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feeling so glad not to be a working mom

mom2onemom2one member
in Stay at Home Moms
'Tis the time to be thankful and I am just feeling so glad tonight that I am able to be a stay at home mom. I read a post on the WM board the other night and this mom was talking about how she doesn't know how what to do / how to spend the short period of time after work until bedtime with her son...and I just felt so sad for her and her child. That "disconnect" must feel awful. I am so grateful that DS and I are so in sync and connected...it isn't an easy job ladies...but so totally worth it!
Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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Re: feeling so glad not to be a working mom

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    spartansuzispartansuzi
    I've done both- I worked full time for over a year, and now I'm able to be home. I know exactly how that woman feels- you're time is so compacted and rushed. Now I feel like all of my time with Drew is a luxury and every day I find moments with him that I know I would have missed if I was still at the office. You're right- not easy, but totally worth it!
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    susanmosleysusanmosley member
    I agree.  Part of what is making 1st-time-mom-ing so great for me is that I have TIME.  Yes, things are busy and always changing. DD is always on the go, bathrooms need to be cleaned, cleaning up 5 meals a day is a beast, laundry has to be done, etc., BUT I still find plenty of down time with DD.  We can sit and read together multiple times a day; we can drag out a craft/activity and leave it out all day; we can sleep late or take a long nap and just enjoy the wonderful details of life.  I am 100% positive that if I had to work, I would not be able to find the balance that I continuously aim for.  Staying at home definitely works for us.  
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    CLB111106CLB111106
    Just out of curiosity...did you offer any tips to the mom struggling to balance work and home?  I would think a SAHM would have lots of ideas for great, creative ways to spend time with your LO.  Tis the season of giving.
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    susanmosleysusanmosley member

    imageCLB111106:
    Just out of curiosity...did you offer any tips to the mom struggling to balance work and home?  I would think a SAHM would have lots of ideas for great, creative ways to spend time with your LO.  Tis the season of giving.

    Had it been me, I wouldn't have offered advice because I simply can't imagine how I would be able to balance it.  Thus, I have advice for SAHMs who have ample time, but I have none for the wonderful mothers who spread themselves so thin.  Can't imagine how tough it is! 

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    safysafy
    imagesusanmosley:

    imageCLB111106:
    Just out of curiosity...did you offer any tips to the mom struggling to balance work and home?  I would think a SAHM would have lots of ideas for great, creative ways to spend time with your LO.  Tis the season of giving.

    Had it been me, I wouldn't have offered advice because I simply can't imagine how I would be able to balance it.  Thus, I have advice for SAHMs who have ample time, but I have none for the wonderful mothers who spread themselves so thin.  Can't imagine how tough it is! 

    I have offered advice to WMs in the past only to have some come back at me for being judgmental. My mom was and still is a working mom who works VERY long hours. We had very little time to spend together when I was a child, but she was able to make the best out of every day and moment with me, so I kind of like to think I know what it's like and thought I'd share my experiences.  However, it's far too hard to be able to decipher someone's tone on a message board when discussing a delicate and sensitive topic such as a woman's frustrations on balancing work and home life.  It's is super tough to juggle work and home life and wanting to savor every moment of your child's youth, but it's hard to convey that sympathy without sounding like pity. 
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    CLB111106CLB111106
    Those are fair comments.  I just think it we tried to reach out to each other a little more there wouldn't be such a divide between SAHM and WM. 
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    EnglishMajor03EnglishMajor03 member

    imageCLB111106:
    Those are fair comments.  I just think it we tried to reach out to each other a little more there wouldn't be such a divide between SAHM and WM. 

    I agree!  We often talk here about how IRL all of us have WM and SAHM friends and we can all seem to get along just fine...

    At any rate, I just wanted to comment on your original question.  I have a WM friend who has 1 child.  She is thinking of having another and is contemplating SAH because she's feeling guilty about the little time she has with him during week nights.  But, she's not sure she's made to be SAH.  She was looking for some advice from me.  I told her that no matter your decision (WM or SAHM) you're probably always going to play the "what if" game.  My daughter has SN so I have to SAH and there's a ton of times I love it and a ton of times I wish I could work.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're always going to wonder if you're doing your best.  We are our own worst critics, unfortunately.  Know that you're doing a great job and your DC loves you more than anything regardless of if you have to work or not.  GL! 

    image
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    dionnemd10dionnemd10 member
    yep having been home now for 1.5 months i still can't believe we ever made it out of the house by 8am for work or even before that when i had a job where i had to be on the road by 6 or 7!   and how i got anything done at home is amazing to me.   now the days go by so fast and i don't find myself watching the clock etc hoping for the time to speed up.   i love the time with my daughter and getting things done.  in fact the other night i was thinking how sad it is that my hubby sometimes sees her only briefly in the morning (if she is up) and then for like 2 hours at night.   so i agree the trade off is very much worth it!
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    mom2onemom2one member
    There is a VAST disconnect between me and any mom who spends the 1-2 hours a day she has to spend with her child plunked in front of tv...so no...I didn't even know where to start.
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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    EnglishMajor03EnglishMajor03 member

    imagemom2one:
    There is a VAST disconnect between me and any mom who spends the 1-2 hours a day she has to spend with her child plunked in front of tv...so no...I didn't even know where to start.

    Huh?!

    image
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    AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member

    imagemom2one:
    There is a VAST disconnect between me and any mom who spends the 1-2 hours a day she has to spend with her child plunked in front of tv...so no...I didn't even know where to start.

    And you are a prime example of the type of person that gives SAHM a bad name. Judge much?

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