January 2011 Moms
DaniGirl0517
member
Never having sex again!
DaniGirl0517
member
Okay well not never but I just don't wanna! We had sex two days in a row after we got our BFP and then nothing since. I'd been feeling bad for DH and well...manually helped him...once but the sight of fluids made me gag for some reason. So then I said I only wanted to have real sex and only once we got the go-ahead from the dr's office, so the nurse said it was okay but then I wanted to wait until after the u/s which was today. So this afternoon we did finally and right after I started cramping and crying. I haven't spotted so it isn't a big deal or anything but it still hurts down there. This isn't really new since I never wanted to before but I feel bad for DH. I'm going to see what my Dr says Friday. I want to be a good wife but I just don't wanna do that 
I know I'm overreacting btw, but had to vent.
I know I'm overreacting btw, but had to vent.This discussion has been closed.
Re: Never having sex again!
I feel your pain....I'm on pelvic rest for a little while so decided to manually help DH yesterday in the shower. Well he was getting me all worked up and even though we never had intercourse I did have a little cramping after. I know it's b/c it made my uterus contract, but it still sucks that we can't enjoy it without worrying afterwards.
GL and I know it's upsetting but it is normal and having sex can't cause anything to go wrong
I personally have found it matters more what positions are in use and the amount of errr thrust! Him on top GENTLY seems to not hurt or cramp during or after.
This.
My DH would love to have sex but we haven't since BFP either. I'm just uninterested. Plus I tend to not feel well at night. I feel so bad for DH I know he is getting frustrated with me.
Oy! Don't you want though?
I've been getting cramping all day no matter what I do, and honestly I need to have sex. I just can't imagine not having it when I want it. My hubby tried to pull the "I don't want to poke baby" act but I demanded and he caved and now we are happily back on schedule.
I want a husband like this!!!!! Then I wouldn't feel bad for not wanting to have sex. LOL.
In the first trimester, I couldn't even think about sex. The weight, the sweat, the utter pain of it all. We are in the second now and the pain has let up but I think I now have a mental block against it. Since it hurt so long, I am afraid it'll hurt now. The hubby has been really understanding and we do what we can, but it has made me completely uninterested.
I have to believe it'll get better. That, or we are having only one child and then I'm moving to a nunnery. But, I think the easiest way to get through this now is to have a very frank, open discussion with the hubby and outline what you might be able to do.
A good thing to pinpoint and explain to your Dr at your next visit: Do you cramp after sex, or simply after orgasm? Meaning... if you were brough to orgasm through oral or lighter/gentler manual stimulation, do you still have pain and cramping? Or does it have to be sex?
This, exactly. I've helped him out manually a few times but it seems to make him more irritated that I won't do "more." He actually came out and *asked* for oral the other day, and I had to gently explain I can't even put a toothbrush in my mouth without gagging.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
I've really enjoyed sex during my whole pregnancy (I'm at about 30 weeks now)! Sometimes, though, I would get uncomfortable during, and it almost felt like he was pushing against my cervix. It was too deep to feel good. I have found the solution though! When I have my O prior to any penetration, this relaxes everything and actually feels so much better to me. Then, we can both enjoy ourselves
Also, I will say that, as I get bigger, doggie-style is the only position that is comfortable for me. It allows the most room for my stomach to be free, and this way, there is no pressure on my belly!
Good luck - I know that "not being in the mood" puts stress on the relationship. Hopefully, DH will understand that it is just temporary and stick by you!
I have a solution to the pain, gagging, not being in the mood, etc.
It is a 'bedroom accessory' that is for him. I sell romance enhancement products and this toy is by far my best seller.
Go to www.SlumberPartiesbySuzanne.com and click on the 'shop' button. Find the toy called 'Super Stretch Sleeve.' You will also need lubricant, I recommend our product called 'Just Like Me.' This lube is safe to use with this toy.
Of course, he can use it alone, which would take some pressure off of you if you just don't feel like having sex.
You can also use it during the oral favor. Most likely, when he puts the toy on him he will just barely poke out of the top. This means less gagging for you, because you won't even really have to open your mouth very far
You can also cut the toy to make it smaller, and put it at the base of the penis. It will act as a penis buffer so that your sensitive cervix won't get bumped during intercourse.
This toy has been a lifesaver for me! You can order it directly from my website and it will be shipped to your door. If you have questions feel free to email me at
s.chagolla@gmail.com
Good luck and I really hope this can help some of you!
You could always so "Ok, you asked for it." Have him lay down, start to perform and the spit up stomach acid all over his pelvis (Just like I do every morning while/after brushing my teeth) and I'll bet you he doesn't ask again.
My thing with sex is how it feels on my pelvis. My hubby's member feels like it is going to poke right out of my body. *Not an enjoyable sensation.
I agree. I'm 36 weeks pregnant and other than a few weeks each trimester, we've been on a good schedule, some weeks we had a "busier" schedule than before the pregnancy lol. But sometimes there isn't a thing in the world that could get you in the mood. If you both remember it will get better that helps. You may even make up for it later
Currently the best position for us is on our side with him behind me. its frustrating the first time but really helps with pain afterwords. We used missionary as our primary for as long as we could then went to me sitting on his lap. But I'm huge now!
I can empathize with anyone having trouble with all of the sex issues, but I have a comment. If we ARE ALL having cramping, don't you think it is normal? I think orgasm is a "cramping" sensation in the body, but we feel it more intensely and crampy because we have a uterus and baby in the way!!! I have been cleared for sex, lifting, exercise, gardening , cardio and I still have that cramping right after sex, but after a few minutes it dissapates. Also for those who are repulsed in the 1st trimester.......wait til' your second.... I have more sex now than before pregnancy.
This made me giggle. I had the same problem with cramping especially after the first couple of months. And then of course after that you feel bigger than a barn. And then you have the baby and can't for 6 weeks. Then you go back to work and between that and a newborn you don't have energy. And then you start resenting dear sweet hubby because you are more tired and have the worse job. And then you turn into ME! haha
You just have to remember that even if he complains, you still have it much worse than him. I told DH that many times, poor you you can't have sex, poor me I have to grow a human life and pop it out and then wait a YEAR before getting back to normal. So yeah, you win!