DH is being an [vent]
BrennaZ
member
_ass.
I found out last night that he was having an affair--it had JUST begun, but an affair is an affair.
So, I went off on him and kicked him out. He offered nothing more than "it just happened." Insufficient, pal.
Today, I told him that I want to try to work it out for our son's sake, but I don't even know where to begin. I told him that he is free to come and see Hayden whenever he wants, but to please give me a day or two alone to gather my thoughts and try to deal with it all.
And tonight he showed up on my front porch...what part of GIVE ME A DAY OR TWO did he not understand? He called and texted me all day about how sorry he was, about how he was going to fix things, and then does exactly the opposite of what I ask.
But since he showed up, I let him see Hayden, albeit while giving him my opinion of his presence.
Then he leaves again, after an argument about how I'm not trying to keep him away from his son, I just needed time to heal--two days is NOT that long.
A little while later we are having another text message conversation about the status of things--he's starting to just irritate me with not leaving me alone. And somehow it comes up that he's hoping this separation won't last two months. I told him that I don't see how it could last anything less than a month--bare minimum--and that it definitely had no quick fix and was not going to be over in a week.
And he got all upset. WTF? Dude, you CHEATED. That is fair enough grounds for a divorce. Asking for you to let me heal and try and really work things out is not asking for a lot. YOU caused this, now you can deal with it. If you don't like not being able to sleep in our bed, well, guess what? I don't like the mental image of you with your tongue down some other girl's throat.
He's acting like I'm being totally unreasonable. Yes, I am being unsympathetic, but why should I try to make this easier on him? He cheated on me, and didn't even have the balls to tell me himself--I had to find out by finding a text message he sent her. And I'm supposed to care that he doesn't like the situation now?
Ugh I could go on ranting all night I'm so pissed. I swear he's trying to piss me off enough to just say f_ck working it out...the only issue is, I believe our son deserves for us to at least give it a fair shot at staying together. So I've got to deal with it...and get more pissed off at his complete lack of consideration for my feelings.
Re: DH is being an [vent]
INTERNATIONAL NESTIE LIST
I don't have any advice either. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this. =( What an asss.
Vent all you need.
i wont tell you what I would do to this jackass. i remember your posts from 3rd tri. ?your husband has not been there for you for a long time.
but i agree w/ everyone else. stick to your guns and get counseling. even if he wont, you should.
also, if its really not in your heart to work it out, you shouldn't. Your son is young enough that it may not affect him as much as it would it you wait till he's 5, 10, etc to get divorced. nobody will be happy if you two stay together and are just miserable.?but give it some time before you make that decision.
i'm so sorry you are going through this.?
i'm so sorry you are going through this. my dad had an affair for three years, and with counseling my parents were able to work it out and save their marriage. there is hope.
but in the end, make sure you do whats best for you. you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of DC, and if counseling fails, staying in a crappy relationship isn't going to help anyone.
GL, and you're in my prayers!