Just once (poem)

mollywilliams07 · July 2010

This poem is EXACTLY how I have felt since the day Audrina Capri went to Heaven. I did get a chance to hold her and kiss her but she was only here for an hour...

Just once

By Barbara A. Daniels

Just once

I wish I could have...

Spent a late hour rocking you in my arms.

Just once,

I wish I could have...

Gently lain you in your crib,

Changed a diaper,

Chosen an outfit for the day,

Given you a bath,

Soothed your skin with lotion,

Just once,

I wish I could have...

Heard you cry out in lonliness for me,

Spent time alone with you,

Just the two of us,

Strolled you proudly through the shopping mall.

Just once,

I wish I could have heard the words,

"What a beautiful, healthy baby"

Just once...

bgarson · July 2010

I couldn't have said it better. My only consolation is that when I do have those things, I will appreciate them so much more.

tigers413 · July 2010

bgarson:
I couldn't have said it better. My only consolation is that when I do have those things, I will appreciate them so much more.

I absolutely feel the same way. Sometimes I see parents just complain endlessly of all the difficulties of raising children but you are right I too will appreciated them so much more and cherish every moment.

mollywilliams07 · July 2010

tigers413:

bgarson:
I couldn't have said it better. My only consolation is that when I do have those things, I will appreciate them so much more.

I absolutely feel the same way. Sometimes I see parents just complain endlessly of all the difficulties of raising children but you are right I too will appreciated them so much more and cherish every moment.

Same here! I know I will appreciate and love every stinky diaper! I was at Wal-Mart last week or so and saw a lady who seemed to HATE being a mother. It literally broke my heart. I get very frustrated with God because I would do anything in the world for my baby! Why does he allow these sh!tty parents to have healthy babies?!?!? GRRR! Angry Broken Heart

itsmegin · July 2010

bgarson:
I couldn't have said it better. My only consolation is that when I do have those things, I will appreciate them so much more.

I wish this thought gave me comfort, but it makes me feel more bitter. I already would have appreciated my baby without having to go through this hell. I knew I wanted a baby and I would have cherished it even if I hadn't had a loss. I have wanted to be a mom my entire life, wanted it more than anything else. I waited 4.5 years into my marriage before we could start trying. I was ready, I wanted that baby desperately.

mollywilliams07 · July 2010

itsmegin:

bgarson:
I couldn't have said it better. My only consolation is that when I do have those things, I will appreciate them so much more.

I wish this thought gave me comfort, but it makes me feel more bitter. I already would have appreciated my baby without having to go through this hell. I knew I wanted a baby and I would have cherished it even if I hadn't had a loss. I have wanted to be a mom my entire life, wanted it more than anything else. I waited 4.5 years into my marriage before we could start trying. I was ready, I wanted that baby desperately.

I am sorry. I know I do not fully understand your situation or how you are feeling, but i agree with you. I never wanted anything more than to be a mommy. And you are way more deserving than me, because of your marriage. I would have been a single mommy. But, at the same time when I have the chance to have a baby again, I will be so thankful for everything. I know you would have been so thankful for your baby and loved your baby, but for some reason God does these crazy things. For some freaking reason...

itsmegin · July 2010

mollywilliams07:
itsmegin:

bgarson:
I couldn't have said it better. My only consolation is that when I do have those things, I will appreciate them so much more.

I wish this thought gave me comfort, but it makes me feel more bitter. I already would have appreciated my baby without having to go through this hell. I knew I wanted a baby and I would have cherished it even if I hadn't had a loss. I have wanted to be a mom my entire life, wanted it more than anything else. I waited 4.5 years into my marriage before we could start trying. I was ready, I wanted that baby desperately.

I am sorry. I know I do not fully understand your situation or how you are feeling, but i agree with you. I never wanted anything more than to be a mommy. And you are way more deserving than me, because of your marriage. I would have been a single mommy. But, at the same time when I have the chance to have a baby again, I will be so thankful for everything. I know you would have been so thankful for your baby and loved your baby, but for some reason God does these crazy things. For some freaking reason...

You said it girl, seriously. This has sure been a test of my faith!!

I know that this experience will make all of us more appreciative, and I am glad that idea brings people comfort, I guess I just feel like I didn't need the lesson.

I think most of us were ready for babies and didn't need to go through this to appreciate it. I don't mean to offend anyone, it's just something I've been thinking about lately. A lot of poems and condolences focus on how we'll be better moms someday, but I just don't get it, why me? I wouldn't have been good enough before? Why do some people not have to go through a loss?

mollywilliams07 · July 2010

itsmegin:
mollywilliams07:
itsmegin:

bgarson:
I couldn't have said it better. My only consolation is that when I do have those things, I will appreciate them so much more.

I wish this thought gave me comfort, but it makes me feel more bitter. I already would have appreciated my baby without having to go through this hell. I knew I wanted a baby and I would have cherished it even if I hadn't had a loss. I have wanted to be a mom my entire life, wanted it more than anything else. I waited 4.5 years into my marriage before we could start trying. I was ready, I wanted that baby desperately.

I am sorry. I know I do not fully understand your situation or how you are feeling, but i agree with you. I never wanted anything more than to be a mommy. And you are way more deserving than me, because of your marriage. I would have been a single mommy. But, at the same time when I have the chance to have a baby again, I will be so thankful for everything. I know you would have been so thankful for your baby and loved your baby, but for some reason God does these crazy things. For some freaking reason...

You said it girl, seriously. This has sure been a test of my faith!!

I know that this experience will make all of us more appreciative, and I am glad that idea brings people comfort, I guess I just feel like I didn't need the lesson.

I think most of us were ready for babies and didn't need to go through this to appreciate it. I don't mean to offend anyone, it's just something I've been thinking about lately. A lot of poems and condolences focus on how we'll be better moms someday, but I just don't get it, why me? I wouldn't have been good enough before? Why do some people not have to go through a loss?

I have been struggling to keep faith, even though I hate to admit it. My pastor came over on Saturday before Audrina's funeral and he was just explaining to me that she beat me home. He was telling me that we are here on this earth going through all of these struggles and pain. Our babies were lucky enough to skip all of this and get right where we want to be. But, sadly enough, that isn't good enough for me. I am sorry, but I want my baby HERE! I know she is in a better place, but still. That is just me being selfish I guess.

And I agree with you, I am sure you didn't need the lesson. I feel the same way. I don't think I needed the lesson.

Just once (poem)

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