does anyone ever "not try" anymore?
CeltiCutie
member
**Disclaimer: ok I'm not being snarky or rude in any way. Please do not take any offense at all. I know there are extenuating circumstances where TTC & tracking ovulations and such is absolutely necessary. I know personally many people struggling to conceive and on the verge of IVF... so i do not mean this by any means to be directed toward them.
A little under a year ago I had a chemical pregnancy & talked to my OB/Gyn at length about the "circumstances" and that it may happen again all that. We weren't "trying" at the time but we were newly married and not being very careful. Upon discussing my chances of getting pregnant and if this would happen again and again due to some cysts and other issues, etc... my doctor said here's the thing, have fun w/ it. Don't start doing all that "ovulation checkers' and all that business right off the bat. Make it fun, it's suppose to be fun! which made me laugh as he's an old guy! LOL He said if you find after about 6 months-year that nothings happening, not even another chem. pg or miscarriage, then start tracking and doing the ovulation tests, etc... then we'll go from there if you still aren't pregnant after about 5-6 months of that...
So anyway... my point is that does anyone "make it fun" anymore and really not pay attention and just have sex alot and see what happens at first? It seems to me that i see more and more "blah blah days DPO" and nonsense about Ovulation testing and such... Is it just more people are at that TTC stage when on a board like this? Or am I a totally minority who just got "accidentally" pregnant by having fun and "not really trying"?
Re: does anyone ever "not try" anymore?
We tried "for fun" for a long time. But, we knew we would need help at some point because of my non-existent AF many months.
Also, a lot of the just for fun moments occurred before we actually were trying.
I actually think most people, unless they know something is wrong with them, try to just have fun at first. But, I do think some people treat it like a job.
DS 4/2009
m/c 11/12/2010 ~ 7 wks
m/c 7/4/2012 ~ 6 wks
DD 12/2013
mmc Baby Girl 7/12/2015 ~ 14 weeks
Twin girls! 8/26/2017
I think charting is more prevalent here on the Nest because so many people push it as the only way to really know what is going on with your body. The thing is, that they are right! Yes, you can get pregnant without charting, people have done it for a long time, but if we weren't charting, then we wouldn't have known that I don't ovulate until late in my cycle. Having information like that isn't a problem, it is only a bonus!
Just because we were charting didn't mean we weren't having fun. We both completely enjoy having sex and just because I knew what was going on with my body didn't mean that I wasnt' enjoying myself.
I would say that if your looking on this board then yes, most people are charting or using some sort of predictors to actually TRY to get pg. But in general there are tons of people out there who just 'see what happens', but those people usually are not on baby or pregnancy boards chatting all day either. Just my opinion.
And we did TRY from the beginning b/c I do have female problems that I won't go into b/c I know thats now what you were asking : )
I think that's hogwash, myself, since I always charted and we always tried to have fun with our sex life.
I personally didn't see the sense in wasting time not knowing if I were ovulating or timing sex correctly. Sex itself is as fun as you make it, ttc or no.
Do whatever works for you. I get that not everyone is into charting, but it's hardly stressful or work, and if it's getting you down or interfering with your sex life, that is on you, not charting.
Gabriel Ross - August 24, 2009 * Vivienne Rose - May 1, 2012
My Blog
Ditto.
I knew when I ovulated, but it didn't make sex any less fun or exciting. Or meaningful. Oh, and we had sex even when I wasn't ovulating, for those that think "trying" means sex loses all meaning past making a baby.
Why "not try" and show up in tears 6 months or a year after "not trying," only to find out that you're having sex at the wrong time? That makes zero sense.
We were trying but it wasn't "work", we still had fun w/it!
Apparently we got PG on our 1 yr ann.
Good question. I am such an A-type personality that I try and never let anything "just happen". The fact that we won't be finding out the babys gender is a HUGE deal for me. I am sure that you are seeing a very small sample of people on these boards, and that a large majority of the general population are just letting nature take its course. But if you are coming on here for info and advice, you are probably more likely to go the planning and charting route.
Also, DH and I had plenty of fun, even knowing that we were trying to increase our chances by charting. After, we were always like, "do you think?" and laughing about it.
Will baby #3 be another girl?
]
Gabriel Ross - August 24, 2009 * Vivienne Rose - May 1, 2012
My Blog
there are many people who get pregnant without actually 'trying' or who are just 'seeing what happens'. i always hoped to have a period of time where we weren't avoiding but weren't focusing too much on it. unfortunately we never had that luxury b/c of health issues so we had to jump immediately from not-trying to 'get pg as fast as possible'. many fertility treatments and one IVF later i'm finally pg....so obviously it doesn't work for everyone.
after all that i have been through i will say i'll always be jealous of those people who got pregnant without having to worry about these things---please always remember how lucky you are!!! because no matter how much you didn't stress or just 'relaxed', there really is an element of pure luck to it
frozen transfer a success! boy #2 via VBAC
See I tracked my periods only cuz of issues, & I kinda knew when I ovulated, cuz I know my body pretty well. It's just that that time I was actually wrong or we just had sex too close to when it was... So I actually am like 100% dead on on my timing and such when it comes to the baby... ANd i resent that I'm on here chatting all day and not doing OPK's and temping! LOL
Who says that knowing what's going on can't be fun? I'm the kind of person that if I want something, I'm going to do what I can to get it. I see no point in wasting 6 months having no idea what's going on with my body and getting my hopes up if AF is "late."
Honestly, I think it's dumb to not know what's going on with your body if you really want to be pregnant. If you don't really care when it happens, then by all means, go ahead and "just have fun."
I give you major credit for going through what you went through, truly. Like i said my friend is having issues and she has told me about what is involved w/ IVF and I can't imagine the stress and worries.
i truly do know i'm lucky. that's why, like i said, this is not directed toward anyone who has any type of infertility issues or health problems behind it that hinders getting pregnant easily. It's mostly just wondering if anyone who doesn't is crazily charting right off the bat... cuz i think that'd be just really stressful for me, as I see how stressful it is for people going through actually having isssues, ya know?
How is sticking a thermometer in your mouth & a finger up your vag stressful?
personally ... I've always kept track of my cycles, (starting and ending) and could always feel ovulation. But I like knowing what's up with my body.
So I knew when our fertile times would be each month. Having said that, however, I never temp'ed (I wouldn't even know HOW to) or checked my mucus (EW!) or stressed when we didn't get pregnant on month 1 of trying.
It took 4 months each time. The first time, I knew we'd gone off BCP but technically weren't going to start "trying" for another 6 mo. after we actually did get pregnant. This time, we were trying.
Long story short: lots of people accidentially get pregnant. Look at Jamie Lynn Spears (and Britany too for that matter)
I 'crazily charted' ever since I became sexually active, as hormonal birth control was not an option for me. It's neither as stressful nor as much work as you seem to imagine. I will continue to chart to avoid again after this baby until we're ready for the next. I'll chart ttc/ttc until we're done having kids and my husband gets a vasectomy (and then until we get three clear sperm counts).
Again, it's not for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with not doing it, but I really don't understand your opposition to it.
Gabriel Ross - August 24, 2009 * Vivienne Rose - May 1, 2012
My Blog
A spooging penis & the residue baby batter running down your legs post-coital is far "yuckier" than the cervical mucus your own body produces.
Once again, I fail to see the logic in charting being difficult.
Oh, grow up.
Exactly how did you move past kindergarten without being able to TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE??? Do you never take your kid's temp?
1. Turn thermometer on.
2. Stick it in your mouth, under your tongue.
3. Wait for it to beep.
4. Write down what it says.
We did both. We had sex for fun for 10 months, didn't get pregnant. Went to the Dr and did 3 cycles of clomid, didn't get pregnant. Decided to take a break and "just have sex when we wnated to" and got pregnant 9 month slater, on our 3rd Anniversary.
So, there you have it.
It's not "opposition" I just wondered if anyone didn't because it seems like the majority did...
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
DH and I decided to go off bc 4 cycles ago, just to "see what happened" our attitude was if we get pregnant right away that's great, if not, that was ok too. We really believed that if it was meant to be it would be. There was no tracking involved, believe me, my cycles were so irregular after being on seasonale I'm not sure I could have tracked if I wanted to, but now we are about 7 weeks along. Good luck to you, really try not to stress, enjoy this time with your honey!
BFP#2 4/4/12 EDD: 12/13/12 m/c at 8w2d
BFP#3 8/18/12 EDD: 5/1/13 Beta @13DPO: 61, Beta@15DPO: 216
Baby BOY!
I think if I were trying for a while and nothing happened, then I went to the doctor and found out I was never ovulating and thus had NO chance of getting pregnant during that time, that would be very "not fun."
Also, taking a pregnancy test every month and having it be negative because you don't know when to time having sex is probably "not fun" either.
as with EVERYTHING with pregnancy, this post has again proven everyone and and every pregnancy is different. everyone has a different comfort level with their own bodies and a "worry" or "stress" level.
I thank my lucky stars every day and do consider myself lucky- with both DS & now DC #2, I went off the pill and a month later I was pg. DH and I didn't consider this "trying," simply not preventing. the total surprise was incredible.
charting would have been stressful for me- I give golden stars to those of you who are had to be dedicated to charting (or much harder issues) in order to get pg. you are truly blessed with patience and optimism.
and for those people who charted by choice- it's great that you are happy with your option and found comfort in charting. it just wasn't the ideal scenario for me.
I feel the same way. I actually had an IUD that partially expelled when I got my BFP. My period the month before had been late because of a newly started exercise program and I just thought I was late due to that again.
I will never forget the shock when the test read "pregnant".
But to answer the question yes we "made it fun" even if it was unintentional.