Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
Re: Do people ask how you're doing?
Most of the people in my life are really good at the balance of letting me know they are there for me if I want to talk, but not bringing it up.
My D&C was only 10 days ago, so I'm still getting the "How are you doing?" but I think most of the time they mean physically recovering, but I understand, it's awkward and uncomfortable. I have just brought it up when I wanted to and most of my friends and family are willing to listen.
Exactly! I have one friend who lives far away so most of our communication is via email and I get a definite sense that when I send emails about my losses that she is tired of hearing about it. I know it's an uncomfortable subject but this still just really bothers me.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
I don't have much friends where we moved to (20 months until we move again) kind of hard making new friends when you move alot. It has been 10 days since my m/c and d&c but I do think about that day when they stop asking how am I or even stop talking about what happened. Also what the next plan is. The thing I can't stand though is " you are still young you ave time" " you will get a baby soon in God's time" and the best one "It's for the best something went terribly wrong and it wasn't your time yet" ... and all that crap. Unnecessary comments like that just makes me mad.
But I know these group of ladies wont say those type of comments and will be here when we talk about our angel babies and anything about them.
BFP #1 - 04/09/10 -- m/c - 07/02/10 @ 20weeks and 3 days. D&C 07/02/2010 - EDD 11/16/10
BFP #2 12/17/10 please stick turtle. EDD 8/29/11 - Emergency C-Section 7-2-11. Andrew's journey
Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Carolee on her BFP! Stick, baby!
Congratulations to elbandas09, cherylanddoug, tctibbe(MsPegees) and alliejoe for their take home babies!
That is sooo true they do avoid it like the plague. I think my DH is getting more support from his co-workers than I am with most of my family, select few has my back but not even my own mom is on my side. DH never knew that so many of his co-workers wives has been through a miscarriage or 2 and he is getting alot of support from them and advice. Usually ask him how is doing which I am glad they are nice to him while we are apart.
BFP #1 - 04/09/10 -- m/c - 07/02/10 @ 20weeks and 3 days. D&C 07/02/2010 - EDD 11/16/10
BFP #2 12/17/10 please stick turtle. EDD 8/29/11 - Emergency C-Section 7-2-11. Andrew's journey
Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Carolee on her BFP! Stick, baby!
Congratulations to elbandas09, cherylanddoug, tctibbe(MsPegees) and alliejoe for their take home babies!
We love and miss you Jillian (18w) and Peanut (6w). Welcome to our TAC miracle Jacob!
In all actuality 2 wks after Evelyn's death only 2 friends have asked how I'm doing, coping. People seem to avoid it like it's cancer.
Remembering Evelyn and raising Bailey
Evelyn Born at 24wks 6days on May 22, 2010 due to pre-e Passed away May 25, 2010
BFP# 2 Delivered 6wks early due to preeclampsia
TTC since October 2007
Dx with Unexplained IF
IUI #1-3 w/clomid: Jan-March 2010...BFN
IUI #4 w/injectables: April 2010...BFP
1st u/s: 5/17-one little perfect hb@7w2d, 2nd u/s: 6/5-no hb@10w;
missed miscarriage: 6/10 d&c
IUI #5-7 w/injectables: Sept 2010-Jan 2011...BFFN
IVF #1: Feb/March 2011...pretty please let this work!!!!
Expecting twin boys!!!!!
It hasn't been a week and I've only been asked, or more like suggested "are you ok?" as they nod yes. My only choice is to say Yes, I'm fine and change the subject. No one has said to my face "I'm so sorry". Not even DH. No one has let me feel like they want to hear about it or have me let it out on them.
I still haven't cried about the baby. It's coming. I know it. When I see my mommy on Saturday I wont be able to hold back.
I think that everyone is a little afraid to say anything around me or ask me questions. I like talking about Audrina, it helps me deal with all of this. But, I feel like I am constantly talking about her and asking questions, I am scared everyone is getting annoyed with it.
In my opinion, everyone feels like they have to be very delicate and careful about what they say/ask around us, which is probably why some people just avoid it all together.