2nd Trimester

Help! I can't stop smoking. I'm horrible

I'll be 23 weeks tomorrow & I can't stop smoking. I feel so guilty but why do I keep smoking? 

When I was pregnant with my son I smoked till I delivered & he was fine. With my daughter, I quit at 12 weeks & had no cravings for it and I'm so stupid I started smoking again.

I love this baby & don't want any complications, but why am I so stupid and I can't stop?!

I'm constantly around smokers & my husband smokes and he gets so mad at me when I smoke so I started hiding my cigs. What's wrong with me? I feel like such a bad mom. Please help! 

 

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Re: Help! I can't stop smoking. I'm horrible

  •  I won't be the one to give you a hard time, cause that doesn't make it any better.

    One of the things that helped me quit was I would limit myself to X number of smokes a day then every few days I would cut back another cig out. Also, you have to figure out why you smoke, are you bored, hungry, stressed, or whatever. And find a better way to deal with it.

    Good luck I know how hard it is.

  • Indifferent

    Time to talk to your doctor about getting some smoking cessation products.  For the sake of your unborn child, please stop TODAY.

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  • are you kidding me?  i hope you're not looking for sympathy here... i don't think you'll find any.  i know it's hard... but YOU are the ONLY one who can do anything about this.  "can't" is bullsh!t.  suck it up and do it.
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  • image*LisaFrank*:

    Indifferent

    Time to talk to your doctor about getting some smoking cessation products.  For the sake of your unborn child, please stop TODAY.

    Agreed.  As a former smoker, I have little sympathy here.  You are being selfish to your child inside and the ones you have already.  They don't need to be around your smoking either. 

    1st pregnancy: m/c began 1/12/09 d&c 1/13/09 8wks. Baby stopped growing at about 6wks.

    Delaney: Born 10/15/09

    Gavin: Born 4/8/11

    Baby #3: due July 10, 2014

     

  • just stop.  yes it will be hard, but you're taking chances with your child's health. every time you inhale, so does the baby.  i agree with the poster who suggested you speak to your doctor about cessation products that may help you.


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  • I won't be rude, but I have to say, my initial reaction was.  I agree with pp- get help, do whatever you need to do, just STOP.  It is an addiction, and is obviously not easy, but it should be important enough for you to do everything in your power to commit to quitting.  You have done it before so you know it can be done.  I wish you the best of luck!!
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  • I've never been a smoker so I don't know what it feels like to try to quit. But I see it as lighting up with your kids in the car. Or smoking in the house. Your kids can't do anything about it. Only you can, I have to say shame on you.
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  • You have to stop. Period. And if your husband is that concerned, he should stop as well to make it easier for you at home.

    The fact that you smoked through your first pregnancy, and into your second, and are doing it again now...I don't know what to say. By posting this, you clearly know better, and know how unhealthy it is for a pregnancy. That you have now done it three times is pretty unreal to me, I have to be honest.

    Stop. No one said pregnancy is easy, or that the sacrifices you make it for don't come at the cost of personal comfort. I get that it's an addiction, and a tough one, but FFS. Get over it.

  • Thanks ladies. That was a big reality check. I wasn't looking for sympathy but a rude awakening, I guess? When I was pregnancy with my daughter, I had a stranger cry because I was smoking and I quit that moment. You ladies pretty much did that for me just now. 

    I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    Starting now I will not smoke. 

    Thanks Ladies.  

  • Yea, it's going to be hard, but isn't it worth it? Every single time you take a puff, you should be thinking "this is hurting my baby". Would you do something to your baby when it's on the outside that will repeatedly hurt him/her? This is no different.

    Also, your husband sounds like an asss, too. He shouldn't be smoking either. You have 2 children and another on the way. Does he think his smoking doesn't impact them? You both need to quit. Like, yesterday.

  • I'm sure you didn't post this to get lectured.

    My husband and I were both smokers and had agreed we would quit when I got pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant, I bought one of those e-cigarettes. The way they work, you can buy refills with different levels of nicotine. I bought the one with ZERO nicotine so basically I was just inhaling vapor (completely harmless to you AND baby). I was more addicted to the habit than to the actual nicotine. Even by getting a refill that has nicotine (and you can buy one with small traces of nicotine) it is still safer because there is no tar. I would really suggest investing in this! Try getting one with no nicotine if you can and see how that works for you!

    As for your husband, he has got to get on board with you. I admit it was very hard for me at first bc my husband was having a rough time (he's still smoking but really is trying). I'm going to be getting him to a doctor soon for a prescription.

    I wish you the best of luck!

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  • it took me 11 days to quit smoking from the day I found out I was pregnant. I just cut 2 smokes out a day every day.. I stopped drinking coffee ( because they go so well together!) I stayed inside when people I was with went out to smoke... it was hard, and I was moody, but I haven't smoked since May and I don't plan on ever smoking again!
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  • Ummm this has to be MUD. It's too friggin stupid not to be.
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  • imagegkyoon:

    Thx for your reply. I guess I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    I will take your advice and limit myself to X numbers of cigs & cut down everyday. I know there isn't a good number to start with since smoking is bad period. How do you go from 1 pack a day though

    Thank you. 

    Wait, you're smoking a pack a day while pregnant?? Come on.

    Because you're bored and you don't want to gain weight?

    Get real. This is your child's life. Who has no control over your selfish actions.

    Eat healthy. Get a hobby. And quit.

    Oh, and I hope this is MUD.

  • Hide your smokes in the trash can! Then don't buy anymore!

    Tell DH that he will not smoke around you anymore!!! That is very selfish of him! He can go for a 'drive' if he wants one!

    it will not be easy, but you can not smoke anymore!!

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  • imagegkyoon:

    Thx for your reply. I guess I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    I will take your advice and limit myself to X numbers of cigs & cut down everyday. I know there isn't a good number to start with since smoking is bad period. How do you go from 1 pack a day though? 

    Thank you. 

     

    I have no idea.  But just stop.  Patches, gum, whatever you need to do!  I'm not sure if Chantix is safe during pregnancy, but call your doctor ASAp?  Does your doctor know????

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  • imagesleepingbeauty825:
    Ummm this has to be MUD. It's too friggin stupid not to be.

    Yes, the "I smoke a pack a day because I am bored and want to keep my weight down" has def. pushed this into muddy waters.

  • On one hand I have have sympathy on the other hand I can't say that I do.  I was a smoker for 12 years, and one day gave it up and that was almost 2 years ago.  I quit smoking because I was getting married and knew I wanted children and that was the right thing to do.  I don't even agree with people smoking around me.  You are responsible for the baby you have made and you are not taking responsibility like you should.

    Although it was very very easy for me to quit I know it isn't always easy, you need to seek some help instead of saying "what's wrong with me", "I have a weight problem", "I get bored", all those are, are excuses.   You should be saying I should stop because "My child can have birth defects", "My child can have low birth rate", "My chidren I already have are getting 2nd and 3rd hand smoke".  I think these things sound more important.

    To go from 1 pack a day, drop to 10 cigarettes a day if you must work your way off of them, do it like that.  Don't buy them by the carton either, buy them by the pack because if you do it by the carton they are right there for you.  I don't agree with working your way off of them, considering you have went so long during this pregnancy smoking.  Also, just because your 1st didn't come out with any problems doesn't mean this child will not.

    That's my two sense, and PP's said get help don't just know it's a problem do something to fix it and if you can't fix it yourself see someone.  Also, stop being dishonest with your husband he needs to make you feel guilty and he should feel guilty himself, again 2nd and 3rd hand smoke is bad.

    GL!

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  • while I don't smoke and I never have. I am going to just say do whatever you have to get yourself to stop for the sake of your unborn child. Like you said you don't you want any complications. Do whatever you need to, to stop. I don't what would help you because I don't. I have a co-worker who just found out she is expecting and she is still going out and smoking a bunch of times a day. It upsets me because I am thinking of her child. I know it is an addiction and it can be tough but you have done it before and you can do it again.
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  • You've been flamed enough so I'm not going to tell you more of the "you suck" messages, but I did have one friend who was so addicted to cigarettes that her OB actually recommended that weaning herself off of it during pregnancy would be MORE detrimental to her baby than to keep smoking.

    BUT, she did quit because she got tired of all the looks she got when she was pregnant.  And please discuss this with your doctor, since I don't have a medical degree and I'm not endorsing smoking.  I actually think smoking is disgusting.

    Stephanie Hsu
  • imagegkyoon:
    What's MUD?

     

    Made Up Drama

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  • I understand your need to smoke, the precieved relief from stressful moments as I too was a smoker, but think about it this way. We smoke to remove anxiety or stress but think about the level of stress you will have when the doc tells you your baby has lung and heart problems because you didn't quit smoking. Once you have the child, then smoke outside, but dont subject them to the smoke when they are at such a crticial part of development. I was 6wks pregnant when I found out, when I left the doctors office, I threw away my smokes, had mar car cleaned so it wouldn't smell like smoke and made my husband stop as well. Maybe you need more support then you have. make it something you two can do together and be happy about it. Your protecting your child when you do.

  • I know it must be extremely difficult.  My fiance is trying to quit right now, and he struggles every day with it.  I have a few suggestions.  First of, see if your husband will quit with you.  A lot of times when someone is in it with you, it is easier.  Also, do not let others smoke around you.  You are trying to quit for your health and your baby's health, so I do not feel this is too much to ask.

    Second, now that you know why you smoke (boredom) try to do something to fill that time - chew gum, do yoga, clean, knit, or play a video game.  Do something to keep your mouth/hands busy so that you don't smoke.

    Third, maybe try this approach: even if you are only going to allow yourself X number of cigarettes per day, don't smoke until you "absolutely need one," like if you start to feel your heart race, get jitters, or feel other physical symptoms of nicotine withdrawl.  You might be surprised how few you would need if you wait for physical symptoms. 

    I know a lot of doctors tell a mother that if it is more stressful to quit than keep smoking that they should just keep smoking, but if you can try to reduce how much and take active steps to quitting, you might be surprised that you can stop.

    Good luck.  I know it must be hard, but it is sooo worth it.  

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  • imagegkyoon:
    What's MUD?

    Meaning it's crap, that you can't be serious, you can't be telling the truth, "Made Up Drama".

    Because no one can possibly be pregnant and be smoking a pack a day around two children already, being pregnant, and because they are bored and have weight problems.

    Edited for spelling.

    **February 20th, 2010 I Married My Best Friend and June 5th, 2011 My Soulmate Was Born** image Lilypie First Birthday tickers imageimageimage
  • imagecruelsound:
    image

     

    Off subject but I LOVE your dogs!

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  • I've dealt with addiction my entire life in the form of weight and smoking...and I truly understand the self-hatred that can accompany the addiction overpowering one's will to stop.  However, with all the research of just how harmful smoking can be to your child(ren) you have reached a point where you have no longer have a choice.

    I would recommend making an insanely long list of what you can do besides smoking, enroll in various activity groups and support groups, and just do everything possible to keep yourself busy and mentally occupied.  You will still jones for cigs...and your alternate activities will sometimes seem absolutely unsatisfying...but that is when it is so important to distract yourself!!

    Good luck!!  Also, since your husband seems to understand how important it is for you to stop smoking...maybe you should make him aware of just how important it is for him to also stop! 

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  • I'm so glad you're committing to trying to quit! That's such a big step. The damage to a smokers lungs starts to reverse almost immediately as soon as you quit smoking and the danger to your baby will stop right away and the risk that he will be born with impaired respiratory system will start to decline. But for you and your other kids, your husband must stop smoking too and get the second hand smoke out of the house! Get whatever help you need, there are some great products and programs out there.
  • This is just sad. I don't mean to be rude.. Actually yes I do, how can you do that to your unborn child and your children?

    Put yourself in the position of your little baby growing inside of you, every time you take one puff and inhale just picture him chocking and gasping because in truth you are polluting that child.

    I know it's hard to quit smoking, ( My dad is a chain smoker and we still have issues because I have asthma and can't stand being around smoke) but a mother who loves her child would sacrifice anything for their well being.

     Enough said. 

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  • imageRJHarmon:
    image*LisaFrank*:

    Indifferent

    Time to talk to your doctor about getting some smoking cessation products.  For the sake of your unborn child, please stop TODAY.

    Agreed.  As a former smoker, I have little sympathy here.  You are being selfish to your child inside and the ones you have already.  They don't need to be around your smoking either. 

    This, as a very heavy former smoker..I can't sympathize.  Is your babie's health worth less to you than your cravings?  Just don't buy the cigarettes.  Don't have lighters on you.  And for God's sake, don't buy more!  Throw what you have away.

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  • imagegkyoon:

    Thanks ladies. That was a big reality check. I wasn't looking for sympathy but a rude awakening, I guess? When I was pregnancy with my daughter, I had a stranger cry because I was smoking and I quit that moment. You ladies pretty much did that for me just now. 

    I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    Starting now I will not smoke. 

    Thanks Ladies.  

    Yeah - I'm not one that has ever been mean, rude, or hardly commented on anything that would cause me to be so on here... But fact is.. I smoked until the day I got my BFP. Our pregnancy was unexpected. Had it been planned, and we were trying. I would've stopped THE DAY we decided to try. I think that smoking while pregnant is just as selfish as drinking, eating crappy, or anything else that causes harm to your child. Your child didn't pick you. You picked them. Therefore give them the best chance and the best life possible. There are no excuses.

    DH also quit smoking. It started with just while he was around me and then turned into, "I can quit full time for our daughter." I've also told everyone that's around me that I will not be around smoke. I quit smoking and it wasn't to inhale other's smoke.
    QUIT SMOKING. For real. You're 1/2 way through already. Some of the most crucial development has already happened. There are seriously no more excuses.  

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  • Have you ever thought about one of the hypnotizing sessions they have for smokers?  I was never really a believer in things like that, but MIL had smoked since she was 15, went to one a few years ago, and hasn't touched a cigarette since.  It's something to seriously look into.
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  • imageambrandau2:

    You have to stop. Period. And if your husband is that concerned, he should stop as well to make it easier for you at home.

    The fact that you smoked through your first pregnancy, and into your second, and are doing it again now...I don't know what to say. By posting this, you clearly know better, and know how unhealthy it is for a pregnancy. That you have now done it three times is pretty unreal to me, I have to be honest.

    Stop. No one said pregnancy is easy, or that the sacrifices you make it for don't come at the cost of personal comfort. I get that it's an addiction, and a tough one, but FFS. Get over it.

    this, exactly.

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  • Your husband isn't helping by smoking either. You shouldn't even be around 2nd hand smoke let alone smoking. He should stop too or not go near you when he does.
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  • imagegkyoon:

    Thanks ladies. That was a big reality check. I wasn't looking for sympathy but a rude awakening, I guess? When I was pregnancy with my daughter, I had a stranger cry because I was smoking and I quit that moment. You ladies pretty much did that for me just now. 

    I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    Starting now I will not smoke. 

    Thanks Ladies.  

    Indifferent   holy F.  if you lost the weight once, you can do it again.  hurting your children in order to be skinny?  umm again..WTF  how sad.  Sad

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  • When I quit (years ago) I replaced smoking with some other activity.  I know it sound stupid, but I cut pictures out of magazines.  This gave my brain and hands something to do for a few minutes until I didn't need to smoke anymore.  I half filled a paper grocery bag.  I also tried cross stitch and crochet - both were too boring for me. 
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  • As a former smoker, I can't really give you much sympathy. I smoked for 9 years and it got really bad when I began to smoke and drink heavily every day ever since my mom died in 2005. Bad way of coping, yes, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I stopped EVERYTHING. It's not fair to your unborn child who has no choice but to consume what you are consuming. My husband also quit, and he quit cold turkey as well. For some people it's easier to decrease how many cigarettes you have daily until you can quit, but I knew I could never do that. It had to be all or nothing, and I can tell you now that I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke anymore. I'll never go back to it. If I didn't get pregnant, I know I'd still be doing it now, unfortunately.
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  • I think it is good that you to posted your struggle about smoking here. Although you have gotten some 'tough love' responses I think that is EXACTLY what you were looking for, right? You know it is not healthy for you or your unborn child, but it is hard to quit.

    I agree with PP that said your DH should also quit, I am sure when he smokes that also makes you want a cigarette ( I hope he does not smoke inside of the house). Be honest with him and tell him that if he wants you to stop he really needs to stop as well, since it will be beneficial not only to him and the kids but to you and your desire to smoke. 

    I am sure it is hard. I used to smoke occasionally when drinking, and when I have a stressful day I think about having one. But a pack a day is a LOT! Good luck to you!

     

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  • I think there are some smoking cessation programs you can sign up for and there are even some specifically geared toward pregnant women.  Maybe it would be easier to quit if you did something more organized like that.  I think pps have also given you good advice.


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