BF'ing in Public...
Here's the thing Mama's...we all know that if we can, BF'ing is considered best for baby. I'm not knocking FF. I know there are a variety of reasons people do so and that's completly OK! However, I do think one of the reasons some people don't BF is bacause it's hard, awkward and difficult at first. That being said, I think we all need to take discrimnation of women NIP more seriously.
When I was just starting BF'ing Livy, I struggled. I'm lucky enough to have ton's of support in my community and by my family for BF'ing, even in public. If I hadn't, I don't know that I would have been able to pull it off. There is such an odd stigma attached to feeding one's baby, I just don't understand. All I'm doing is providing the best possible nurishment to my hungry baby. Why is that a bad thing?
Livy WON'T nurse with a cover. So what should I do? Never leave my house? Not feed her and have her scream in hunger?
Please enlighten me as to why some Mama's on here are against BF'ing in public? Why not support other women's choice to BF, which I think we can ALL agree is a tough thing to do!
Re: BF'ing in Public...
I am not against it. I support those who NIP, but I won't. I know it makes some uncomfortable so I'm not comfortable doing it. Lo hates the cover as well, so I BF in the bathroom (which some find gross, but whatever. She doesn't lick the toilet) or in my car. Thats just my personal preference. But like I said, I completely support those who NIP.
Here was my worst experience: I was BFing my baby in a Nordstroms' bathroom. They have a nice sitting area in the back (its where the changing station is, actually). I sat there with my stroller in front of me to block me. A woman came in and sent her daughter to sit back in the room while she went to the bathroom. She was probably about 5. She sat there and stared at me. The mom came back and flipped at me for exposing her daughter to such things. WTF? I was in a women's bathroom...in a back room....trying to be as discrete as possible.
Rock on! I think you should be able to nurse Livy where ever you are without being discriminated for it.
Its the same people who discriminate against me for FF Asher that also take issue with nursning in public. So you want me to nurse, but you want to make it difficult....geeze that makes sense!
A woman asked me a few weeks ago if my breast milk was spoiled because it looked yellow. I explained that it was formula in a BPA free bottle...those bottles are sorta yellowish. And she was like well breast is best. I told her yeah I agree but he has allergies....and she said... "The only thing wrong with your baby and so many other babies these days is that you're too lazy to nurse him" Wow wish she had been there when he stopped breathing.
Head up mama....it goes both ways. But I say do what makes you and Livy comfortable!
I've never seen anyone on here not support--or be against--breastfeeding in public. I have seen people on here who don't nurse in public because they are personally uncomfortable with it.
I haven't nursed in a super public place yet and I'm not sure if I ever will. If I am at a family/friend party, I'll go into a semi-private or quiet area of the house and nurse using a cover and I don't mind if other people walk by or are in the room too. I have nursed in the "mother's room" at The Gap. And I've nursed sitting in the grass at a park using a cover. That's the extent of my nursing in public experience. I'm not sure if I'll get more public than those examples just because I'm slightly uncomfortable with other people's reactions. I often go to my car if I'm at the mall or out to eat.
the last few times i nip, i didn't use the cover. ds doesn't like it. i live in florida, it's hot, awkward and uncomfortable. i'm still discreet and i don't care anymore. i have been to a few places where it just seemed really impossible.
i feel like i have the worst of both worlds in public, though. i haven't had any issues, but since we supplement, i feel like i'm just waiting for someone to say something about me either nip or making a formula bottle. i feel judged either way. it's not the most relaxing thing for me to feed ds in public.
Just from reading your post and the responses, I think the issue is that people should mind their own business. Everyone's got an opinion and they need to force it on you. Why can't people just go about their own lives? Are they so perfect they need to but in on what others do?
And for the the poor little girl who is going to grow up not knowing what a breast is and its primary function, OMG, what a mother!
I just wanted to add that I totally support NIP and wish I didn't get uncomfortable or care what others think. I think it's super annoying and unfair to discriminate or make comments about someone nursing in public. And I've been known to make a stink when I go to a restaurant and there's no suitable place, other than right at the table, for a mom to nurse her LO.
Here's my take on NIP. I'm not against it at all. It's a mother's right to BF in public, cover or no cover. My LO won't nurse if he's covered. For this reason, I personally don't like to BF in public. So I use some of my stored expressed milk when I know I'll be out for a while and I pump in the car while we go from place to place to keep my supply regular. I have NIP before and I just pull up my shirt and let that cover my breast and DS mouth. I feel comfortable NIP that way. I don't give a crap if someone else is uncomfortable when I NIP. I think people who have a problem with it should just look the other direction.
Case in point...my 4 yr old niece was super excited about my baby as we are really close. So, she's here visiting for the first time and Livy starts to cry. So, I say the baby's hungry I need to feed her. My niece asks if she can. I told her no, that I nurse Livy and I need to feed her. My niece came with me, watched with big eyes as I began to nurse Livy. She was sooo confused. Didn't know what the heck was going on. She actually thought I was feeding Livy out of my belly button. So, I explained it all (with my Mom's help too!) Now, my niece see's it as something very normal and even told me the other day that I needed to nurse Livy cause she was thirsty...and that when she's a Mama she's going to nurse too!
It's not something we should hide. Not at all....
I nursed in public when I was nursing, but I always did it with a cover. I know I'm not whipping it out for all to see, but I wad not comfortable exposing even part of my breast, or my stomach/side (I don't do nursing tops well). I just am very conservative that way. So I support nursing in public, but won't do it uncovered.
I do have a question though, I have been around lots of babies, all breastfed except mine now and a couple others. Until I was on here I had never heard of babies refusing the cover. Every single baby I have known has nursed just as well covered as uncovered..... so why do so many babies on here refuse the cover? And when I say lots of babies think probably at least 50 if not more, and that is just in the last couple of years.
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I totally hear where you are coming from! It's nobody's buisness either way...and with Asher's problems, that lady was WAY out of line. When there are issues, I think it makes it even more difficult to deal with people's ignorant comments. Like when people would tell me I looked too small when I was pregnant with Livy and needed to eat more. Ugh, like I don't feel bad enough that my baby isn't growing without sh*t like that?!
I didn't mean to say that FF'ers have it easier or BF'ers have it harder. I'm just trying to encourage a movement towards accepting and encouraging NIP! As a BF'ing Mama, it feels so good when people are positive about what I'm tring to do....i.e, I was in the Whole Foods Co-Op. It was totally packed and we were on a tight schedule. I NEEDED to get a few things due to my diet and Livy wasn't having it. She wanted to eat THEN. We had an appointment. So, I actually had to walk around the store BF'ing her. At first I felt really awkward. Then a lady smiled at me and said, "gotta love snacking on the go!". It made me so much more comfortable. That's what I'm looking for....for everyone, not just BF'ers!
No clue, but she screams when I put it on and starts flailing. She won't latch.
If I can get her latched and THEN put it on, she normally does ok. But that somewhat defeats the purpose
Great story, and love that she said she's going to nurse too! Does that mean you explained to her how some mamas feed their baby this way and others feed a different way (ie, bottle)? I'm just curious if that came up and how you handled that.
Mine personally just gets so distracted by the cover and refuses to nurse because he is wondering what the heck is on him.
People have issues. *shrug* Especially when it comes to the human body and exposing skin in public, many people have different comfort levels. Some people don't want to seem immodest (by their own standards) in public. Other people are offended when BFing moms are immodest (by their own standards) and make a big deal out of it.
It's not something we "all" will ever agree on -- not on this board, not IRL.
I personally NIP without a cover, discreetly, and have never had anybody say a word to me about it whether I was on an airplane, at the zoo, etc. Sometimes I'm more comfortable nursing in my car. I have the right to BF wherever I'm allowed to be, and I'll do whatever works for me and DD2 at the time.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I wish I felt this confident. I have gotten better. With DS1, I never NIP (I would go to the car, find a bathroom, even pump before leaving to go somewhere so I would have a bottle). But now that I have 2, I'm not able to jump through all those hoops just to feed LO.
I am still very sensitive and try to feed right before leaving or in the car, but I have NIP a few times now and the sky didn't fall, so hopefully it will give me more confidence in the future. I try to find a discrete place and I do use a cover.
I wish people would mind their own business, I feel like they stare at me with the cover on like they are hoping it might malfunction so they can be indignant about possibly viewing a breast!
What I'll never understand is why it is completely acceptable for women to wear low cut shirts (exposing WAY more than I do while nursing) pretty much anywhere, including classy restaurants, but women get flack for NIP at a freaking Johnny Rockets.
Hear hear!
My DD won't nurse with the cover either. She's getting to the age where she wants to look around when she is nursing and she wants to be able to see me as well. When we use the nursing shell, it is REALLY hard to get her to latch on properly and she starts flailing because she hates having anything over her head. Might be because I didn't use a cover with her earlier (harder to get her to latch correctly) but I find no use for it anyway. I feel like it draws more attention to me when I use the cover and most people don't even notice that I'm NIP now that I'm comfortable with it.
I totally agree Mia, women should be made to feel COMFORTABLE NIP. Not just legally allowed to but encouraged to do so! Boobs are primarily for sustaining our babies, not for entertaining our men! Get over it!
DS throws a fit if I try to use a cover. He won't latch and starts to pull it off. For me it makes more of a scene then to nurse without it. He also is into exploring while BF. He loves to explore my face and play with my hands. It is great for them developmentally. If I'm comfortable with it, I'm not going to cover up what DS loves to do, because someone else can't see the top of my boob.
Plus, if you think about it. You can see more boob on a women with a low cut t-shirt than you can if I'm NIP!
I have to use a cover because I use a shield. So I have to be a bit more exposed there for a couple of minutes than I would ever be comfortable with. My DS can also be quite the pain sometimes--I would love to be able to discreetly BF with a nursing top or something, but my DS isn't about the discreet.
I don't have any problem with women nursing in public, but I know that BFing does make pretty much all the men in my life super uncomfortable. Well not my husband obviously (though he definitely doesn't like me nursing in public), but it bothers my dad and my FIL definitely. I think my MIL is uncomfortable with me nursing even with the cover in her home when FIL is there (though she nursed all 3 of her kids). And every restaurant waiter I've come across. And I somewhat understand---breasts are sexual in our society.
I feel the same way! I usually go to the car if LO needs to eat when we are out and about for this very reason. I had to NIP yesterday since LO needed to eat and I forgot my pump at home (even though I had a bottle of BM). We were waiting for the woman to edit his photos for us to view and he wouldn't wait to eat. Since I forgot my pump - I fed LO under my cover at the desk but felt so awkward doing it. Didn't help that LO decided to rip the cover off and flash my boob - but at least no one was walking by or saw it. Since he doesn't like the cover lately - the car is easier. I feel like I am judged for BF or for giving him formula after he nurses. Either way - I feel like I can't win also.
I was only able to BF for 4 weeks, and we had latching problems from hell. Putting a cover over X wasn't an option because he'd unlatch and scream bloody murder if something was covering his head. I couldn't even put a hat on him once we left the hospital and to this day I put most of his clothes on feet first.
I had to use a shield so I'd usually block peoples view with a scarf while I got him latched, then take the scarf off. I always wore a nursing tank, so it wasn't like you could see anything.
Personally, I didn't give a flying fvck if I was making anyone uncomfortable. Get over it, it's your hang up, not mine. No one ever said anything to me or gave me any looks, probably in part because it wasn't obvious what was going on.
I was at a really popular annual CD sale this weekend, there were tons of women and LOs waiting outside in line. Several were NIP sans cover, and you couldn't see anything. One woman had a brand new baby, maybe 6 weeks old and put a damn sheet over her. Not a cover with a little space you can see LO and let air circulate, but a full on sheet. It was about 95 degrees outside and I was judging her hard, which was wrong, I should be judging our society for making her feel like that was necessary.
I have never had a problem NIP. It doesn't bother me or make me uncomfortable at all. I really don't think of my boobs as sexual when I'm nursing. For the most part I use a cover, but sometimes that is impossible, so i just nurse discreetly. I generally have a tank on under a t-shirt, so you can't see anything.
If I am at my parent's house I don't use a cover, but I do if I am at my in-law's house out of respect.
I had a lot of support from my family when my son was born to BF, but my MIL at the time was totally against it. She would make comments ever time I nursed about how much better formula was for the baby. (idiot.)
I don't understand that stigma with NIP.
ok wow. Thats even worse. What did guest services do?