I found out I was pregnant earlier this week and after three days of happiness I started spotting and cramping. Then last night at about 1 in the morning I ran to the bathroom in pain and I started passing blood clots. I went to the dr. this morning and had an u/s done and everything major has already come out through the evening.?
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I know this is a touchy subject, but how long does the hurt last for? As in the emotional pain. I only knew I was pregnant for a few days, and I was very early in, but I still feel really sad. And I kinda feel stupid for feeling so sad after having known for only a few days.?
Re: Miscarried Last Night...
So sorry.
In response to your question. Unfortunately, it depends. It is so personal. For me it ebbs and flows. For the first bit, I couldn't imagine moving on. Then one day, I could - it was like the sun peeking out after a couple weeks of cloudiness. It's been two months and while I have ups and downs and my body is not back to normal, I am feeling more and more positive as time goes on. I think people whould generally agree that you will def have "moments" for a long time thou if not forever.
No reason to feel stupid for being sad. It is sad.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to say how long you will be emotionally drained. Do not feel stupid for feeling sad. You have every right.
Rose
3 m/c's
((hugs)) I'm sorry for your loss. And don't feel stupid for feeling sad. It is only natural. You lost you baby. Emotionally it can take a while. I noticed after 3 months it got easier and now that it will be 6 months post m/c in 8 days, I have come to terms with it. But it has taken 6 long months and seeing a councelor to get all my feeling and fristrations out.
These boards have been tremendous help.
DD#1 born June '09
DD#2 born April '11
TTC #3 as of July '14
I am so so sorry for your loss. Please don't feel stupid, it is an unfair and extremely painful thing to go through no matter how far along you are.
The hurt lasts for awhile ... but I think if you take it day by day, each day it gets a little better. I cried everyday for the first week. Then I cried just a few times a week for the next week or two and now I get sad sometimes, but it has become a part of my life ... of my story. Its also different for everyone ... you might heal faster then someone else ... or it might take you a bit longer.
I'm so sorry. *hugs*
I am really sorry for your loss. I have had two early losses - I am waiting for the physical part to start for my second one - and after my first one I felt the same way - I was not pregnant for long and I felt weird about feeling so shattered. I have learned - there have been studies - that a very early loss is not just the loss of a potential baby for women - we feel the loss of the baby, the child that will never be, the teenager that will never be, the adult child that will never be, the grandchildren that will never be.
So please do not feel silly - it is heartbreaking and the end of a dream - at least temporarily.
You are definitely not alone.
Lisa
I am so sorry. ?Your pain is real and it is ok to feel sad. ?I was reading the other night that your emotional pain deepens the more closely attached you were to the baby. ?Even though it was only a few days, we all know the excitement and instant love that comes along with finding out you are having the baby you want so much. ?
The pain does get better, but I don't think it will ever go away 100%. ?And that is ok. ?You've been through a loss and may always miss what could have been. ?My first loss will be a year ago next week and I had only known for a week, but it was devastating. ?Right now focus on ways to work through the grief and be kind to yourself.
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I miscarried this week as well. We'd been trying for almost a year and a half. I was only one week into knowing about the baby when we lost it. I was surprised by the strength of my emotions. It was worse that my husband was in another city, interviewing for a job. I still get teary when I see a baby, but I'm trying to focus on tomorrow. This was my first pregnancy, so the odds of our next one will be much better. I just try to think about that. Good luck to you and I hope things get better day by day. There is no set pattern for grieving. We all do it in our own way in our own time. Maybe it helps that you're not alone.
First, I'm very sorry for you and your loss.
Second, don't ever feel stupid for being sad about losing a child, no matter how far along you were. I lost my first at 8 weeks and I thought my world was going to end. It was a year in May and there are still times when I cry about it, even though I am now 31 weeks pregnant with another little miracle. There is no way to tell how long you will hurt, and you shouldn't put a limit on yourself. It's not something that you can just "get over" It will get better in time, even though it doesn't feel like it now. I'll be praying for you.
APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)