2nd+ moms...anyone else experiencing this?
FutureMrsCaesar
member
This is probably going to come off sounding selfish, but whatever, maybe I'm the only one.
I feel like no one really gives a rats @ss that I'm pregnant this time around! I mean my family is excited for the baby and all, but people hardly ever ask how I'm feeling, etc. Even my DH, it's so annoying! In fact, I feel like my family all calls me to vent about random crap that is bugging them and doesn't even give a courtesy 'how are you, by the way?' Ok, re-reading this I realize I'm just being sensitive, lol,
The last 2 Dr appointments I had DH didn't even ask how things went. I know the appointments are boring right now, but he has no idea how LUCKY we are that they are boring. He also announced that he's 'done nothing to prepare for this baby and it's going to be a real shock when it gets here' He has a lot going on, for sure, but if you recognize that you are unprepared, maybe you should make an effort to get prepared? Even if it's just mentally preparing yourself??
Re: 2nd+ moms...anyone else experiencing this?
I was so angry when we had our second baby, b/c no one even bothered to send a card after he was born. With our first I got cards and flowers and a shower. I didn't expect another shower or even the flowers, but I did expect cards to acknowledge his birth. I am still a little miffed about it. He tends to get overlooked. When we had baby #3 she got more attention/cards/gifts b/c she was the first girl. I am glad that she got a nice welcome, but I am still sad for DS#2. I know how you feel.
My husband has never been overly sympathetic when I am pregnant. I know this and I accept it. I think some times he seriously forgets that I am pregnant.
Yep, the same thing happened when I was pg with my 2nd. Everyone just seemed to ignore it....I guess I'd been through it once, they figured it was 'old news' sort of thing.
i totally know what you mean. This has been by far the easiest pregnancy ever so honestly i feel like everyone just thinks im fine and they dont care to ask. I think i need to start playing the pregnancy card and pumping up my symptoms more just to get a little foot rub or a simple "how you feeling?"...
I seriously hope my family acknowledges this little guys birth as much as they did for Dawson, that would be so sad if they didnt.
Honestly, I LOVE that people aren't making a big deal about this pregnancy! During my first pregnancy, I was so freaking tired of hearing "how are you feeling" that I resorted to smartass answers because I was so annoyed. lol. I'm glad people aren't making a big deal anymore. Of course DH and I are excited for the baby to arrive, but we're not making a big deal really.
And I'm just like your DH-we have NOTHING ready for this baby! The clothes and blankets aren't cleaned, the carseat, bassinet, bouncer and swing are still in storage, etc. I have a c-section next Tuesday, and DH and I are seriously getting everything ready for baby on Monday.
If I go into labor this week, DH is going to be a busy guy while we're in the hospital and the day we come home.
It just continues to get worse with each baby. I remember being shocked that no one really stopped to see us at the hospital after I had #2 and after #1 people were sending flowers, visiting, etc.
But to tell you the truth, with each pregnancy I start caring less too. I'm too busy to worry about the pregnancy and baby and it just sort of gets pushed to the back of my mind. All of a sudden the holidays were over and I was like, "Oh no! I'm pregnant and need to prepare for this baby!"
You're definitely not the only one!
When I was pregnant with DD and saw family at Christmas, I heard a lot of "oh, you're just glowing!" and "you look so good!" and "how are you feeling?" and "have you picked a name yet?" and "have you started the nursery yet?" This time, I'm more noticeably pregnant (about 3-4 weeks further along), I wore my most obvious maternity clothes, and no one said anything. Not a single word about me being pregnant.
I mean, I don't expect a shower or fireworks, but a little acknowledgement would be nice.
I'm glad that you posted this because I've felt really awful about it, and would never say it out loud. It's nice that there are others who understand!
This 100%!
I am so glad I don't have to have a shower, no returns, no one calling me 15x a day to ask how I am doing. My family didn't like me to drive with DD and this time I am happy that I can go on with my life normally with just a belly.
We felt pressured and overwhelmed with people coming to the hospital (both have very large families) We are looking forward to quiet and private time as a family this time.
Honestly, I don't have the time or energy to feel mad because no one is paying that much attention to me with this pregnancy. DH gave me nightly massages with #1. I have to practically beg him to rub my back with this one and I'm okay with it. He works long hours and does more than his fair share of taking care of #1 that I almost feel guilty to ask him for a back rub. I'm grateful that MIL, my mom and sister come over to entertain DD so I can get some rest that I could care less if they ask me how I feel.
DH also has that "we'll cross that bridge when we get there" mentality and I don't really see a problem with that. I know things will work out just fine.
I keep telling him throughout that I need help and support and to be acknowledged that this is hard for me, and still not much. After I mention something I feel selfish and foolish, but ugh.
One day I was like "do you even know how far along I am right now?" and he was 4 weeks off in his guess! He also hasn't been to a single appt. though he could have come and also hasn't asked how they went lately.
I guess I was just overly spoiled by him with our first in that he was VERY involved, it hurts more this time that he's so relaxed and out of tune...
anyways, you're definitely not alone in your feelings!
violet (01.06.2011) & colt (09.27.08)
expecting surprise baby no.3 may 3rd