Babies: 3 - 6 Months
'I wish I would of known that' tips for a soon to be mom
For us soon to be first time moms..I would love to hear any tips or advice?
Especially any of those "oh I wish I had known that earlier" tips?
Especially any of those "oh I wish I had known that earlier" tips?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 'I wish I would of known that' tips for a soon to be mom
What works for me, may not work for you. Do what feels right to you and trust your gut. If you want (or don't want) to co-sleep, breastfeed, babywear, etc - it is no ones business but yours. Do what works for you and your family! Everyone seems interested in what you are doing with your first, but no one cares with your third.
the sizes on the clothing. just becuz it says 3-6 mo's doesn't mean it will fit your LO when they're 3-6 months of age.
don't buy a ton of newborn anything becuz you don't know how long they'll be that size and half the stuff will just go to waste.
The Nutty Life
Huggies leak a lot...but I found that rolling DS on his side after fastening the first velcro-thingy to stretch out the elastic in the back and THEN fastening the other side seemed to work most of the time.
Also, Adi HATES having onesies go over his head, so we use a lot of the zip-up sleep suits.
The epidural was SOOOOOOO worth it, if you are open to that.
Breastfeeding has gotten me back to prepregnancy weight (and I have been there since 1 month after baby was born).
I was so sure that I wasn't going to co-sleep, but some nights, I can't stay awake to put him back in his bassinet, and that's ok. I make sure he's safe...
Gerber onesies run small.
Gripe water is cheaper at an Asian or Indian store than it is in Target.
Can't think of anything else right now.
Don't wash all the clothes ahead of time!! I thought I was saving myself some grief, but I made it worse. There was a lot she never wore because it was the wrong size/season, or it just wasn't my taste. I wish I had left the tags on, because then I could have returned them for things I like! And now I am in need of fall clothes, but most people bought summer clothes for a newborn.
Also, save the boxes for everything!! She hated her Little Lamb Bouncer. I had to buy a different one, but couldn't return the lamb one because I didn't keep the box. Best of luck to you!!
If you are trying to BF and are having problems, get an LC asap. Not later.
Like pp said, Gerber onesies run small.
It took 8-9 weeks for me to "feel like myself" again.
Nearly incessant crying could be acid reflux. Get it checked.
Skip the newborn sizes unless your LO is tiny, like 5 or 6 lbs. DS was born at 8 lbs 5 oz and wasn't in his newborn sized clothes for very long. Luckily, I hadn't invested in many or received many as gifts.
KNOW that things will get better. When you are a first time mom it's so easy to throw in the towel because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. DS had issues with BF and AR and I turned to formula. He did much better on it and I know I made the right decision at the time BUT sometimes I think about whether or not I should have stuck it out.
Don't rush things! Enjoy your LO being a teeny tiny baby. I already miss how cuddly and sleepy DS used to be. Now he is a wriggly, shrieking, baby and sometimes I miss the days when he would fall asleep in my arms after every feeding and was teeny enough that his swing looked HUGE and stuff like that. It's fun to watch them grow up and reach new milestones but enjoy the early times, too.
Also, invest in some comfy clothes that you don't care ANYTHING about. DS is a spitter and I learned really quickly that cheap Hanes T-shirts and sweat pants were the best things I could wear around him.
Follow your babies cues. If they look sleepy, they probably are. Don't turn to a "method" right away. Not every baby responds well to scheduling and (IMO) you are better off doing everything "on demand". Eventually you will learn to read your baby like a book (unless they are colicky or something like that). I never got into any particular method and I have a baby that eats well, sleeps well, and is overall very happy. Try and figure out things on your own first!
Swaddle! Even if you think LO doesn't like it because they move all around he/she probably does so keep doing it as long as you can.
Everyone needs to sleep so if that means you are all sleeping in one bed do it!
Most newborns (older newborn) will only want to be awake for 1hr-1.5 hours...so put them to sleep before they hit the wall and are melting down. It's so much easier this way!
If you start a routine, ie.your nighttime routine, make sure your SO either knows it and is comfortable with it or has one of their own. LO and I have our routine and for some reason he just doesn't go down for DH so I wish I had had him way more involved!
If you want to baby wear start early...I really did but waited too long and now LO doesn't really like it.
If you still have the baby blues @ 4 weeks pp, your "blues" continue to get worse or they seem to come back call your doctor...it's most likely post partum depression and the sooner it's treated the better
Above all go with your gut! Do what seems comfortable and don't second guess yourself!
Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. I had sooo many people give me grief about not breastfeeding, but it just wasn't for us.
The first few weeks were he!l for my emotions. If you feel like you can't handle it, don't be afraid to call your doctor.
Don't be afraid to ask for help!
Cherish the little moments. Time flies by so quickly.
Don't set your heart on something like BF, just in case it doesn't work out. I was set on BFing (to the point we had 2 bottles in the house). My OB thinks that's part of what triggered my PPD.
If you think you have PPD - get it checked out, ASAP.
My case is different b/c I don't know anyone with multiples, but...
Its harder than anyone led on. Much harder. Especially the first 3 months.
Once we switched to formula the boys were much happier. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty if you need use/supplement with formula.
Running on no sleep wasn't that difficult, but if the baby is colicky? Now that is tough.
Ditto Gerber onsies. the 0-3 fit them when they were in preemie clothes in other brands.
Swaddling saved our sanity. We could never get the blankets quite right, but those swaddleme velcro numbers are awesome.
I wish I had one of these after giving birth: https://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/176-5249350-5112243?asin=B002YDAU42&AFID=[DESTINATION]_df&LNM=|B002YDAU42&CPNG=home&ref=tgt_adv_[XSVALUE]
because I was tired of propping up pillows!
use the dishwasher!! (after the first bottle/nipple sterilization) and run it nightly
alcohol wipes are tough on a newborn tushies (they didn't use them in the hospital) -- we used a bowl with warm water and paper towels for quite a while
let the thank you notes wait for at least 1-2 months bc the stress isn't worth it.
I actually did a poll on here and compiled a list for my blog. Here is a link to it:
https://jkbabylove.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-wish-i-would-have-been-told.html
Good luck.
These aren't mine - but this was seriously my bible. An Amazing thread I went to over and over before and after DD.
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/AddPost.aspx?PostID=8945185&Quote=True
Don't think you need every ridiculous baby item out there and right at birth. I might suggest starting out with the bare minimum at first till your LO gets here. I started out with co-sleeper a car seat, some diapers, some blankets and clothes. Of course I was team green and moving three weeks after I gave birth so that was another reason I didn't want to buy and do a bunch of stuff for baby. There is so much you could do without you would be surprised. A baby doesn't have to be expensive at all. I ordered DD's crib at 2 months old and it gets here this week. I don't mind not having a nursery set up because DD slept in her co-sleeper in our room these last few months. When you first have a baby most likely they will sleep with you or in your room, plus you have to get up so many times through the night they might as well be in the same room. Wait to buy a stroller and see what might fit your lifestyle etc. Same with Wipe warmers, rocking chairs, swings etc. If you have a colicky baby no swing or bouncy seat out there helps with that that much.
Oh and after you have your baby you will also get gifts so you don't even need to buy a thing.
After you give birth, your main goal and sole purpose in life should be to take it easy and heal...the more you push yourself, make dinners, go shopping, entertaining etc., the longer it will take you to recover.
I agree with the PP's about the schedule...JUST RELAX I fed DD when she was hungry, I let DD sleep when she was tired and I rarely woke her for anything....let the baby kinda make his/her own schedule.
Gerber runs small, Circo runs HUGE.
If you are going to be on maternity leave and Daddy is heading back to work, don't think you have to be the one getting up with the baby night after night. During my 7 weeks off while FI was back at work, I think he got up maybe two nights but those two nights made a world of difference. It was so much easier to face again after a night off!
Forget the word schedule and replace it with routine. Scheduling, as in doing the same things at the same time day after day probably isn't going to work for LO, but routines, as in doing the same things in the same order over and over, will.
Limit visitors and the amount of time they visit for the first couple weeks. FI's dad made a three hour visit two days after we got home from the hospital. I was DYING.
Garage sales are AWESOME for baby stuff. We got a ton of cute clothes as gifts but not a lot of stuff she could wear just to hang out in the house in and my DD is pretty tiny so she has worn every size for at least two months so far. We just bought sleepers and onesies at garage sales and I probably averaged about 25 cents each on them.
DS Nathan 12/4/12
BFP: 3/31/15 EDD: 12/4/15
MC: 7/2011, 12/2011
I wish I would have known earlier that DD gets over tired VERY easily...I now know that I need to start trying to put her down for a nap/bedtime before she starts giving me her tired cues. It makes a lot of difference
Always, always trust your instincts
Cuddle as often as possible, like pp said, I miss my sleepy snuggly little newborn. She squirms all over the place now! GL to you!
I didn't read through all the replies so if it's been said already, sorry.
You will have a third day meltdown, don't be afraid to call mom/sister/friend at whatever time. If they've had kids, they'll understand.
Don't be afraid to turn away visitors, if its not a good time for you tell them to go away, they can always come back later
Everyone will tell you what to do and how to do it, trust your instincts, your doctor, and the nurses.
Lastly, the shower you take after delivery will be the best shower you will have ever had in your life enjoy it, because you wont have another one like it for a long time.
Added: The little blue ball snot sucker is a piece of crap, they make a battery powered one that is amazing.
Don't be completely anti-epidural. I was the whole time I was pregnant. I went 12 hours with no medication and I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt SO much better with it and I wish I had gotten it sooner.
If BFing doesn't work out...DO NOT beat yourself up about it. It doesn't make you a bad mother or a horrible person.
If you feel yourself becoming frustrated with a screaming baby...take a step back and breathe. If it becomes too much, don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
Get all the sleep you can while you're in the hospital.
Babies outgrow clothes fast.
A happy mommy=a happy baby. You feed off of each other.
It will take 8-9 weeks to feel like 'yourself' again, and even then, it's not the old you - it's a new you.
It's okay to feel sad that your old life is gone and have a little period of mourning for you and DH. It'll never be 'just the two of you' again. I felt really sad about that for a couple weeks and felt really bad/guilty about it until I confided in a girlfriend and she said she felt it too.
Do what feels right, and trust your instincts!
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
The first week or week and a half, DH mostly slept in another room so that he could make it to work and I could do what I needed to do with the baby in the middle of the night. Watching tv while nursing made me feel less lonely, but meant he could not sleep with us. I remember sobbing one night, saying that we would never be able to sleep in the same bed again. He was back with us after 8 or 9 days and has been ever since.
We DID use NB sizes and diapers for about 6-7 weeks, so I was glad we had some at home.
Being in the hospital was NOT restful...they come in to poke and prod you about a hundred times a day. We left after 24 hours and were so glad we did. I also felt more comfortable being with the baby when I didn't feel like everyone was watching my every move.
Running my finger down the bridge of DS's nose will put him to sleep if he's tired. This may not be universal, but it works on my niece as well.
Everyone says BFing is hard when you start and I believed them...I just wasn't prepared for how painful it would be, even if we were doing everything right. It took 5-6 weeks for me to toughen up and for it to stop hurting completely, but I am so, so glad I stuck with it.
I wasn't prepared for how overwhelmed I would feel about going out alone with LO. Just do it. You'll figure it out and it gets easier. Same with NIP.
Newborns smile and chuckle in their sleep. Sweetest thing ever when you are exhausted and don't think you can go on.
OMG SO TRUE!!! It was the most glorious shower of all time.
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
Nursing bra pads and nipple cream are your new best friend, find the biggest bra pads you can. you will leak, it will soak through your bra and shirt.
Sometimes it will hurt, and sometimes it will suck - but it will get better and it's better for your baby.
Get a nursing pillow, you wont always use it, but it's handy to have.
It will feel like all you do is nurse your baby, embrace this. it's time you get with your baby.
Health care;
Either bite, file or clip your babies nails often. they grow insanely fast.
Use a soft brush on your babies hair from day one, this will help avoid cradle cap. if your baby does it cradle cap, brush it more often, wash it more often and use baby oil on it (add baby oil to their bath too
Babies hands and feet sweat, a lot. Use a face cloth inbetween bath times.
Baby items we couldn't live without;
Travel System
Swaddling/Receiving blankets
Baby safety kit (nail clippers, Emery boards, thermometer, soft brush, toothbrush, comb, needle less syringe.
Medicator (soother with a back part for medicine
Gripe water
Bouncy Chair
Baby bath/temperature checking ducky
Breast pump
Awesome diaper bag
Items we could have lived without;
Baby shampoo (we use a hypoallergenic hair & body wash)
Baby towels (ours a much softer and bigger)
Pacifiers (Sebastian wont really take one)
Nasal aspirator (our hospital said not to use one)
On the go;
Always bring your diaper bag, i don't care if it's a 5min walk or a 30min drive. You will always end up needing it when you don't have it.
Bringing an extra outfit is critical, poop blowouts should be expected.
An extra light blanket and hat are a must. If your baby is screaming while your on a walk and it's a sunny day - these will be a life saver.
Their legs are bowed when they come out. Perhaps everyone knows this, but I didn't and on day 3 I noticed it and freaked out "my baby's never gonna walk!!" It's normal!
Breastfeeding has been really worth it for us. If you want to make it happen for you, work at it. It took us a long time and lots of effort but it's been really worth it.
Do your research. Yes, there are many ways of doing things, some are safer than others. And just because someone says, "I do it and we've had no problems" doesn't mean it's okay. There are warnings out there for a reason.
1. The diaper bag thing... Its always proves to be right...ALWAYS..
2. Extra outfit.... Even if it means leaving something else home (one of the non-essentials of course)... TAKE THE EXTRA OUTFIT lol
3. I live in the desert and still take an extra blanket with me wherever I go... An absolute must. lol
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
Put your LO down to nap. The first week or so, yeah, you're gonna wanna soak in as much as you can with cuddling, but as they get a little older, and you feel better - make sure that when they fall asleep, you put them down. You, and anyone else who might be babysitting.
Our babysitters (my mom, dh's mom, daycare lady) weren't putting LO down to nap, and she was only sleeping about 30-40 minutes at a time. It caught up with her FAST - and at night, she was so overtired that she just cried and cried. Now that she's putting put down in a quiet, dark room to nap, she's sleeping at least an hour and a half - and she's happy all the time when she's awake, and she's not getting overtired anymore at night.
Oh, and while I agree with the fact that you shouldn't buy a ton of newborn stuff at first, I don't agree with "You only need it if you're baby's small, like 5/6 lbs." Kinley was 7 lb, 12 oz when she was born, and we had only bought 3 NB stuff because people said this - she wore newborn sizes for two and a half months. We had to buy a ton more. I would definitely say - wait until you know if you need them, but not all babies are the same, and some just don't grow as quickly, or in the same way.
Try not to have your heart set on things like how the labor/delivery should go and breastfeeding. I was heartbroken to have a c-section (breech baby) and to have to stop BFing after 5 weeks (low supply), and I had never imagined for a minute that I wouldn't have a vaginal devliery and BF for at least 6 months. S%&t happens.
A lot of PPs said to have time to just your DH, baby, and you. Well, that wasn't for me. My mom stayed with me for 5 weeks after the birth, and she was an absolute lifesaver. I felt so much calmer having her there and she taught me a lot, and it was wonderful bonding time for all of us. Do what feels right for you.
Older babies (3,4,5 months and more) still can't tolerate that much awake time before needing a nap. Google "awake time for infants" for a guideline and try to plan naps accordingly.
Honestly, I still don't feel like myself physically, almost 6 months out. I'm still very tired, I'm not back in shape yet, not all my clothes fit, etc. I'm starting to work on that, but my focus during the earlier months was simply on baby (and basic survival). I decided I just wasn't going to care about the extra pounds right yet, and that's ok, for as long as you need.
Research, get advice, but in the end- trust your instincts. For example, I'm very tired and wish for more sleep, but won't do CIO, because it just doesn't feel right to me. And don't let people tell you you're spoiling your baby if you hold him/her all the time. You can't spoil an infant!
A video baby monitor has been my favorite baby item. Also, Swaddleme velcro swaddlers, as was mentioned!
Good luck!
Record EVERYTHING!!! The big events and little moments that make you smile now will always do so, and the days that make you want to cry will bring you to tears of laughter later on when you read about you LO's first explosive bowel movement that covers the room or the day that it took you hours to figure out the easiest fix for never-ending crying.
Also, while most remember to pack an extra outfit for their LO, do not forget to pack at least a change of shirts for yourself as well (and you might want a full change of clothes). Often when your LO needs a change, you are wearing the bodily fluids of choice as well!
1) You are not allowed to take a bath for 6 weeks after delivery, so enjoy them before hand. Get a small, sturdy stool or chair to put in the tub so you can sit and relax while the water from the shower beats on your sore body.
2) After a vaginal delivery you literally can not hold your pee, so try to go frequently even if you don't have to. I peed myself a few times the first few days after. (good thing I had thick pads on). You are losing a lot of fluid so you will have to go very often anyway. It also stings when you go to top it off.
3) It was and is very easy caring for a newborn for me. It's not hell unless they cry a lot or have reflux or colic. Instinct helps you get up at night with the baby and it's not too bad. I let my husband sleep because I would prefer to get up with him all by myself. I honestly don't mind any of it and I don't get mad, upset, overwhelmed or stressed and this is month 3 for me. You may be lucky too and have it easy so don't go in expecting it to be hell.
4) Breastfeeding can be very uncomfortable. If you are at all sensitive it can freak you out. Not from the pain but it is stimulating and weird. Some women have actually climaxed while breastfeeding. Some people enjoy that stimulation but it was too freaky for me and so I pumped for 2 months and I have now switched to formula. If you are set on breastfeeding wrap your head around that first.
5) Don't buy too many dressy outfits for your newborn, they will mostly wear sleepers because they will mostly sleep.
6) Huggies snugglers gap in the front and if you have a boy, it gives room for his pee-pee to flip up and he will, in turn, pee out the top of the diaper and onto himself. Pampers swaddlers do better!
7) Contractions don't feel like you would think at first. it's just like a bad menstural cramp that starts, peaks and tapers down to a stop over and over in a span of about 15-30 seconds and only minutes apart (mine started at 7 mins and stayed that way for 12 hours then got closer and closer together) There's no real "contracting" or tightening of the muscles until way later. If you feel this, call your Dr. right away! I didn't and went into preterm labor at 31 weeks and was already 3cm dialated and 80% effaced when I went in and they couldn't stop my labor. I really just didn't know I had been laboring and contracting for 18 hours! My son ended up in the NICU for a month.
8) All babies have a lot of gas and they strain to pass it. There is nothing wrong with it but you can give milacon drops if he/she seems really uncomfortable.
9) Use bibs a lot because there is a lot of spitting up and you will end up changing his/her clothes 10X a day otherwise. That goes for you too, always use a birp-cloth or recieveing blanket on your sholder while holding/ burping and keep a spit rag handy at all times!
Good luck!