So how to tell DH he's not invited..

**Octoberbride09** · June 2010

I really wanted to go to the mall by myself and purchase my baby shower dress and a few other knick nacks so I told DH that I'd be going to the mall after work. He just invited himself {so bizarre, DH HATES shopping} I wish I could just tell him I'd rather him just stay home.

Ever have those days you just want to be alone?

LILBIT1221 · June 2010

Yeah...My DH is out of town this weekend...I am SO looking forward to it!

LadyDelilah · June 2010

Yep my target time is like some other women taking long baths its theraputic lol. I cured DH of it. When he kept coming with me I waited to take Amya (our 2yr old DN) with us in the close to nap time range and "free shopped" meaning no list. It irritated him so much he stopped going with me... I find saying Im going to go do X be back in a few and dashing out the door is effective

Ivana_Stolichnaya · June 2010

All the time. Tell him you're going alone. I hate when I'm at the mall with DH and I want to shop...like shop, not just wonder around. It seems like DH always wants to do what he wants to do. I'll be looking at some clothes and he always wants to leave...I get annoyed with that. He also questions everything I like and makes it a point to ask "how much?"

ebriddle · June 2010

Since the LO has been on the way, I have felt a little quieter and more independent some days-- I think this worried DH a little at first since I'm usually the one getting him out of the garage (loves his car/anything mechanical) to get out and do stuff! I just had to come out and say that I just needed a little more me time these days, and that it had nothing to do with our relationship!

I totally feel you on this--he may just want some couple time though! Happy shopping either way

Dobie_Mama · June 2010

Oh yeah. My H knows that I need alone time or I turn into She Hulk.

chewychigozie · June 2010

Wow! Serious?? LOL!I love it when my husband goes shopping with me. Especially.... Victoria Secret! He starts grining and smiling like a fool and teasing me! Anyways, i have never had a problem..... LOL!

CourtneyR2N · June 2010

I love it when DH goes shopping with me because I can never make a decision. But I get the alone time thing. DH goes and plays softball with his buddies one night a week and I LOVE having the house all to myself that night.

krienzo · June 2010

Kindly tell him that you appreciate his wanting to be there, but you really need to have this alone time, as your chances of being alone are decreasing daily...

My DH hates shopping and once in a while he'll do this to me. I tell him to stay away. LOL

tashaobrien · June 2010

Ivana.Stolichnaya:
All the time. Tell him you're going alone. I hate when I'm at the mall with DH and I want to shop...like shop, not just wonder around. It seems like DH always wants to do what he wants to do. I'll be looking at some clothes and he always wants to leave...I get annoyed with that. He also questions everything I like and makes it a point to ask "how much?"

OMG, if I wasn't sitting here reading this right now, I would have thought that I wrote it. This is sooo the issue with me and DH EVERYTIME I go to the mall. And the thing is, he gets mad if I don't ask if he wants to come. I switched up on him though. I go to the mall after work now...lol.

erica5913 · June 2010

My husband is in the Army, and we've only had 2-4 weeks together each year for the past 2 years. I miss doing things like that with him, but honestly, if he were here right this minute, I'd LOVE to leave the kids with him for a few hours so I could have some alone time ( we have three babies 2 and under, plus the one on the way!). Everytime he comes home, I get pregnant, then he goes back off to his work, and I've got the kids by myself 24/7. At this point, I just want to go to the bathroom by myself- that would count as alone time for me!

MJHershey · June 2010

Ask him why he wants to go along if he hates shopping, because you don't want to deal with the attitude.

Yes I have those days. DH will be gone the night of the 19th on a boy's overnight thing.. and I am actually excited to have a night to myself. Hammock, ice cream and a good book.. here I come.

mandytesshoit · June 2010

I want my husband to go shopping with me as it is our baby and he is very excited about it all too, but I do understand about needing the alone time and sometimes he takes a little too long deciding on one thing. Just be honest with him but make sure to include him other times!

P.S. I am new here, what is DH and why abbreviate?

MamaWolf77 · June 2010

i'm all about my alone time! husband knows better than to come shopping with me by now - he basically becomes a 200-pound weight around my ankle! i always tell him, this can take me 30 minutes if i'm alone, OR, 2 hours if you come with me. by some miracle, it always ends up taking me 30 minutes

AllieandTonyJ · June 2010

@Mandytess- Abbreviations are used for words or phrases that are used commonly on the board so that posters don't have to type them out repeatedly. DH stands for "darling/dear husband." You can find a list of the most common abbreviations here: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/blogs/nest_baby_editors/pages/the-bump-community-glossary.aspx

McCradyToBe · June 2010

I love when my DH comes shopping with me...if there is a chair in the change room area he'll sit and wait and likes to see everything and will even grab me other stuff! but i hate when it's my turn....i get so bored sitting there waiting for him when he's changing...but i smile and pretend to semi enjoy it! bahaha! luckily for me, he doesn't shop for himself much.

DH stands for dear/darling? i thought Dream! He's my Dream Husband anyway! hahah thanks for the link i had a hard time finding it again.

finfinfin · June 2010

He's probably just trying to be supportive and make sure you are okay. Next time, drop him off at the sports bar in the mall (Friday's, Hooter's, whatever...) and tell him you will call when ready. Most husbands would be happy as a clam.

finfinfin · June 2010

I should put an addendum to that...maybe you are spending too much money and that's why he is suddenly eager to go...to try to limit the damage. If that's the case, just add "I won't buy anything over $XX without consulting you!" and then go enjoy yourself.

espitkm · June 2010

I thought I wanted alone time too. But now I realize since the baby has been born (12 days old), there is no more DH and me time anymore. And I really miss the time! Enjoy it now when you can!

dianadoyle88 · June 2010

i love having DH on shopping trips because he pays! and that way i don't have to justify/defend all my purchases or "shop smart" (sales, etc) since he's there to witness the purchases in the first place.

sublime_savvy · June 2010

Since you're getting further along, DH is probably trying to show you he's interested in your interests and being supportive, especially since he's not usually a shopper.

If you really want the alone time, let him know gently that you want some girl time, but you'd love to snuggle up with him later that evening or go to dinner. Just support him as much as he tried to support you--he's got changing feelings about this baby as much as you do, believe it or not.

So how to tell DH he's not invited..

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