Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
so tough....
today, my hubby and I made the final decision on what funeral arrangements to have for our sweet daughter Kendall. We decided on cremation, and hopefully we get to the point where we can spread her ashes somewhere special......everything seems so final. She was only 3 days old and I keep replaying on my mind that it is my fault that she passed away. I know that meconium aspiration is common, but why did it have to be my baby that passed away from it???
I was full term and we were so excited to be in labor so we could meet our little princess....and now she is gone..and I still cant believe it......we are heartbroken
Mommy loves u Kendall...always
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Re: so tough....
MTHFR 2 copies of C677t mutation homozygous 2/2010
Baby A born via c-section 1/10/12 @38w3d
BFP #1 11/4/09 m/c 4w3d baby crab
BFP #2 12/4/09 m/c 9w3d baby lion
BFP #3 7/1/10 m/c 4w1d baby fish
BFP #4 5/8/11
BFP #5 8/17/12 10dpo beta 7
m/c 6/10
I am so sorry about your loss. You and your DH are in my T&P.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you were able to come to a decision on funeral arrangements, it's such a tough decision! I hope you find the same support I have in this board.
Take care!
TTC#1 since May 2009
PCOS * Hypothyroid
Bean - BFP May 26, 2010. EDD Feb 3, 2011. Natural Miscarriage 8w5d - June 29, 2010.
Pumpkin - BFP Feb 8, 2011. EDD Oct 21, 2011. Natural Miscarriage 6w3d - Feb 28, 2011.
May 2015: IUI#2 - nada.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I started out as an NICU nurse and meconium aspiration was always one of the diagnoses that was, in my mind, one of the scariest as it often occurred without much warning and at the end of what was likely an otherwise healthy pregnancy. The babies were full term and it was so hard for parents to look at them and understand that they were so much sicker than the little preemie next to them in the NICU.
I hope you are comforted by finalzing the arrangements for Kendall. You, your DH and precious baby Kendall are in my T&P.
BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
BFP #2 2/2011
Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013
Motherhood is not for wimps
The eternal and most difficult question is always why you and not someone else... Who knows, maybe it's because you are stronger than you know and it would break someone else. Maybe it's because the path this puts you on in your life is a significant one.
My loss pales in magnitude to yours. I have no idea why some suffer more and it's not fair but I am confident everything is part of a much bigger picture and someday we will all know why things happen. My sympathies go out to you.
I am so sorry for your loss. It was so hard for me to do funeral arrangments. I couldn't come to terms with everything. Everything happens so fast and I am so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you and DH find great support in eachother, this board, and other family and friends. This is by far the hardest time I have ever been through and I am still trying to figure out how to get back to normal life. Today will be my first day back to work and I am dreading it! I hope you will soon find peace and comfort knowing your sweet baby Kendall is in Heaven and playing with my little baby girl Audrina
I talked to my Pastor before the funeral service and he told me that Audrina "Beat me home." I have found so much comfort in that statement because here we are on this earth going through this pain and my baby is already somewhere that there is no pain, tears, or any struggles. Audrina is where I want to be someday. I try to keep God in my life everyday and I try to be a good person so one day I can make it "Home". We have to remember that our babies were lucky enough to make it "home" before us.
I know there are no words to take away any of the pain, but I hope and pray that you will soon feel better. I know how heartbreaking it can be to lose a baby. I am so sorry for your loss.