How would you react ladies?
melissawillr
member
Today I was talking with one of my good friends, (mother to a four and two year old girls,) and I mentioned to her that I've made my decision to formula feed. Ideally I would have opted to breastfeed, but due to medical reasons that's not practical. I asked her if she had any friends in her mothers group that used formula, and if so, what brand. She informed me that none of her friends used formula and left it at that. I spoke with her today and apparently she called the Le Leche in my town, (she lives three hours away,) and inquired about getting me some donor breastmilk. Apparently it would be shipped from another state and is rather expensive. I don't know if it's my hormones or if I'm justified in being really irritated that she didn't respect what I said, "I'm formula feeding," and went out of her way to get the information that she felt I should have. I hate that I'm overanalyzing things, but ugh, so irritated.
This conversation was also followed up with her telling me that when he's born, I should let him latch on for bonding and comfort. I told her, "so that i can take him off my boob and try to get him onto a bottle when I know I'll be bottle feeding him?!" The poor guy will have had a confusing enough day. Just because she's been a mom for four years doesn't mean her advice is needed or wanted.
Re: How would you react ladies?
The use of donor milk is NOT like wet nursing. The milk is screened and pasturized. It comes from women who have an abundant supply, or sometimes from women who's own babies have passed away. I think it's an awesome thing for one woman to do for another who wants her baby to have breast milk and for whatever reason can't give her own.
Well, that sounds a little better, but I still wouldn't do it, personally. I am going to breastfeed though. Hey, these sand bags are good for something right!
Great! I'm not crazy. I was totally shocked that she would have done this, kinda of behind my back, when I didn't ask for this information. I'm a doula so she should know that I have, "resources." And I agree breast milk is best, but I've had two brain tumors and am on a ton of medication and I'd like my for my son to be med-free for the first time since conception. Like I said, decision already made, maybe by my next baby I won't be on so many meds and perhaps I can breastfeed. I'll be seeing her this weekend, my baby shower, she'll be staying with us. I'm going to gauge how she is in person and if needed I'm going to tell her, thanks, but no thanks. I'm going to be doing things differently and I'm going to ask that she respect my decisions as I did hers.
I'm so glad you all didn't think I was over-reacting. I'm truly trying to tell myself that she has my best intentions at heart, but maybe she should keep her mouth closed too.
I was thinking this too... No doubt she could've done it in a better way. She probably should have just made the suggestion and given you the information. But knowing that you ideally would like to breast feed, she was probably just trying to be helpful by offering you an alternative so your baby could still get all the benefits of breast milk.
Maybe if the girl had suggested the option to OP and said just to give you a heads up if you want to try breast milk. But to go behind her back and make these decisions for her is not right. It seems like she is pushing that breast is best. The OP has her reasons why she is not BF and that is HER choice. NO ONE should make her feel bad for that or try to change her.
P.S. I am very set on BF but if someone chooses not to that is their choice just as much as BF is mine.