anyone feel like a Single Mom sometimes?
I have so much respect for single moms. They do it all w/out the help of another spouse.
I have a spouse. However, I feel like I'm doing a lot of the work myself. In fact, with the exception of an occasional diaper change on his part, I do the changing, bathing, feeding, driving, shopping, etc. all on my own with little or no help from him.
He works all sorts of odd hours so I know that is definitely a hinderance...but when I ask him to help or assist, he simply states that he is too tired. So I don't pressure him.
I just wanted to see if any other moms in BUMPLAND ever feel alone in raising their child...
and please....only respond if you do. The last thing I want to hear is "how great my husband is as a dad" posts...lol
Thanks for letting me semi-vent.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
Re: anyone feel like a Single Mom sometimes?
Yup. It comes in phases. Lately it's been a looooooong stretch of being super mom, super wife, super homemaker and super employee. I'm exhausted. DH and I had an argument about this last night.
First of all, single moms rock. I have no idea how they handle it all. They are saints.
Secondly, do you work? I won't tell you about how my family works because you asked responders to not do that, but isn't it only fair that he helps and does his part? He is also a parent. I'm not trying to be snarky at all, I'm just curious as to why you let him off the hook so easily when he says he's tired. Aren't YOU tired?
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
Yes, all the time!
Oh, wait...that's probably because I am haha
All of this. I can understand giving your DH 30 min. to unwind after coming home but I assume it was his sperm that met your egg and help create this life. Therefore, IMHO, it his 50% his responsibility to help out tired or not. Sure, sometimes I feel like a single mom too but I know that the moment I tell DH to do something he'll do it. He's always in charge of bedtime routines and almost all diaper changes. Don't be the martyr and speak up, in a respectful way of course.
I do sometimes. DH usually works evenings, so dinner, bath, bed is all me. I also get up with Bean, so wakeup, breakfast, clothes change, play time, up through morning nap (if that happens) is usually me, also. He will take Bean in the afternoon (unless he's working a double), and let me take a nap or clean the bathrooms, or whatever. That's nice.
Also, usually on his days off, he will take Bean out and do something, so I can get some time to myself. Time to myself = nap.
I sometimes push myself beyond what I do, because I want to be "super mom."
When I start to feel overwhelmed, I give DH whatever is left to be done for the day (with DS).
Im a SAHM, and my "job" is to take care of the house and animals (since the animals were my decision to have). However, I had a long conversation with DH about how my "job" is not to take care of DS. Raising DS is parenthood, a partnership. He needs to do his part, just like I need to do my part.
Ditto this. DH is a student so his schedule varies. He is currently home for a MONTH, which has been awesome. But prior to that? We didn't see him at AT ALL for almost two weeks. It was brutal. I wanted to cry and I definitely wanted to hit the floor and kiss the ground that single moms walk on, because I honestly have no idea how they do it.
My husband IS helpful when he is around, but here is the thing... we both work full time, but my work day is shorter than DH's.
I drop Jackson off at DC, pick him up, and am home with him for about 3.5 hours by the time DH gets home from work. I do 99% of the cooking and cleaning, after a full day of work. By the time DH gets home from work Jackson is really only awake for an hour, if that (sometimes he is asleep), so there is not much help to be had.
My sister is living with me now so the balancing act that I had to do (at least temporarily) is a lot easier because there is someone to give me a hand, but I know that won't last forever and then it will be back to doing things on my own.