Baby Showers
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Starting to regret my friends offer to host...
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My good friend has insisted on throwing my shower since I told her I was pregnant. I accepted without thinking much of it until the past couple of weeks as the shower date has gotten closer. She continues to make comments about how "we" can do this or "we" can decorate this way and I'm stuck thinking "what is this we business?" Isn't the point of being the expectant mom at the shower to basically show up and enjoy what the hostess has put together? We decided the shower would be at my house because she lives in a small apt and there wasn't really any other place to have it, now I'm wondering if that was my first mistake. Last week when I was talking to her she said "don't worry, I can come over and hlep you decorate before the shower" Maybe my expectations are out of whack and I'm being unreasonable but I kind of feel like it should be the other way around?? Also, I just got a voicemail from her where she went on and on about how she found these cute decorations and how we should start shopping for them soon. Does that mean she not only needs my help shopping (which I'm less than thrilled about) but also needs me to help cover the expense of decorations? Sorry for the rant but again am I being unrealistic or unreasonable?
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Re: Starting to regret my friends offer to host...
From your post, I would guess that your friend just wants to make the shower nice for you, giving you an opportunity to add in your opinion. It is not uncommon for the mom-to-be to have some input. You need to sit down and talk with her and get on the same page.
Ugh, I just had a sprinkle yesterday and this is the way it was for me. While I appreciated that my little sister wanted my input, she really made things a bit stressful for me. I was reluctant to have the sprinkle but decided that we'd keep it very small. My sister is only 23 and that was her first shower of any type. She did a great job but the stress it put on me was a little annoying. From her complaining about money to not having time to make the food etc. I was able to let it go and enjoy myself though. BUT, I'm thankful that I won't be having another shower again, ever!! hahaha
Anyway, I'd maybe tell your friend that whatever decorations she wants to choose are fine and that'd you'd love to be surprised. Maybe she'll take off with it???? I certainly hope she doesn't want you to fund part of it. However, if she pushes for help, just grin and bear it. A little bit of time to plan and get things ready will be worth all the goods you come away with! GL!
I think your friend means well, but does not understand the concept of giving a shower. Yes, it is important to get your input, but at some point she is responsible for managing majority of the event on her own. I take it, she has never given a shower before and may be fairly new to the concept. I can imagine how this may stress you; especially since you have to make decisions everyday concerning your unborn child.
Perhaps you can sit down with her and tell her all of the things regarding the shower that are important to you and then tell her you have total faith regarding the other decisions that are made. Maybe suggest she work with a close friend or family member who also wants to help with the shower. My sister and best friend are working together to throw my which, I had to submit to them via excel spreadsheet. LOL! It feels great knowing all I have to do is show up. I really don't have time to assist in planning a shower. The gift registry took up enough time. So I sympathize with you completely.
Best of luck and don't stress out too much. I know your friend means well. I've thrown more than enough showers and yes, they can be very stressful on the hostess as well. I wish you the best of luck and no, you are not ranting. You do have legitimate concerns regarding shower etiquette.
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My thoughts are similar to Ms.Jade's. Maybe ask a mutual friend to ask her how the shower planning is going. I'd try to find a friend who "has a clue" and can really get some answers from her re: decorations, food, expenses, without being too forward. I would be a bit stressed myself at this point. Just be prepared for anything!
Definitley talk to her. My mom is the exact same way, and it can be overwhelming at times.