Alright girls. The whole LONG story. Here goes nothing..
I'm Amanda. I'm 20 years old. I have a 4 month old beautiful little blessing, Nathan. I'm gonna try to make this not way too long, yet still long enough for everybody to know my whole story, with complete honesty. Where do I begin...
I was with my high school sweetheart (Mike) for a long time. We lived together half the time (he had his own apartment and after I turned 18 I practically moved in). We were crazy in love with each other, and I was so sure I'd spend my entire life with him. Unfortunately, I found out he had been stealing from his work. I tried to stay with him through the tough times, but he lost everything. Not only did I lose trust/respect for him, but he had to move 4 hours away to live with his parents again because he obviously lost his job and had no money to pay for court costs and such. Well, after 4 months of long distance and me staying with him despite my unhappiness, I left him. I moved out, got my own apartment, had a job, and loved my life. I was obviously still heartbroken.
Then I met Kevin (DB). I wasn't attracted to him, and I thought he was arrogant and annoying. I didn't like him at all. However, my ''friends'' at the time, convinced me to go on a date with him. He did and said all the right things. He got me right where he wanted me, and after a few weeks, I agreed to be his girlfriend. For a while it was fun, although I knew it was just a rebound and he was just kind of 'there'. I knew it wasn't going anywhere, and I really didn't care. I started to mistake my 'comfortable' feelings for 'care&love', when clearly that wasn't the case. I didn't love him. I didn't care about him. Helll, I didn't even like him. He lived an hour away, and convinced me to let him move in. If you didn't notice, after losing Mike, I became a depressed pushover. He moved in and things got bad. I lost my job (the business I worked for went under) and I couldn't make rent. He told me not to worry and that he'd help out till I found another job (and trust me, I applied and tried everywhere). He ordered cable, DVR, HD.. the works,, and stupid me let him convince me to put it all in my name since it was at my apartment, which obviously had only my name on the lease. Well, the night I got pregnant, I knew I was ovulating. I had gotten off the BCP for insurance/financial reasons, and he was aware of this. We had decided to use the pull-out method. (He is allergic to latex, I know that is true I've seen his medical records to prove it, and lets just say it wasn't really on my mind to run out and get some sheepskin condoms at 10 o clock at night). Well, he promised he would pull out, and he didn't. After I realized, he said, ''yeah, that just happened'', and left the room. I won't lie, part of me wanted to get pregnant. I've always wanted to be a Mom, and I was so upset over losing Mike that I thought it would never happen. I didn't think I would get pregnant (obviously I thought he was gonna pull out), so I wasn't too upset when I found out.
Anyways, about 2 weeks later I dumped him. I threw him out and kicked him to the curb for various reasons (he was cruel and insulting, he was tempermental, he seemed violent, he was still talking to/sleeping with/in love with his ex fiance). A week later, I found out I was pregnant. I called him and told him, and he said, "I don't know what to tell you" and hung up. He showed up at my apartment later that day saying he wanted to try to make things work for the baby and such. I've never been one to be with someone just because a child is involved, so I said no. We spent the day together. He kept making comments like his life was over, and that he wouldn't be involved if it wasn't a girl, but I brushed it off as joking, because he sounded half sarcastic. He was leaving for Georgia for military things, and I was 5 weeks pregnant. We decided to 'try again', and I think I really only did it because I was confused and alone. Well, he didn't pay the rent/cable bills like he promised. I woke up one morning to an eviction notice and nothing to do about it. I called him and he said ''I'm not paying that sh!t, you're moving in with me and my parents". I didn't want to do that at all. I asked family & friends for help, but nobody was willing. I hated his family. I hated him. I moved in, because I felt I had no other choice at the time. Thats when it all started.
He would tell me I looked 'retarded' while I was getting sick with M/S. When I was too queasy to eat he would literally shove food in my mouth. When I would fall asleep early he would pick me up and carry me outside (in the rain one time) to 'get me fresh air to wake me up because im lazy and have no reason to sleep since i dont work'. He would whack me in the vagina and say 'think fast!'. He would open the shower curtain while I was in there and start peeing on me. He would always call me fat & a heffer, and laugh at me for my tight clothes ( I was bloated, I was in my 1st tri, I couldn't help it!). Then he started getting really crazy. He took my credit cards and maxed them out for stupid things like CD's and movies and candy and clothes. Then I found out he took my food stamps card and got everything he liked (which I did not like). He even got 15 dollar steaks and all caffienated pop, which I don't drink. At this point I was infuriated. I started searching for a job.
It got worse over time. He started poking and whacking me in the stomach thinking it was funny hitting my 'fat' which was also our son. Not so funny to me. I also started finding text messages between him and his ex fiance telling her he loved her and all that stuff. I knew they were still sleeping together, and I knew he was still seeing her. He would offer to 'take me shopping' at the mall, and we would accidentally 'bump into' her. It was awful. We went to his Grandmothers funeral when I was 10 weeks pregnant, and he left me alone the whole day with family I had never met and was all over her. Yes, she was invited. Arms around her, hugging her, wiping her tears, making me switch seats with her at dinner after the ceremony so he could sit next to her, ordering for her.. etc. It made me sick. He even wanted to make her laugh so he grabbed my hand and cut my palm open with the knife, thinking it would just leave a mark and not break skin to be funny. It did break skin. It hurt, and bled a lot, and I still have a scar. I needed out. I wanted out so bad.
I found a job at KMart and had an interview. My cell phone had gotten shut off so obviously, I had no way to be reached. I went on my interview and came back to him not speaking to me. I asked what I had done wrong and he went nuts on me for leaving without taking his phone. He started raising his arm at me, then putting it down and walking away and punching the walls, the shower walls (we were arguing in the bathroom hallway). I told him I was going to stay at my Mom's for the night. He wouldn't let me out the door or give me my keys until we 'made up'. I lied, and told him I was over it. He started trying to get me to have sex. I said no, and he said sex makes everything better, so having sex would be my apology. I just wanted to leave. I just wanted my Mom. He kept trying and pressuring, so I just gave in. I laid there and waited to be able to leave. To run home and just feel loved for one day. I wanted to get away. I stayed at my Moms for 2 days and then I had no choice but to go back. That was June 26th. I remember because it was the day Michael Jackson died. He met me at my Moms and we drove back to his house an hour away. I got home, well to his house i should say, felt very queasy from m/s (i was almost 13 weeks at this point) and took a shower and got in bed (it was about 830pm. I called my Mom in tears telling her how much I loved her and how it meant the world to me for her to let me stay and how I felt so loved and cared for and happy for the first time in months when I stayed with her. She didn't yell at me for falling asleep early, she didn't make fun of me when I was sick the next morning, she didn't force me to eat when I wasn't hungry. She even got me what I was craving!! (black pepper green beans from KFC). He was so mad that I was in bed so early so again, he picked me up out of bed, carried me in the rain across the street to his grandmas house, and told me I was rude for sleeping and needed to spend 'quality time' with his family. I just cried and fell asleep. I was drained.
The next day my Mom took half a day off work. She decided to take the trip out an hour to see me. He was at work. She finally arrived at his house and I showed her where I slept, where my stuff was, what I did all day and all the food he bought with my stamps that I didn't like when she asked why I wasn't eating. I had lost 8lbs and knew I was becomming dehydrated. It was time for her to go, and I cried on her shoulder and hugged her goodbye. As she was getting in her car he pulled in. He demanded I go to the gas station with him. I told him I was nauseous and tired and had no desire to go 25 mins to the nearest gas station for oil. He was infuriated. He started screaming at me for never going places with him but 'going to walmart with my mom or going to kmart by myself ' and he sped off, screeching tires and all. I begged my Mom not to leave me there, and I could tell her heart was breaking for me. She left and I went inside to lay down and just cry. I knew she wanted to help me, but I don't think she knew how or what to do. He came home and wouldn't speak to me. I told him there was no point in me going to the gas station. It was the dumbest argument ever. I called my sister, we hadnt spoken in months at that point, and told her everything. She told me I could always come stay. I thanked her for the offer but told her I was okay. I went inside, he didn't speak to me all through dinner, yelled at me for laying down and not wanting dessert.
I had enough. I starting packing up my bags and getting ready to leave. He came and found me upstairs getting my stuff together and called me every name in the book. His parents sat there and watched. His Mom smiled. I'll never forget that. His Dad and I were close, and his Dad just sort of gave me an, 'I'm so sorry' look, and looked away.
I got all my stuff in my little car and tried to leave. He took my car battery out when I was packing my stuff and refused to give it back. I told him if he didn't put it back in I was calling the police. He finally put it back while I was dialing the police, and then he demanded his phone back. I told him I'd have no way to reach anyone and he didn't care. I said "Okay, just let me call my sister and tell her I'm coming". I did. Then I went against his 'orders' and quickly dialed my Mom. I told her what was happening. She was out to dinner with my Stepdad. She was in shock. She could hear him demanding my maternity clothes off my back because he bought them. She heard him calling me a psycho b!tch. She heard him telling me to give the baby up for adoption, and saying that me and the baby ruined his life. She stayed on the phone 12 minutes after I thought I hung up with her, because it was a touch screen phone, and I had thought I hung up but I didnt. She heard me drive off and still was connected in his pocket. She heard his Dad scream at him for treating me that way, and she heard his Mom say I was nothing but trash and shes glad I was gone. I went and stayed with my sister 5 weeks then moved in with my Mom, which is where I still am.
I got a job cleaning and checking chemicals at a local pool. I heard from him the week after I moved out and it was just text messages saying that the baby was a mistake because Sarah (his ex fiance) was not the mother. After that, I hadn't heard from him until August. I attempted to be civil with him. He asked if I wanted to get together and go 'baby shopping'. After hours and days of talking, I figured might as well try to be nice. He picked me up and I expected to get baby stuff. Instead, he pulled into a hotel parking lot. I told him he was nuts and he said we'd just spend some time together (my mom wouldnt let him over her house and we had nowhere to go 'talk' alone). Stupid me, I went in. He never raped me. Well, he never got the chance, because I always gave in to the peer pressure. He kept trying to have sex with me at the hotel, and I kept saying no. So what did he do? Stop speaking to me and refuse to take me home. So, I did it. I did it to get it over with that way I could just leave. He finally took me home, and I told him to NEVER speak to me again. I had also found out he was still seeing/sleeping with Sarah, but she was on vacation at the time that we met up. He left me alone until my due date.
On my due date I had a text message from him wishing me luck and a good labor and healthy baby and such. I didn't respond. I had maximum security at the hospital and everybody knew that he was not to be allowed on the L&D floor at all. I did very well with him not knowing Nathan was born. However, Sarah had a friend who was a nurse at the hospital and she told him how to check the online nursery to see when he was born and see his pictures. I didn't want his pictures online, but they said they no longer ask first. I didn't know that ahead of time. My fault there I guess.
I debated for 3 weeks with my Mom if I should let him meet Nate, and try to be civil. I decided to try it out. He came to meet the baby, and had no clue what to do. He'd never even held a baby before. Sarah kept calling (at this point they were engaged again and living together with his parents... lame).. she told him to get home and it was either her or Nathan. I argued with him about picking her over the baby. I demanded he stay and help me get Nathan fed and to bed because not only was I fuming that he was choosing her over the baby, but I was tired/overwhelmed/home alone and resentufl. When Nathan cried, he yelled at him to shut up. That was the end of it. I told him to leave. I told him I didn't wanna speak to him and that letting him come meet Nathan was a mistake. Nathan had a doctors apt for his Thrush a few days later and DB was paying for it. He showed up there. I brought my sister with me so I wouldn't have to be alone with him and Nathan. He showed up, payed the copay, didn't aknowledge Nathan or say two words to me, told the Pedi he was sorry he couldn't stay for the appointment but he was exhausted from being up with Nathan all night (THAT INFURIATED ME, HES NEVER SPENT MORE THAN 2 HOURS WITH HIM AND IT WAS ALL DAYTIME WITH ME THERE!) and he left. He sent a text that said he was never paying for anything for Nathan again and that he wanted nothing to do with us.
That is the last time I saw him. He sends a text once every 3 weeks or so. Same exact text. Even the same typos. It says "Just wondering how Nathan doing". Same bad grammar, same exact text. I can tell he locked it in his outbox and just hits resend once every month or so. I'm sure there are some little tidbits and facts I may have forgotten, but I'm sure you get the point.
So now, I'm in the process of getting CS, and my lawyer said he has very little chance of getting any visitation, and if at all, he'll most likely get supervised visitation. I should add it in just for an fyi, he drinks a lot. They party all the time. I never have drank, I dont agree with the party scene. Hopefully he'll just disappear.
That is all 100% truth. Sad, but true. If you have any questions at all, I promise I will answer them in complete honesty.
If you really read all of this, thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
Re: Alright girls. The whole LONG story. Here goes nothing..
You need to talk to a counselor. Immediately. I'm not even going to get into the numerous bad decisions... it was just one after another. There are just so many issues here that you need to talk through with someone who is qualified and will look out for your best interests (i.e. you need to speak with a professional therapist/counselor, not strangers on an internet board).
My only advice? Get a restraining order against this man. He has no business being in your life. Do not "try to be nice." End all contact. Change your phone number. He can contact you through your lawyer if necessary. You have to take care of yourself and your son and make SMART decisions.
I wish you the best of luck.
This sounds like it should have been on Sixteen and Pregnant.
Why do you need a lawyer? Just file the paperwork for CS and a restraining order. If money is an issue, which you state over and over, why would you spend money on a lawyer when you don't need too.
Blah. Most matches some of the other stories you have told. But if this is the truth you need to speak to a professional because your choices sucked. And you should have walked away from him long before.
Amanda- I told you this when you were pregnant, but I really think you should see a counselor.
You have been through a lot and I know you want to be a great mom to Nathan, so talk to someone, let them help you work through things.
Let them help you see that you deserve better and that you should never have to "give in" to have sex with someone.
Keep that man away from Nathan, he is nothing but bad news.
See if you can find a christian counselor, I pray that God reaches you during this time and that you accept His comfort and love.
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that but I pray that you never regret it because now you have a beautiful son.
Don't look back, look ahead and make your son be proud of his mommy for how she handled all of this.
And to those of you being snarky- shame on you, I know there has been a lot of drama around her but really, she just bared it all (and I believe that) I'm sure it wasn't easy to do and she needs support even if it is online.
I agree about the counseling....you need it, badly. I am not flaming, but I couldn't even read through the whole thing, and I read really fast. I think the best thing would be counseling, and it certainly sounds like your ex should not be anywhere around DS. Document everything you can (but the shorter and more to the point the better, no one is ever going to read something that's very long and detailed-short, concise things are best).
GL and thanks for sharing your story.
I completely agree. You need to completely separate yourself AND your DS. You both deserve someone who will treat you well. You made bad choices in the past, now it's time to make good ones. Don't let friends sway your decisions and do what YOU feel is best for you as well as Nathan. Good luck!
I was thinking Maury or maybe Jerry.
CTri-- your words are touching, and I will never ever regret anything. I'm so in love with my beautiful baby boy. When I got pregnant, I wasn't forced into the sex like I was most times. Maybe more pressured than I should have been but it felt very different. I will never resent or regret Nathan.
He isn't on the BC. I don't want him involved period. But he is trying to see him. He wants SOLE CUSTODY, and if not that then shared parenting. I'm doing all I can to keep him away for good. Thats why I have a lawyer, because hes trying and trying.
If he is not on the BC how is he trying... did he get a court order for a dna test... did you get paperwork from a lawyer saying he wanted to be added.
the fact that you say you had no where to go is crap. That's what shelters are for.
if this story is for real then you need some serious mental help, actually no you need mental help either way.
Me: 37
DH: 36
Married: 08-25-07
DS: 11-20-09
Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken
Yeah. He requested the DNA test, and its mandatory. Ughhh.
::dead::
wow, focus on your LO and put an end to this man.
Time and time again you have been "pressured" into doing whatever he has wanted you to do, you have a child now, stop being a pushover.
Sorry if I am being harsh or rude but you need to stop making bad decisions.
GL with your son.
At OP, Please go get counseling and get in contact with your local domestic violence crisis line, shelter, support group, whatever. I found this site with google. https://www.domesticviolencecenter.org/ It looks like they have some good resources in your area (Cleveland). Please contact someone about this. There are people and services that can help you with all of this as well as get your the counseling and support you need.
And I usually stay out of drama, but all of you saying maury, 16 and pregnant and other sh!t about her are riduculous. I work every day with victims of domestic violence. She may or may not be lying, I don't care. What if she is not and really needs help? If you can't help, then keep quiet. There is no point in saying anything if you can't help her with her situation. What if you were abused? There are plenty of women out there who make bad choices and some who make perfect choices and still get abused. NOTHING in the entire world EVER justifies domestic violence, EVER. No choice a women ever makes deserves being beaten, forced in to sex and being constantly threatened and harassed.
Amanda, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here, and assume this is all true. And my heart breaks for you and Nathan.
Seek counselling. Most churches have connections that are low-cost, some even free.
Don't ever take this man's calls again. You have a lawyer, if he wants to speak to you, he can call your lawyer. Don't let Nathan anywhere near him until the case is over. If he's that crazy...you never know what he could do.
Rely on your family and friends for support...hopefully you have a good system in place for that. If not, see if you can join any mommy groups...those women could be a sounding board for you.
Don't be ashamed. This happens every day. Be thankful that you got out, and that you are no longer in that awful situation.
I really do wish you the best of luck, and hope that this all works out in the end for you and Nathan.
I will read this all later when I get home from work.
Amanda - obviously everybody thinks your need help. Not from internet friends or a forum. Professional help.
You know what happened to me, and I am STILL in counseling. It's not a bad thing to look into. Not only did my therapist help me oversee how I was feeling but she has helped me motivate myself to do things with my life. School, work, etc etc. My life is on the right track finally.
Not only seek professional help, but go to church. God saved me, and it's never too late to save yourself. God will always deliver my dear, seek him, trust his word, and follow him, and he WILL bless you.
You are NEVER ever alone when you walk with God. He is forever by your side, because he lives inside of you.
Good Luck.
I'm really sorry for what you are going through. Some of these chicks are just snotty. As a nursing student who was recently schooled in domestic violence, one of the hardest parts for people to understand is why you stay, so just ignore these chicks since they are lucky enough to not understand.
As for your situation - it sounds like you are doing the right thing. Definitely contact a violence crisis center like the one listed as if your story is true, there is no doubt that you have been emotionally, phsically and sexually abused. Get the lawyer for sure. Get a restraining order, and stay away from that man!
Christian counselor? What does that have to do with it. A counselor would help period.
It would help your personal growth and help to make better decisions for your son.
i think counseling is a great idea, or a support group. lots of women out there have men in their lives that they wish were not the father to their child. lots of women have been through what you are going through, and have been through. it is NOT your fault. you are the victim here, whether you allowed some of the behavior or not. that is what abuse is, and what abuse does. it gains your trust and then hurts you, then begs for forgiveness, and you give it another try because you think you owe it to them and your child.
nathan is a blessing. trust your feminine instincts and keep him and yourself away from him. you use words like nice a lot, and i think you have to stop thinking about doing what is nice to him, the father, and do what is SMART for nathan. you owe this *** nothing. steer clear, and stay in touch with your family and friends whether they agree with your decisions or not.
I agree with the PP's who have said to seen professional counseling. I'm receiving it right now for bi-polar, depression, as well as just having someone outside of my family and friends to talk to. Someone who isn't biased can be an amazing help.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm sure there are people who you know who have a therapist/counselor etc etc and you wouldn't even be able to tell! It's one of those things that can change your life IF you stick to it. :]
Good luck, and Nathan is absolutely adorable! :]
Reading this really brought tears to my eyes, I feel so sorry for what you had to go through, NO ONE EVER deserves to be treated like that!!
I agree that you need to get into some counseling or therapy, you will be suprised how much it will help.
I am not the type of person that 'attacks' people online, that's just pointless and rude. I want you to know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, I will listen, sometimes that's just what you need. Take care of yourself and that precious little boy!
Simply because of this
He would tell me I looked 'retarded' while I was getting sick with M/S. When I was too queasy to eat he would literally shove food in my mouth. When I would fall asleep early he would pick me up and carry me outside (in the rain one time) to 'get me fresh air to wake me up because im lazy and have no reason to sleep since i dont work'. He would whack me in the vagina and say 'think fast!'. He would open the shower curtain while I was in there and start peeing on me. He would always call me fat & a heffer, and laugh at me for my tight clothes ( I was bloated, I was in my 1st tri, I couldn't help it!). Then he started getting really crazy. He took my credit cards and maxed them out for stupid things like CD's and movies and candy and clothes. Then I found out he took my food stamps card and got everything he liked (which I did not like). He even got 15 dollar steaks and all caffienated pop, which I don't drink. At this point I was infuriated. I started searching for a job.
you need therapy STAT. This was abuse; why didn't you leave this azzhole??
First one makes me cringe..what were you thinking? He could have killed your son!!! Even if you hadn't miscarried your child could have had physical and mental disabilities!!! No one should allow this to happen, because not only was it emotional but physical abuse as well...
Then the second one... WOW!! why would you let him cut you... you could have snatched your hand away or something! And no one said anything about this at the funeral? Someone had to have seen that!!!
Then not going somewhere, anywhere that's really telling us that you did not try hard enough to leave! I personally would have lived in my car before I would have stayed in that situation.... There are a million things here that throws up different little red flags!!! This whole post scares me...
I'm not trying to be mean or put you down, but go to the local health dept and tell them your situation and see if they can find a free or cheap counselor for you to talk to!!! In the end its all about the LO!!!
This exactly.
The same
and one more thing, get off these boards please (not trying to flame) you need personable attention (real interactive people not e-people) and positive attention, none of which you get on these boards. It would be in your best intrest, your reputation on these baords will always bring negative comments and just tear you down more. You need to seriously improve your self image, and these boards won't help you with that.
Learn to take care of yourself, so you can take care of your son.
I really hope everyone who reads this load of crap realizes that she is ONCE AGAIN looking for validation and pity.
She refuses to get help. You can all tell her that until you are blue in the face.
She likes the attention of being a victim. She will always be the victim in whatever situation she is in.
Some people are so screwed up in the head there is nothing you can do to help them. This girl needs an intervention, not validation from people on an internet board.
And now that you've "welcomed" her you will be stuck with her stories. I hope you all enjoy your daily dose of BSC. She's not mentally stable.
I have, until now, tried to stay out of all this, but please people! She is still young! People tend to generalize when they write things so no, in your mind, her story may not seem completely factual. This doesn't make her pain and poor judgement any less. Did she change her story? Yes! Did she post where she shouldn't? Yes! But, jeez, lay off her. If you don't like her, DON'T OPEN HER POSTS! I remember being her age and I know that I might have changed stories at that age, maybe to seek attention or maybe because my view of things changed.
Amanda, you're so young. I made a ton of mistakes when I was your age. I am not brave enough to share my story to a message board. I truly hope that you seek counseling, whether it is through a church or somewhere else. I commend you for posting your story and if you need to talk, you are welcome to send me a PM.
Now I'm going to sit back and wait for people to flame me too.
I agree with you 100%. Everyone here has the capability to avoid these posts and move on. Whether she's looking for sympathy or not we don't know for sure because we don't actually KNOW her. She may have come here looking for support and I for one am not going to shoot her down. Please, show a little care ladies, you're all so helpful to everyone else.
Thank you all for your kind responses. I'm gonna try to answer a few questions I saw reading through the thread but if I forget any I'll go back and answer those too.
We don't have contact... He text messages my old number, which thankfully, will be turned off at midnight tonight. The phone had broken, and it was prepaid, so I just switched services all together and had to wait for the minutes to expire. We don't speak. He is trying to see Nathan because I keep getting letters of him requesting paternity tests and such. Also, I have been setting up appointments with different counselors to find somebody I like whom will work with my schedule and insurance plan.
Just to add in... yes I'm still damaged from what I went through, but I'm doing wonderful! I'm so in love with LO, I have a job I love and have been at for 2 months now, I officially move into my new apartment in 4 weeks. I'm doing great! However, I still am going to be talking to a counselor, and also I'm going to try to find a Mommy group of some sort just so I won't be so alone all the time. I've also recently connected with some girls from high school I never knew that well that are also single Moms.
Thank you again for all of your advice/responses/offers to PM for help/to talk/ and just for reading
Amanda,
I was one of those who gave much advice and encouragement originally in 2nd tri. When things started going overboard and drama filled, I gave sincere advice where I felt you honestly needed it and I did encourage you to seek help and to leave the boards a few times not out of running you off, but in honest to goodness effort of getting you the help you needed then.
I'm glad to hear that you are looking for that help now because no matter the story your life has, if it is that one or a compilation of the previous ones or something completely different, you have been in a rough situation and need the help.
I am one of those people who can easily ask myself, 'why didn't she leave?' but I know the answer. Many people in a situation like what you described can't see the way past the body blocking the door, even when that body isn't home. It wasn't that you could not stay at your mom's house, it was that you didn't FEEL like you could. You were under his control due to many bad choices and his ability to manipulate and bully.
I'm not sure how much of this post I believe but I hate to think that anyone would make up such a terrifying tale for sh:ts and giggles (I prefer to believe people even after stories change...I'm either gullable or I like to believe in honesty--could be the same thing but I digress...).
I'd still like to express my concern for the drama that follows you here and yet you continue to feed into it. I'd love to see you take a break as I have (I went 2months without even lurking here). I know it is very difficult to tear yourself away because it was hard for me but after the first week it was incredibly easy in comparison. Consider just a 1 month break from TB. I think it would help you focus on you so much more than being here.
Good luck, Amanda!
I am sorry but I don't believe you one bit. Yes, you admitted to lying in the past good for you. However, the above statement shows that you are still lying. In the post right before this you mentioned you had spoken with your lawyer yesterday...Following is the exact post...
"I apologize for any drama I had caused in previous posts. I'd like to just start anew on this board. I'm not looking for flames, or even advice, just support. I spoke with a lawyer yesterday and the process of everything involving DB (CS, Visitation, Rest. Orders, Etc.) has begun. If there is anything anybody would like to know, I promise to give 100% honest answers. Yes I have fibbed a lot in the past, but that was only because I was either humiliated/ashamed to tell the truth, or too scared of being judged"
Care to explain that one? If you're going to tell the truth, then tell the truth and don't make it so easy for us to see through your lies.