Taking my mom's advice?
thebigmare
member
My mom bfed my brother and me. So obviously she knows what she is doing. Except....she doesn't. She said that I "bit" her, so she stopped bfing me. She also said that I STTN as soon as I got home from the hospital. When I told her that newborns need to be fed every 3 hours at night, she said, "You do not wake a sleeping baby. When you can get 6 hours of sleep a night, take it." She also criticized my friend (not to her face, just behind her back to me) for bfing her children based on hunger cues and not just crying. She also said that you need to eat a lot of custard to help your milk come in. She's a big believer in all old wives' tales. She keeps telling me all of the things that my cousin who just had a baby is doing wrong...when according to current breastfeeding guidelines, she's doing things right. e.g. Nursing 9-12 times a day for the first 2 months. My mom's response, "If you do that, your breasts will be down to your knees. Do you want to feel like all you do is nurse?"
Anyways, if she comes to help when we get home from the hospital, what bf advice do I take from her? Advice on latching? How do I ignore her ridiculous comments, like "You're feeding the baby too often"? Should we just not discuss bfing? Should she postpone her visit until I feel comfortable bfing and that way her crazy views can't influence me? I don't mean to degrade my mother. I love her very much and we are very close, but she really is nuts and drives me batty with all of her theories and misconceptions.
Re: Taking my mom's advice?
Little Rose is 2 1/2.
Thanks for your advice!
Are there any areas where you think she could provide advice?
Little Rose is 2 1/2.
See this is what I'm worried about!!!
It's funny because I had the opposite fears. I was worried because my Mom is a LC, a doula and an LLL leader. She knows her stuff, and not just about BF but all things baby. I strongly considered not letting her come for a few weeks so that I could learn and figure things out for myself.
I was worried that being a new Mom, that I wouldn't do things right, or I'd get frustrated, and she'd judge me. Ultimately, I decided to let her come down to stay after DS was born (she lives in Canada and had to book a flight to FL the night we went in to the hospital.)
You know what? Having her there was awesome. She cooked great meals, she would hold and cuddle DS at 3am so we could sleep, and lastly, she gave advice when ASKED.
If I were you I'd have your research ready in hand and the first time she says anything that you know is wrong, hand it to her. Tell her you appreciate her help in all other areas BESIDES BF. Things have changed since our mothers BF us.
Lastly, just a hint, keep a log of BFing and your babies diapers. I felt stupid at first but it helped us. I couldn't always remember when he ate last (we fed him on demand OR every 2 hours, whichever came first) and I also couldn't remember which side he ate off last. Keeping track of the diapers made me content in knowing he was getting enough. That new mom sleep deprived brain has more to think/remember than this stuff so writing it down helped.
Good luck. Your mom may surprize you like mine did.
I don't know about the masses but I can't remember needed my mom more than when we came home from the hospital.
My Mom BFed my brother and I and it was rare incredibly rare then for her to do so. She was VERY pro BFing to the point that I was nervous about disappointing her if I failed.
My mom had zero advice - not that I asked for it. Once LO was here she realized how incredibly different things were. She was still a huge help just being another set of hands around the house (I was on bed rest 2 weeks post part)
If possible have your mom attend a class with you. Or see if she'll be around when the nurses show you how to BF.