I am so sick of hearing this from everyone and their moms. Whenever anyone asks me how I am doing, I always basically say "I'm good, just a little tired" And 90% of the time, their response is ultimately "you have to sleep when the baby sleeps!" Ugggggh!
They don't understand when Lily is sound asleep I have to eat, shower, feed the cats, go to the bathroom, clean and prepare bottles for next feeding etc... How the hell can I sleep every single time she does? Impossible. There is always something I need to do. Plus, it's usually the people with no kids that always say this.
Do you hear this a lot from people?
Sorry if I sound whiny I just need to let out a little steam tonight, and I feel better! Thanks for hearing me out.
Re: Sleep when the baby does.....
I hear it from everyone and I have tried ,but unfortunately it just doesn't always work out like that. I usually wait until my hubby gets home from work to squeeze in some sleep and on his days off is when I really catch up.
I do have a regular naptime in the morning after her 6am feed and before her midmorning feed but it doesn't always happen.
Sometimes I'm busy and sometimes I just can't catch sleep.
I agree it's the ones who say it in the a singsong voice like it's the easiest thing in the world.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Not really, but I don't think I really comment on being tired.
I LOVE MY THREE KIDS!
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I HATE hearing that... DH still doesn't undestand how impossible that is, and DD is almost 12 weeks old! lol
I was talking to DD at my dr.'s appointment the other day, and she was sooo sleepy. So I said something like, "you can take a nap when we get home. And maybe mommy will too." And the nurse was like, "yeah, that's smart to sleep when she does." And I was thinking... because my other option is to sleep when she's wide awake??
Stupid people...
Yes and in the early days, I did it as much as I could! He'd eat and fall asleep, I'd grab a yogurt and head to bed!
Now, I stay up a lot more but still try to take at least one nap
Unfortunately it's just one of those things that people will constantly repeat over and over. Wait until you have 2+ and they STILL keep telling you that. Ummmm, when they are on opposite napping schedules it don't work. LOL.
I just smile and nod at this point. More out of habit
UGH! Yes! I hate this! I'm working form home during maternity, and to get the house and myself clean, when are those several naps supposed to fit in?
Obnoxious, yes!
Yeah, it no fail works out that when I actually can take a nap, he doesn't sleep long enough for me to fall asleep. Otherwise, I tend to lay on the couch and just wait for his cry - getting no real rest.
The only way I can get at least one somewhat consistent nap is to do skin to skin time with him for a few hours after my husband leaves for work. But I consider that part of our night's sleep. Otherwise I'd only be getting 4 hours some nights.
Omg yes! If I actually do take a nap when the baby is sleeping and she wakes an hour into my nap...I feel 10 times worse. I definitely need at least 4 hours for me to feel refreshed.
Feeding the cats might take about 2 minutes at most, going the bathroom maybe 5, shower could be 10....I think there is plenty of time to still catch a cat nap.
I heard it from everyone.
I don't think they mean sleep every time the baby sleeps, but give yourself a break one of those times she naps and nap with her. I'm using DD's current nap to Nest, eat, and take a shower, but will probably sleep when she does this afternoon.
I just had to comment on your baby's picture - ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!! so precious! and I love your timeline that says "happily drinking beer again since..." I'm so excited to stop pumping/nursing to have a few cocktails
Recently I have given mothers the same advice but truthfully. I do let them know that is practically impossible to sleep when the baby sleep. So the times the baby is sleep do chores. I am on baby number four and have learned that if the baby is on a schedule you will be able to know what you can accomplish during what nap times. Keep the schedule simple so you still have energy for your bundle of joy when they wake up.
You are right everyone that has told me that was not a parent.
It is hard, but worth it!
Congratulations to all new mommies!
Yep, that's a constant reply from most people including my girlfriend who has 2 kids. Everyone's different with different chores around the house and different lifestyles. Rest assured your little Lily will eventually sleep long enough at night for you to get a decent rest. That doesn't mean you won't always feel a little tired because as Mom's we've taken on a whole other career--one that never ends. LOL
My little Jackson is 3 months and he's started to sleep about 10 hours a night. Knowing that I can now schedule when to go to bed myself and when I need to get up the next morning.
Love everyone's cute photos!
Everybody has told me this too. My son is 3 weeks old today. I definatly agree with you. It's not that easy. Eating, showering, cleaning, functioning at all kind of gets in the way of that. I might get one nap it, if he feels like sleeping at the right time of day. I'm not naping at 9 in the morning or 3 in the afternoon. it's gonna be around noon....otherwise you cant get anything else done.
It seems like some women forget.
It's actually great advice if you can adjust. Most moms (including myself) try to do way too much especially in the beginning. We think that we have to do all these things...dishes, clean, etc..but if you let it go for a day it's not a big deal. Have the supermarket shop for you, order dinner out a little more if you can afford. We all find ways to make things work when we want them to. Give yourself that much needed break that you deserve! If you can't sleep...at least lay down and relax a bit. A happy and unstressed mom equals a happy baby.
We do what we find important to us and if sleep is not a priority to you that is okay...just don't complain about it so that others give you that unsolicited advice that you don't want to hear. It's all in how we prioritize things.
*I wanted to note that I myself didn't take that advice in the beginning. As a new mom, I was too worried about not hearing the baby and I was too anal to let some things go....but eventually I got to a point where I was burning myself out and I wasn't enjoying my baby like I'm supposed to. So, I gave up on doing certain things and found other ways to get others things done in an easier way. It wasn't easy for me b/c my son only took 30 min. cat naps for a long while unless I was walking him in which nothing was getting done. Just wanted to say all that b/c I now give this advice and I have a baby (now 2) and another one on the way. I'll definitely try to take advantage of whatever nap opportunity I may get w/ two kids as I know the odds are going to be much slimmer for a nap for me.
I keep hearing this too. In a perfect world we wouldn't have to cook, clean, shower, get dressed, do laundry, or anything else that takes away the precious hours we have to sleep.
I also love how everyone around me thinks I'm an idiot and have no basis in reality when it comes to what it will be like with a baby. My soon to be mother in law is constantly telling me exactly what life will be like. I want to strangle her! I had a little sister, have many friends with babies, and babysat non-stop for years. I wish she would stop telling me about what her perfect pregnancy, birth and raising of my fianc?e was like! Our situations are completely different, and trying to make me feel like I have no clue what is to be expected is infuriating!
Jackson is only breastfeed. The only thing I did was make sure he was fed everytime he woke up for the first 3 weeks; 2-3 hours. By 1 1/2 months I started him on a nightly routine. Several girlfriends gave me advice about giving him a bath before you put him down for bed. So I choose the same hour every night, gave him a bath with lavendar, feed him to exhaustion and then put him to bed. It was a challenge the first week, but eventually he got the hint.
Also, I don't put him in the bassinet/crib until night time. I just have a feeling if I put him in bed everytime he takes a nap he'll get confused with day versus night.
It's not a perfect method, but he's been sleeping long enough to help me get sleep and stay sane.
I agree..People mean well but that's not always possible unless you have a nanny or your mom is staying with you to help out. Don't we wish!
I have a blog post on this topic called- Sleep Deprivation Techniques at www.notthemommytype.com. Let me know what you think.
When my DF was prego w/her DD and right after she gave birth, people at her church told her these two thing all the time. She slept as much as she could during the 3rd trimester - not easy with a household to run and 30 lbs in her front, especially during the time when the baby moved a lot (which usually was as soon as she laid down for a nap). When her DD was born, she quickly found that sleeping when the baby sleeps is hard to do. She breastfed so the bottle-making thing rarely came up, but she couldn't eat, clean, shower, do laundry, or spend special time w/hubby while the baby was awake. She was able to cut some busy time and catch more naps by changing clothes less often - instead of every time DD spit up on her shirt - and choosing her battles when it came to cleaning. Screw the dusting and vacuuming for right now and the bathroom can be cleaned LESS, but dishes have to be done. She also took the baby to bed with her sometimes so she could breastfeed and cuddle without fully waking up. She showered while hubby or a visitor cared or the baby, and special time with hubby took the back burner. They had special time by bathing the baby together or letting his parents take the baby for a while. Once a week, her mom took the baby for 24 hours, and she packed in as much sleep as she could and did laundry and cleaning then instead of when the baby was home (except dishes).
Now that she's with me, we're already working out what I can do as far as cleaning and childcare so that she can sleep more, and what she's going to do to make sure I get enough sleep. For instance, I'll do laundry on my day off and cook and wash the dishes all at once three times a week when I get off work, and keep everything stocked so she can find it quick and easy. She will keep the baby in our room at night and I will sleep on the couch so I can sleep through the baby's crying. We're still working out the rest - including how we will fit special alone time in.