
    My family has expressed a huge dislike in the idea of me dating an older man and even more when he has children. When I annouced I was getting divorce my family threw the biggest fit because he was my high school sweetheart and we should have stayed together. I have dated a three men with children. Each time my family gets pissy and pouts. Over time they realize it is not as bad as it seem. My FI has two children and my family has finally opened their eyes. They incorporate our children just like other children in the family. It does not matter if my parents or family approve or disapprove. It took my family a little while to adjust. They have explained that it is not only him or me that gets hurt but the kids now. I can understand their concerns. I have sent my father several links to stories and ideas for adjusting to a "new" family.
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  • WickedCoolSMWickedCoolSM

    My mom had a hard time, I think... not that she didn't love DH-she does!  Her thing was that she thought I'd have kids some time in my life.  I do, but they're skids, not blood kids.  She's now resigned to deal with it as she has no choice, but I think THAT was hard on her vs. the fact that DH has kids.  She does love the skids, though.

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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    Initially, my parents asked me if I was sure I wanted to take on this responsibility. I was a single mom to a 5 year old and DH's 3 kids were 4,3 and 14 months. So that was 4 kids ages 5 and under. I said yes and it was never a problem after that. They were more concerned about the # of kids versus DH because my parents have known DH his entire life. Flash forward to a few years later and they were asking us when we were going to try for a baby LOL.
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  • Karma1969Karma1969 member
    My parents didn't have an issue with it.  They are divorced and remarried so they were more open minded.  My DH family was the one that questioned me more about how I felt since for them it was unfamiliar as he was the first one in that situation in his family.
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  • smbsantacruzsmbsantacruz

    My folks were completely supportive. Of course, they were all divorced/remarried, so it might have been hypocritical if they weren't. My mom had some initial reservations over how quickly I met DSS, but that was about it.

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  • Erin0922Erin0922 member

    My parents didn't mind the kid part - in fact I think they loved it, haha. They were Grammie and Grandpa from day 1.

    The part they minded was me dating him before his divorce was final!

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