A TMI question for you ladies. Topic of sexual nature. Borderline NBR.
Azrayla
member
Okay so let me get right to it. How many of you ladies own/use self satisfaction tools? (Vibrators etc) And what does your DH think of such? (clearly wouldnt apply to the single ladies)
The reason I ask!
I don't get, and really have never gotten an O from just intercourse with DH, don't get me wrong, I love the sex, I just can never "finish" I suppose.. He's the first and only I've been with..I've had "stuff" before I met him and got rid of it early in our relationship because he didnt really approve..
My sex drive has always been above his as I mentioned he's the only I've been with but he's had more experience with others.. and claims that I shoudn't have such a high drive for being female (my drive was up even before the baby, but now it doesnt help). He's only 25!
ANYway I told him I was going to get myself something so he wont feel pressured all the time if he doesn't like it so much and he says if I do that it would be "messed up" as if he should be enough without any "extra" help..
Out of respect for his opinions I havent attempted to get anything and it wont really be that big of a deal (I dont think) maybe it'll hurt his "man pride" if I do it..but, my hand just doesn't cut it like it can with boys 
TIA?
Re: A TMI question for you ladies. Topic of sexual nature. Borderline NBR.
I love using one...and...DH likes it on himself as well...we have two little ones that we use together - we don't like dildo-type - but, the vibration enhances everything for him and for me...
We do it with and without - but, most recently, with...
I've never gotten the big "o" from just intercourse alone either... but I don't use tools... just.. ahem... my hand.
Dh doesn't mind at all. I told him from the get-go that this was the case, and he is completely understanding.
My ex-husband was threatened by it though, and it definitely made our sex life suffer. I didn't ever want to have sex with him because I didn't enjoy it.
All.The.Time. i use them with and without DH (hes not always around and im impatient lol)
use it with him during sex. get him into the idea of it. never let it seem like its a replacement and never tell him that sex with him doesnt get you to O-you might as well just castrate him. get some sexy kinky lingerie and whip it out with him. he will realize it is a wonderful thing. also you can hold it to your clit while he is inside of you or against his balls or taint. he will not argue with you again about them. if you have a sex store near you go out to dinner (have him drink some wine) then go there to get a treat.
Dh gets me to *** and thats not the issue with us, we just love to spice it up. many couples use them not everyone talks about it.
I'm going to be completely blunt and honest here, you're H sounds very immature and not very well versed on female sexuality.
Many women can't orgasm through intercourse alone. Infact most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Your H should want to you to be satisified. I would talk to him about this and let him know how you feel.
Fun with Santa!
Love the name Juan Carlos. I've always called mine BOB (Battery Operated Boyfriend). BOB only comes out when I need a quick, to-the-point O. Sometimes you just get an urge that needs to be taken care of and I don't always feel in the mood for foreplay and intercourse and having to worry about pleasing DH. Go ahead and call me selfish.
I'm with both of you on this. Don't have a name for mine though...lol. My husband and I have no problem with each other masturbating. My toy was a Valentines present from years ago. I'll be sad when it dies.
Just to touch on something else you mentioned- My sexdrive is much higher than my DH's (well, maybe not since being pregnant- but before it definately was). We had trouble earlier on in our relationship because I always wanted it more than him. Having been cheated on in a previous relationship, the idea of him not always wanting sex all the time made me feel like it was something about me, but having been together for quite a while now, I realize that we just have different needs.
I'm not sure that I would call your DH immature as in PP's,- some people are just more open-minded about this topic than others and you may just have to work on getting him more comfortable with the idea of you using toys.
I dont think its TMI at all. and Personally i dont think you should have to ask your DH permission to get a toy at all. Its your body and if you want a little down time then by all means do it. he cant deny that he doesnt masturbate, its just so much easier with a toy.
I have a toy and I love it. Its not a dildo or anything just for clitoral stimuation ( sorry if TMI ) i say get your toy, and a couples toy and try it out with your DH and maybe he will warm up to the idea.
In the mean time get your own toy, use it when DH isnt there lol
The reason I said immature is because he thinks that just because she's a woman she shouldn't want sex very much, not because of the toys.
I totally agree.
DH totally supports and loves that I use toys. We use them together, or I use them when he's at work. If he had felt threatened by that we probably wouldn't have dated very long!
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
DH wasn't familiar with toys until he met me! He approves ... and even put one in my stocking 2 years ago! Naughty boy. We have toys for me, him, and us. This is what we have for him: https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/male-masturbators/sp-hand-job-stroker-165.aspx ... though he doesn't use it without me ... it's my job!
Take your DH to a couples sex toy party!!
Got it- I must've misread :-)
POS+April 2009-M/c May 2009, POS+July 2009-M/c Aug 2009, POS+ Novemeber 2009 -Baby Boy Charlie DOB 07/06/2010, POS+July 2011-M/c and D&C Aug 2011, POS+Dec 2011 -Baby Boy Ethan DOB 07/27/2012, POS+Aug 2013-TWIN BOYS! Jack and Miles born March 23rd 2014!!
Hah! I so would take him if I knew of any around an old coworkers mother threw those parties for ladies only.. With Valentines coming up I think something like that is what I'll "gift" to him.. Time to spice things up
And as for PP about using one with DH not around, that will def happen if he wont be willing to hear me out..
Ditto. So the idea is that you need to get over yourself WRT your needs but he doesn't have to get over himself WRT his ignorance? Nice one.
It sounds like your DH has issues with the fact that you cannot finish and instead of finding ways to please you he has put the blame on your "abnormal" sex drive. I don't see how it would be" messed up" for you to get a vibrator. It is no different than him pleasuring himself. Clearly there is a bigger issue here.
It is common for women to not orgasm from just penetration and if he spends more time learning your body and finding out what you like then you can solve many of your issues.
I have a vibrator. My DH knows I have it but I never use it when he is around and I don't tell him when I use it. He doesn't need to tell me when he has taken care of himself.
Lets be honest sometime you just want to have an orgasm and not necessarily have sex or want to reciprocate the pleasure, in which case a toy is perfect.
DH and I have all kinds of toys. I bought him some special lube and a couple of masturbation sleeves a few weeks ago b/c I know we'll be off the sex for a while towards the very end of the pregnancy (maybe) and postpartum (definitely).
Why don't you start with a non-threatening toy, like this duet? See https://store.babeland.com/men-couples-vibrating/duet-vibrating-***-ring
It's a ring that goes around the guy's, um, equipment, and then it's got vibrating stuff on either side. One vibrating nub is for you, one is for him. I got it for DH for Christmas and we *love* it...I'm sure you can get a cheaper version of something similar, too.
You can use it during intercourse then start playing with it on your own while he watches. For DH watching me use a vibrator on myself is a *huge* turn-on. And it turns me on to have him watch me.
BIO
Where did he get that pearl?
He sounds very immature and insecure. Get yourself a vibrator of sorts and use it with him. And stop faking O's or leading him to believe that you are enjoying yourself. You need to nip this whole thing in the bud before it gets way out of control.
Sorry but that sounds totally immature and insecure to be afraid/jealous of your wife's sex toys. Every man should know that a chick who is willing to try new things is a total prize and he should be thrilled. A woman who is more in tune with her own body is going to be a much better lover and partner than someone who doesn't dare explore their own pleasure. HE needs some serious sexual education... and I don't mean about the birds and bees. I think you should carefully select a hot self help style sexuality book from a mainstream bookstore for a Valentine's present.
I've only once O'd from just intercourse alone. Eventually I ask DH if he would be willing to try a toy. He was a little apprehensive at first but was willing to at least try it for me. There are many types of vibraitors out there. You might need to try a few before you find one you like, but its worth it. Maybe try and start off with a bullet. It won't be very threatening to your man since it doesn't look like a dildo. Also, you could try a c-ring with a vibrator. That way he is feeling it as well. Some c-rings have the option to remove the vibrator bullet so you can use it when its just you. Try checking out PureRomance.com there are a lot of nice toys on there. They also have all the different lubes you'll need.
i think men are just embarrassed.. but this is something that i love!! i think this is the newer version cause i cant find the exact one that i have but i love it.. he puts it on him and it stimulates your clitoris the whole time so your hand doesnt get in the way! we both love it!! ? lots of luck
https://ww2.pureromance.com/PublicStore/product/Bulls-Eye,331,1.aspx
I had a toy that my husband bought me before we got married and sometime while were moving it disappeared (he got rid of it but won't admit it). I don't really push the issue with his though because I've never even had an orgasm from sex or a toy or my hand or anything. My husband knows this and somehow he still wonders why I never want to have sex. I flat out asked him once why would I want to? I get zero pleasure out of sex. Sorry that was just my rant for that night.
I'm buying this!!!
We enjoy a vibrating *** ring as well. The vibration hits your clit during intercourse and is hands free. LOVE it.
I've only orgasmed once during intercourse, and that one time was when I was about 12 weeks along. I've had a "toy"--rabbit--, that I've used. For some reason, I will use it usually once a night, although my sex drive for bf is slim to none (he knows I have it, but doesn't know I use it). I feel bad that I use it, but I also know that I will have an orgasm with it, and it doesn't take long to orgasm.
Sex is well.....long. It takes awhile for him to get off, because he likes to last awhile, and I get sore and uncomfortable with it for awhile.
If he doesn't want you to have one, just get one and hide it. I know its not fair for him, but I also think you should be able to satisfy yourself, when your DH can't.
FYI--this is the rabbit I have, and I LOVE it lol
https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/rabbit-vibrators/sp-wild-g-spot-vibrator-11417.aspx
LMAO!!!!
Umm tell your husband he has two options.
1. Go down on you, and do it good, and do it til you have an O. IF he is not going down on you, he is just not fulfilling his husbandly duties, and either he needs to do it, or a battery operated toy can...and I'm not talking about fisher price.
2. Buy Rabbit
during our marital counseling, our priest told my DH that, "if your wife isn't happy in the bedroom, it's no one's fault but your own." I love Father I___