Is anyone feeling like they're not as excited as they should be?
I know that most are excited, and congrats on your pregnancy. While ours wasn't exactly planned (but it wasn't exactly prevented), I'm happy that we're going to have a child together, and am looking forward to a lot of things that may come.
But I can't help but help odd that I'm not as excited. I'm mostly ambivalent. And this, oddly enough, makes me feel nervous and saddened that I can't muster up the emotions that I have experienced with others when they tell me that they're pregnant.
Last week I told my friend, for support, and she started crying, my DH started crying, an I was like "ok... (insert quizzical look... try to pretend to be happy)
The odd thing is that I AM happy for the child. I really am. But I am not as overtly enthusiastic (or at least like I have been with all my girlfriends/siblings who have been pregnant).
I guess this is more of a vent... or something.
Re: Is anyone feeling like they're not as excited as they should be?
I was a bit ambivalent with my first too. I was totally happy, I just couldn't let myself get too excited.
I think for me, a lot of it had to do with the fact that it took us sooooo long to conceive (20 months), and it was just so unreal that it finally worked - I felt for sure something bad was going to happen and it wouldn't work out. I stayed very unattached to the "baby" probably until my 3rd tri. I was afraid to get attached to the idea that we would actually bring home a real live baby, because the "what if" of something going wrong. But I WAS very happy to be pregnant.
I am much better about it this time around.
TTC#1 Chart
TTC#2 Chart
IUI #1 - #4 (repronex trigger) = BFN
IUI#5 on 10/28/2008 ** BFP 11/10/08 ** EDD 07/21/09 *** It's a GIRL (07/14/09)
med/treatment free BFP 06/28/10. EDD 03/05/11 *** GIRL #2 (02/23/11)
beta#1 @ 17dpo = 1296 .... beta#2 @ 19dpo = 3034
it's the Bug and Baby Belle!
This completely. I'm pretty much into my 2nd tri and still have these feelings. I've seen the baby, heard the heartbeat and I'm still a ball full of emotions. We weren't trying at all, in fact, preventing. But, I remember when I was about to take the test, I said a little prayer. If this is what you want God. Then let it be...
And here I am. I am really excited. But I'm also nervous, scared, shocked, impatient, and a million other things I can't describe.
It will sink it and start to get better.
There are soooo many emotions women go through - happiness / fear / shock / sadness / anxiety, etc - and those are true for planned pregnancies, too
Thanks for this. I know that it's a given, but I feel almost bad when I feel sadness, as if I am not allowed. Like that already posits me into being a bad, undeserving parent. Knowing that it's perfectly reasonable, in fact, a rational feeling. As are fear and shock and anxiety. But it is reassuring to hear.
cue in the waterworks.
I am feeling similar. I think that it's because you don't feel pregnant yet. At least I don't. We were TTC and I really want this. I think once I can actually tell people that I am pregnant and see differences in my body it will hit me.
I also think that I am so worried that something bad will happen that I don't want to get to overly excited yet.
Wedding/Honeymoon Pictures
I am the same way. As my UHC Maternity Nurse put it "I need to find joy in this pregnancy." This baby wasn't exactly planned for (yet having sex, I certainly know how they get in there) and with a 2-year old at home already, I wonder how I'm going to do it all over again.
It's stressful and the stress of NOT being happy just makes it worse. Glad to hear I'm not the only "bad mom" out there.
Seeing your post is such a relief - yes. I'm completely ambivalent. You took the words right out of my mouth. My husband and I didn't expect this to happen so fast! For the most part we were taking precautions, clearly not being incredibly cautious. I am happy, but everyone else is absolutely ecstatic.
My mom said, "I'm happy, but you don't seem happy." Ouch - that made me feel soo bad. I am, but it just is going to take some time to sink in. As a young career driven woman just under 30, I've never felt a 'rush or urge' to get pregnant. I always knew I wanted kids - but gosh that happened without a second thought!
Everything changes so fast and I can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed and sometimes sad that my life is completely changing and there is no going back.
Motherhood will be an adventure - and timing can't aways be PERFECT. It is going to just take a bit to get used to the idea. Thanks for the post
I'm apprehensive, because I have had a loss before and have been having complications with this pregnancy so far.
I want to be excited, but I feel like if I do, it will hurt me even more if something happens.
My Blog
This is me all the way. My first appointment is on Monday and I keep on thinking all about the "what ifs". I don't want to be too excited and be let down, but it is also making me a bit pessimistic and I shouldn't be that way.
I'm hoping that once I start to feel better I can appreciate being pregnant more. Right now it's really hard trying to keep up with my 13 month old and work feeling so crappy it's tough to be happy.
Plus I asked DH if he wanted to get the weekly updates on how the baby is growing and he said no, I feel bad like the second time around is less important.
I honestly didn't feel excited until I had my first ultra sound on my stomach and heard the heartbeat. I had so much stress in my 6-9th week with bleeding, clots etc that I was just so freaked out I didnt have time to be excited. Now I am sort of excited but I have moments of sheer terror as well. Sometimes I think about all the things I'm not going to be able to do bc we will have a child , but then I realize that I will have a whole new set of experiences to be excited about.
PS Pandi congrats so great to see you on here!
I was like that for a long while, and our baby was planned. It was like I was a zombie...floating around not realizing exactly what was happening. DH was worried because he just didn't think I was happy, though I was, I just was at a loss at how to express it.
I took my reaction with a grain of salt. I think getting pregnant is a HUGE thing to happen to a woman and a lot is going on with our bodies and our emotions - A LOT. I think my reaction was a way of me sort of folding in on myself to deal with all of it internally before I could express it externally. The shock was just my body's way.
It let up after a few weeks. Once we started telling people and seeing the baby and realizing that the baby was healthy, I got more and more thrilled and amazed. Hang in there and give yourself some credit. And congrats!
This is how I feel. I am so excited for the potential to have a baby in 7ish months. But that is how I feel, like it is a potential baby. I hate feeling so negative, but I just feel like if I get to excited I will jinx myself.
This is me, too! In fact, I was talking about this this morning with a friend and I actually said, "I just don't know why I feel so ambivalent!" and she said, "Maybe it's a built in defense mechanism, in case, god forbid, something happens!"
I think I will feel more excited after the first ultrasound and once I am not sick as a dog anymore!
I had a massive meltdown on my DH about this last weekend. I've been so sick that I haven't been really that happy at all, and I''m afraid on some level the baby is going to sense that and be a sad child (paranoid hormones?). Now we're starting to tell people, it's just so weird when everyone else is jumping up and down and I'm about to cry because I can barely muster a smile.
I will say that in the last two days since my US, it has been a lot easier to get excited about it. Seeing the baby was so rewarding. And I went to a coffee social with other expectant moms tonight, and it was really great. They were all much farther along than me, but it made it easy to start to look forward to something. I think pregnant women need other pregnant women around to help them feel normal. I don't know what I would have done for the last two months without the bump!
I agree, I feel the exact same way. It all doesn't seem real yet.
This sums it up for me as well. We saw the heartbeat today and that helped with the fear and anxiety I feel, but I'm not like jumping from the rooftops excited and it's nice to see I'm not alone. We were trying and I'm happy, but I'm also really nervous and I think that's what keeping me from being really really excited.
This is exactly how I feel and what I would have said.
I feel the same way. And it freaks me right out. Serious...for as long as I have rembemered I wanted a baby. In like grade 4 my teacher asked the class what we wanted to be when we were older and I said a mom. So now ...im pregnant.....and im not as excited. I mean im 5% excited as I thought id be. I think about it all the time. Im on this website religiously. As well as going to Babys R Us. My fiance is way more excited then I am. Whats going on? Im thinking its because im impatient and as of now..this early on not much is going on. I feel even almost awkawrd with kids now ( I work in a childrens store). I hope the excitiment will come soon. I think im just scared...and not of being a mom..but being pregnant. I dont like pain or being unfconfortble etc!
Yes, i can definitley relate.
I was TTC my first child for a bit. She took 17 cycles and clomid. I was beyond excited from the day i got my BFP. I was researching everything, shopping online, watching the days go by slowly.
And now here i am again and DD is only 9 months. I'm not excited and i feel so guilty. I'm not UNHAPPY but just kinda anxious and nervous to go through it all again. I like having a baby who sleeps 11 hrs at night, who can entertain herself a bit, who smiles and knows who i am. Im not ready to go back to the newborn stage.
But, i knew there was a possiblity of this when we had sex. Well, actually, i thought there was no way it would happen from just one time after TTC the first one wasnt exactly easy. Anyways, it happened and here i am. Everyday i've started warming up to the idea a litlte bit more and hopefully soon i can get excited.
Owen- April 2011
Olivia- Due December 24th
This is so me. I also think that all the nervousness, sickness, tiredness, etc is playing. Plus, I keep thinking is this really happening now. I mean I know we talked about it and tried but now its real!
i couldn't agree more with you. i am now pregnant for the 2nd time. of course, both pregnancies were planned. but with my last and this recent one, i'm not and wasn't ever really enthusiastic about them. i think it's got a lot to do with the fact that when i'm pregnant i am sick ALL the time. and i'm not one to be extra happy when i don't feel well. don't get me wrong, i am excited to have another baby be apart of my family. it's just the journey of getting the baby here that's difficult for me.
i think you can be more excited for the another woman having a baby, than when you are actually pregnant because you are not the one experiencing the nausea, sleepless nights, emotional ups/downs, and what not.
many women have told me, "i love being pregnant!" yeah, there are certain things that are fun about being pregnant, but there are a lot of things are not quite so fun!
i'm just happy i have finally found some women who actually feel the same way i do.