2nd Trimester

Apparently I'm the worlds worst daughter.

I have one pet peeve.  And that's when someone tells me a time for something (whether that be dinner, a date, etc) and it ends up NEVER being that time.

With my mom.  It's dinner.  I live with her (for now) and she insists on cooking dinner for the family.  Well.  As a pregnant lady... I have to eat a lot.  So, I ask her every. single. day. when dinner will be... so I can plan my other meals around that... so I end up hungry and ready to eat at dinner.  Well.  EVERYDAY she tells me a time... and it's atleast at hour or two past the time she told me to eat.  So, I can either starve and wait to eat with the family, or find something else of my own to eat.  I think this is rude. I told her that this frustrates me... cause I would like to eat with the family but I can't be hungry for an hour or two when there's no reason for it.  I'M GROWING A BABY afterall.  Maybe I'm just hormonal... but don't tell your pregnant daughter to be hungry at 7 when you aren't going to eat till 8:30 (or whatever time). 

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Re: Apparently I'm the worlds worst daughter.

  • I HATE late people/situations!  And I feel you on the eating thing.  I throw up if I wait too long to eat, which is not enjoyable.  :)  I'd be annoyed, too. 
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  • How old are you?!!   Make your own food, or better yet, why don't you make the meal for the family.  Just because you live with mom doesn't mean she should have to cater to you.  JMO though.
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  • Rink08Rink08 member
    If it's that big of an issue where you are starving, eat something small to hold you over. Your mom is being nice enough to make you dinner each night and I'm assuming that you are an adult capable of doing it yourself. Maybe you could help her so the dinner would be ready for the time that she had told you it would be.

    Edited to fix the "spelling corrections" my phone made.
  • Whoa whoa whoa.  I am an adult, and I do make dinner for the family.  My mom is a chef and loves to cook... so she cooks more than anyone.  I cook dinner for the family about 2 nights a week.  And, I do help my mom with dinner each and every night... but she hardly lets you help cause "as a chef she knows what she's doing..." 

    And, I hate having to eat a pre-dinner dinner just because someone told me to be hungry at a certain time... so I am... and then nothing is ready. 

    I think it just bugs me because she KNOWS I'm planning my meals so I'm not hungry... it's not like I don't ask her when dinner is and then get annoyed because it wasn't done and I just happened to be hungry...

  • You live in the guest house, right? Either way, I hate when my mother is all "my way or  the highway" still. I am 28 and married, ya crazy! You're staying there bc you have to right now, which she knows. She's treating you like "you're under my roof, my rules" still which I can kind of get but sheesh! Don't get pissy when you ask what time, she tells you and that is not the case in actuality!

    Bah! Good luck, babe!

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  • imageOctoberBabyH:

    You live in the guest house, right? Either way, I hate when my mother is all "my way or  the highway" still. I am 28 and married, ya crazy! You're staying there bc you have to right now, which she knows. She's treating you like "you're under my roof, my rules" still which I can kind of get but sheesh! Don't get pissy when you ask what time, she tells you and that is not the case in actuality!

    Bah! Good luck, babe!

    Yeh, I live in the guest house.  Thank god.  Cause then I can go there and shut the door :P Haha.  No, I love my mom but... It's just annoying cause it's like... she almost does it on purpose... just because she can.  And, it bugs me that here I am 7 months pregnant and starving and she's just like... oh well...  we'll eat in two hours.  Ha.

  • toriitorii member

    My mom is like this, too. She invites us over to dinner at say, 6:30 and we will never eat until at least one hour past that time. I used to get so frustrated about it, but now we show up a little after 6:30 with the mindset that we aren't eating until 7:30 so that hour is just for visiting or helping.

    She's late for EVERYTHING. She was even late for my college graduation. She calls doctors to tell them she's running late. I honestly don't know how I got the "15 minutes early and I'm on time. If I'm on time, I'm late," gene because it definitely didn't come from her!

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  • DH knows not to mess with my 1.) Food, if I don't eat it gets ugly 2.) Sleep I've had BAD insomina so if I am sleeping just let me be!
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  • imageDaniLorello:
    DH knows not to mess with my 1.) Food, if I don't eat it gets ugly 2.) Sleep I've had BAD insomina so if I am sleeping just let me be!

    There is seriously nothing worse than people who KNOW your pregnant being loud when you're trying to sleep.  Seriously.  I could throw punches when that happens.

  • imagelake919:

    imageDaniLorello:
    DH knows not to mess with my 1.) Food, if I don't eat it gets ugly 2.) Sleep I've had BAD insomina so if I am sleeping just let me be!

    There is seriously nothing worse than people who KNOW your pregnant being loud when you're trying to sleep.  Seriously.  I could throw punches when that happens.

    I know right?! DH woke me up for something world cup related and I was all "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" hahahaha I probably would have cared had I been awake anyway but I SO wasn't and it ruined my morning! bah!

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  • It's not like you don't have options.  Cook for yourself or eat a light snack.  It doesn't have to be a pre dinner dinner, it could be yogurt and fruit, half a peanut butter sandwich.  Your an adult eat when you need too.
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  • If you know she's going to be late, start making your own meals You can still sit at the table and munch some bread or nibble some corn to be with people, but when you're hungry, make yourself a mac'n'cheese.
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  • imageRoseTor:
    It's not like you don't have options.  Cook for yourself or eat a light snack.  It doesn't have to be a pre dinner dinner, it could be yogurt and fruit, half a peanut butter sandwich.  Your an adult eat when you need too.

    This. Either start to make your own dinner- so that you can control when you eat, or start eating small snacks to hold you over. Nobody likes when people run late- especially when it is habitually, but your post makes you sound very ungrateful.

  • Um, do we have the mother? My mother lives in her own time zone. DH and I go over to my parent's house every Sunday for dinner. Mom knows I hate eating later than 7 because I get very uncomfortable if I do. When she calls to ask if there is anything I really want for dinner I always ask what time we will be eating and she normally always says 6. A few nights we didn't eat until 8:30. I have told her that if we aren't eating until late I can't come over for dinner.  

  • MSC03MSC03 member

    Since when can you not feed yourself? Are you not a grown woman?

    You may be a guest in your mother's home, but she is not your slave.

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  • MSC03MSC03 member
    imagelake919:
    imageOctoberBabyH:

    You live in the guest house, right? Either way, I hate when my mother is all "my way or  the highway" still. I am 28 and married, ya crazy! You're staying there bc you have to right now, which she knows. She's treating you like "you're under my roof, my rules" still which I can kind of get but sheesh! Don't get pissy when you ask what time, she tells you and that is not the case in actuality!

    Bah! Good luck, babe!

    Yeh, I live in the guest house.  Thank god.  Cause then I can go there and shut the door :P Haha.  No, I love my mom but... It's just annoying cause it's like... she almost does it on purpose... just because she can.  And, it bugs me that here I am 7 months pregnant and starving and she's just like... oh well...  we'll eat in two hours.  Ha.

    Maybe it's her passive-aggressive way to get you out of the house. Take the hint!

    imageimage
  • This used to bug the crap out of me when I first met my ILs.

    MIL says dinner's at 4, we eat at 6.

    I eventually wised up and made sure I wouldn't be hungry at 4.

    My SIL, who's been the family 13 years STILL doesn't get it. It makes me mad because she brings my nephew hungry, ready to eat at 4. STUPID!

  • is this post for real? 

    let me help solve this massive problem for you: EAT A SNACK

     

    and if you can't handle that then cook your own meals you littleshit. lol 

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  • I am willing to bet if your mom is a cook and is very set on cooking the majority of the family meals, she'd probably be a little perturbed(sp?) if you weren't eating them.... eat a few pre-dinner meals a few nights in a row and she might get the hint if when she asks why you aren't hungry you say "oh I was hungry about an hour and a half ago" 

    Although I don't live with my mom, she is very strong willed and if she says she's making dinner, breakfast, lunch... whatever... you damn sure better be there to eat it. So I get that you are annoyed but probably don't want to start the fight with her. 

  • delg23delg23 member

    imagelovedan*:

    is this post for real? 

    let me help solve this massive problem for you: EAT A SNACK

     

    and if you can't handle that then cook your own meals you littleshit. lol 


    word. Eat a snack & eat less at the dinner table. I wish my mom had a guest house much less one I could stay in and have her cook chef quality food for me. I get cranky about meals too, but thats usually because I'm waiting on someone who expects me to wait for them and who isn't cooking for me. 


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  • Here's an idea. If you're old enough to be pregnant, you're old enough to prepare your own food. If you're hungry, eat. It sounds like your mom is a busy lady, taking care of others. Find something more important to *** about.
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  • I agree with the others....eat a snack.  A cheese stick, 1/2 apple with peanut butter something but stop whining.  It does sound like you are being very ungrateful.  You talk about starving....well you are living in a guest house, not under a bridge or homeless shelter.  When you are doing that, then you can complain about starving.  There are seriously millions over the world that are TRULY starving.  At least you get your food.  We are all feeding our babies and when we get hungry, we eat.  You are lucky to have a mother who is a chef.  If it bothers you that much, only eat with the family 1X a week and then prepare the rest yourself.  Like others have said, it isn't like you don't have options.......
  • :) i love that this post got brought back up again.
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  • Wow, after reading some of these replies I think that some people let their hormones get the best of them. I hate chronically late people myself, and if someone were to insist on cooking for everybody, and then be consistenly later than he/she said, I'd be aggravated too, I would be making my own snack, but I wouldn't feel "ungrateful" for being irritated.
  • In general, I hate when I have plans and people aren't timely...and I understand the food frustration but I would also think twice about taking it out on mom.  Like many I would get sick earlier in my pregnancy if I didn't eat like every 2 hours.  Try to understand that she is cooking for the family and that schedule, or lack of might work for the rest of the family and that you are going to be a little extra sensitive because of your pregnancy needs.  If you know that dinner is typically an hour or more past the time she says, then just plan on that and grab a healthy snack to tide you over.  Maybe being more timly isn't a priority because she feels under appreciated with people complaining about how quick she puts dinner on the table for them?  Remember cooking for your family is an act of love-even if it is something she personally enjoys doing.  Just think, one day you will be cooking for your children and how you'd feel working hard to put together a meal for them while they complain about it...

    I lost my mom 10 years ago and would love nothing more than to wait for a meal prepared by her.

  • I wish I had someone cooking me an amazing meal every night...late or not.  you say it's habitually late...well eat at the time dinner is supposed to be at, and when dinner is actually ready, you'll be hungry again or just eat a small plate of food if you want to be with the family. 
  • imagerider5344:
    How old are you?!!   Make your own food, or better yet, why don't you make the meal for the family.  Just because you live with mom doesn't mean she should have to cater to you.  JMO though.
  • imagerider5344:
    How old are you?!!   Make your own food, or better yet, why don't you make the meal for the family.  Just because you live with mom doesn't mean she should have to cater to you.  JMO though.

     Huh???  That is so rude, why would you come to this board to insult other people???   You must think you're pretty special, clearly you are not.  You should be ashamed, being prego is no excuse to be a rude bi*ch!!

  • I'm not pregnant, but I do get grumpy when I get hungry and I get headaches.  I carry around a granola bar in my pocketbook so that I can munch on it when I get hungry.  It's just a little something to tide me over and stave off the headaches.

    My hubbie used to get angry.  He would take the granola bar away and tell me to wait for dinner, but he has learned his lesson.  I feel much better when I have SOMETHING in my tummy.

  • LOL!  I hear ya sister!  My three items NOT to be messed with are 1. FOOD - simple, if i am hungry, i eat, whether in "interferes with someone else's schedule or not   2. Air Conditining (we've been in a heat wave ALL WEEK! 40 degree celcilus weather!) if you are cold in my house - put some clothes on  3. My Sleep - simple, DO NOT wake me up if i am sleeping, unless previsouly instructed to do so........

     It is NOT a pretty sight if any of the above 3 items are messed with in ANY way at all.........

  •  If dinner is always 1 to 2 hrs late, then schedule your meals with that in mind.  Girl! when that baby comes your schedule is going to be so wacked, so my advice is to roll with it, life cant be so scheduled that you miss the fun. I know that later he will be scheduled feedings, but even then you will need to bend.

  • I can understand your frustration, and I think a lot of women on here are being a little insensitive about your situation.  I'm sure there is a part of you that's grateful you're mom is cooking, and surely you COULD prepare dinner for yourself, but I don't think that's the point of your post.   Reading about your mom makes me think of someone I used to live with; she insisted on making dinner every night and would cry and took it very personally if you didn't eat the exact amount she thought you should eat.  While I always appreciated this person's efforts, it's also very frustrating to be treated like a little kid who has all her meals decided for her. If this was the case for you, night after night after night, I could see why you'd begin to feel a little resentful, especially if your mom INSISTS she's the only one who should cook for the family.

    In my couple of months of pregnancy, I have learned that there's NOTHING like pregnancy hungry!  I will be fine one second and all of a sudden I am on the couch not wanting to move because my stomach hurts so bad.  I think a snack is the best way to go.  Or, if that won't work, there's nothing saying you can't just sit with your family while they eat if you chose to eat your own self-prepared dinner earlier.  If this is an issue with mom, just tell her you're getting heartburn if you eat too close to bedtime.  You're not going to change your mom's timeliness, but you could try to find a compromise.
  • imagekristana25:

     If dinner is always 1 to 2 hrs late, then schedule your meals with that in mind. 

    This is the answer I was looking for. Although when I was pregnant I would just eat every two hours.  half a sandwich, maybe some chips and drink. or crackers. etc...

  • Just eat something light whenever you start feeling hungry, whenever that is. If you're hungry, Baby is hungry. It could be a palmful of nuts, a snack bar, a piece of fruit - doesn't have to be an entire meal. That should tie you over for an hour or two, and you'll still have an appetite to eat and be able to sit down with your family for dinner.
  • Oh my goodness is this really a problem!! Just eat a snack!!!
  • hey chick

     obviously some of the ppl on here who are so negative have never had to live with their mother as an adult.... regardless what the circumstances are (we did for a few months to help her out).  Some mothers are just over bearing.. and while we love them we really shouldnt ever live with them lol.... neways

    if you know your mothers always late by an hour or two adjust your snack schedule accordingly... (just like with my husbands fam who is habitually late... we have to tell them to b 2 hr early for them to be on time. they tell me its mexican time lol)   But most likely there are other things bothering you...i find it helps to set a move out date so you can have your own little count down... 

    and remember you are grown... so if you need to do something just for you ur not being the worlds worst daughter even though she makes you feel like it.  You gotta do whats right for you and your family (that is you ur dh and ur lo)  no one else is more important.. they are blood and all but they come second to your family! 

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  • all that matters is you and the baby.  I say eat when you need cause if you are like me i get super nauseous the minute i start to feel hungry!  try to eat a larger lunch and snack if you can up until dinner.   
  • MSC03MSC03 member
    Oh jesus, is this discussion really being bumped up by a bunch of people who don't realize that this post was days (weeks?) ago and that the OP is totally insane?
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  •           Agreed. I'm an adult too and I physically canNOT cook the larger meals in this house due to raw meat smells making me feel ill. I especially feel that way when I'm starving (which seems to be 24/7 now) so I can't face cooking the food, since I'm a naturally impatient person when my body is saying "Eat something...now!". Three minutes cooking something in the microwave feels like an eternity at the moment, so I would rater have someone else watching the clock as it ticks down. My hubby is very supportive of this factor and manages to get the meals prepped and on the stove or in the oven in a very short time because he knows if I don't keep something on my stomach constantly, then he's going to hear me retching in the toilet. We do have granola bars and things around the house for me to grab in case I feel like I'm on the verge of throwing up due to an empty stomach.

               However, it's really tough to cook even small meals for yourself when pregnant and I commend lake for doing so twice a week. I admire anyone who can cook, work, and clean the house when in this state. It's a really difficult thing to do. True, she should grab a little snack or something to tide herself over until dinner is actually served (when it is not her night to cook), but I know how that does not satisfy when it's been awhile since the last main meal. I experience this when I visit my parents' house. It's okay to share your opinion rider5344, but I feel more tact could have been used to make it a mature answer. We preggos have to stick together! :-)   That's JMO...

  • imagelake919:

    Whoa whoa whoa.  I am an adult, and I do make dinner for the family.  My mom is a chef and loves to cook... so she cooks more than anyone.  I cook dinner for the family about 2 nights a week.  And, I do help my mom with dinner each and every night... but she hardly lets you help cause "as a chef she knows what she's doing..." 

    And, I hate having to eat a pre-dinner dinner just because someone told me to be hungry at a certain time... so I am... and then nothing is ready. 

    I think it just bugs me because she KNOWS I'm planning my meals so I'm not hungry... it's not like I don't ask her when dinner is and then get annoyed because it wasn't done and I just happened to be hungry...

    Ugh, I know how the chef thing is... One of my ex-bf's was a "chef," so whenever we would cook together, I was almost always left out of it.  And if she really cooks that much, then she should have an accurate idea of when dinner will be ready, assuming that she knows what she's going to be making.  So I can see how it would bug you.  However, it could be the hormones screwing with you as well.  I know mine do! :)

    As far as pre-dinner dinner goes, though, you don't have to eat a full meal beforehand.  Keep little snacks available that you can eat to tide you over, but not ruin your appetite.  My husband's in the military and he gets home a different time every day, so I never know when I can cook dinner.  I usually eat a small bowl of cereal, or baby carrots, or some Greek yogurt with honey, and that usually does it for me until dinner is ready.

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