I feel bad for having DH yell at MIL
mopsie
member
MIL babysat DD yesterday. Before she left, I showed her where the milk was in the freezer and where the clean bottles are.
She fed DD (an hour early, but that's a whole other issue) and when DD wouldn't eat, MIL decided that the nipple was too big (we just switched from preemie nipples to size 1, and she hasn't had an issue yet). So MIL went hunting for the preemie nipples... and she found a different looking bottle on my drying rack (NOT where I showed her the clean bottles were), so she took the top off a different bottle and put it on the Dr. Brown's bottle, without the inside tubing. Well, it turns out she took Marcnshaun's bottle that she'd left at my house. It was hand-washed (not sterilized), but it still irritates me that she didn't follow my directions. I know she meant well, but I specifically showed her where the bottles were... and because she decided to do something different, she ended up feeding DD with another baby's bottle.
I complained to DH, he called his mom and told her what she did. She called me to apologize and she sounded upset... should I feel bad? I didn't say anything to her at the time because I was sorta in shock and I also figured I'd let DH talk to his own mother. But now I feel like I made too big a deal of it.
Re: I feel bad for having DH yell at MIL
vegan mama, military wife
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
I didnt learn how to go with the flow until my second child:)
Yeah, you made WAY to big of a deal out if it. You can't simultaniously be uber controlling and want someone else to watch your kid....you're just going to have to choose one or the other.
yeah, there's going to be misunderstandings if there are vague outlines. That's almost a given. It's ok though...learning early is best!
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
I'm sort of siding with you here. I think that you should have written down instructions, but mil overstepped a little. My mom did this all the time. She'd put bottles together wrong, and then wonder why they didn't fit. She's also obsessed with the idea of the baby being hungry, even if they've just eaten an hour ago. She just assumes crying means the baby needs to be nursed (latent resentment of bottle feeding, I think). My sister, who has a 3 month old, was ready to kick her on the last visit. And next month, the craziness begins again for me!
I hate it that in order to have help, you have to accept it on someone else's terms.
That doesn't sound like "overstepping." that just sounds like she's trying really hard to help, but isn't doing it perfectly. No one will ever be able to replicate things EXACTLY like you want them to.
Okay girlfriend, I totally see where you are coming from here. I think your problem is that you felt like she was deliberately doing what SHE thought was best instead of what you told her to do and you ended up feeling like she thought she knew better than you about your own child and you felt defensive. Am I right? I can see that in hind sight, it is probably not a big deal, but I can definitely feel where you are coming from if you were sleep deprived and such. Just laugh it off as no big deal next time it comes up to smoothe things over because she probably gets your point now.